River's End (River's End Series, #1)(90)

“I wanted to do this, Erin. I wouldn’t ask you out on date because of Joey, and because you live here, and because of how awkward all this makes everyone else who lives with us feel. So I did this. So I had no choice. Here we are.”

Her eyes shot up to his. “Meaning… you wanted this?”

“Do I want you? Yeah.”

“I got that part the first time. What else is this?”

He looked down over her. His eyes became more serious and his tone, quiet. “This? As in, you’re not sneaking out of here in the middle of the night because I’m done with you.”

She tilted her head down. “You mean like Joey and me.”

“I mean we are nothing like you and Joey.”

Her head snapped back and he put a hand out towards her. She bit her lip and stared at his outstretched hand. Finally, she put her hand into his and stared at their linked fingers. Her heart paused and her breath stopped. It was more than sex. She kept her head down so he didn’t see the tears welling in her eyes. He couldn’t understand the relief, the joy, the amazing sensation that she felt upon hearing that he wanted her near him. With him. And for more than just sex.

“What do we do now?”

He smiled. “Try having it on a bed?”

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the boyish grin and sparkle in his eyes. How often had she seen Jack so carefree, open, and youthful? Never. She’d never seen Jack that way.

His smiled dimmed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, going on alert.

“I think I gave my son all my condoms.”

She hesitated, then said, “Joey has boxes of them in his nightstand. I’m sure they’re still there.”

She stared at the hooked rug under their feet rather than looking into his once happy face. Joey. Once again, he would always come between them.

Jack finally cleared his throat. “Well, at least I can count on my brother for that.”

Turning, he left the room and unbelievably to her, seemed intent on borrowing some condoms from his little brother. He was back in minutes with a box in his hand. “Seems you were right. He must have an entire case stored in there.”

She looked at his bed, then at him. “Should I go home?”

“Now?”

“No. After. I mean Charlie and Ben; you know the issues it could cause.”

He nodded. “I know the issues. They were the reasons I was so sure I wouldn’t do this. But no. No more walk of shame, Erin, not in the middle of the night.”

“It could be awkward.”

“It already is,” he said, but smiled as he came towards her. He looked into her eyes and brushed a hand into her hair. “I missed you.”

Her heart leapt into her throat. She’d never heard Jack use that tone. It was gentle, soft, sweet. And best of all, he meant it. He had missed her. And it couldn’t just be sex, because they never had sex before, so he couldn’t have missed that. He had to have missed her.

She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. She felt strange, and yet, she wanted to be there, no matter how odd she felt.

He took her into his arms, and pulled her closer to him. His mouth came down on hers and he kissed her with a tenderness no man ever showed her before. Her heart picked up speed, and she greedily accepted the kiss, not for the heat of it, but because it felt like he was caressing her soul, and not just her body. They fell back into the bed, and eventually, she forgot to think, or worry, or dread what the light of day might bring for them.

****

Erin blinked her eyes when she rolled over and shaft of sunlight pierced through the closed curtains. She popped open an eye and looked up at the white light seeping through the window. Sitting up, she pulled the bedsheet with her. She was alone and let out a sigh. Was it relief? Or disappointment? She wasn’t sure. It all seemed doable in the shadows of night when she contemplated them being together in front of everyone, despite having been together with Joey first. But now? How did she proceed? She already discussed it with Ben. Now Ian? And Charlie?

She shook her head to clear the fog, fingering through her hair. It felt like a ratty mess. She’d gone swimming and let it dry uncombed. The grit of sand told her she needed a brush, as well as a shower and should have gone home last night.

She got up and slipped her pajama bottoms on with her sweatshirt. Wishing she had jeans and a t-shirt, and didn’t look like she spent the night doing what they all would, no doubt, guess she’d been doing, she glanced at the mirror over the dresser and winced. Her hair was worse than she feared. It was a jumble of curls and snarls that tangled down her back. Her eyes were smudged with sleep rings, and her face looked pale. She took a deep breath for courage, then stepped out of the bedroom.

The bedroom opened into an alcove at the back, off the kitchen, where the entire household awaited her. She stopped, frozen like a deer in the headlights before backing up a step into the closed bedroom door. Jack was at the counter, pouring coffee into a blue mug. Ian was sitting at the table with Ben. And Shane. God. Where did Shane come from? Shane was standing up with his back to the kitchen, dressed in full leather, and his long hair in a skinny ponytail. He was talking to Jack.

They all turned towards her as she stepped out, never expecting to greet so many of them. And they were all staring at her as if they’d never seen her before. Even Jack. His face was neutral and there wasn’t even a trace or a hint of the man she’d been with last night. The man who flirted, teased, and was kind to her, being honest and open while they had sex. Instead, it was Jack being Jack again. He seemed expressionless when he looked at her, although his eyebrows rose. He lifted the coffee to his mouth and took a sip before cradling it in his hands, and leaning his butt against the counter.