Reclaiming the Sand(87)

“Am I doing this right?” Flynn asked after he had started to touch between my legs. He was careful and deliberate, stroking and rubbing with just enough pressure to make my insides turn to jelly.

“Yes,” I moaned as he slowly pushed a finger inside me.

This went on for hours or it could have been only minutes. I had lost track of everything, even time, as Flynn touched me.

Making love with Flynn was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t awkward. Even as he fumbled with the condom. Not sure how to put it on I ended up having to take over, which we both enjoyed thoroughly.

It was his first time so it didn’t last that long. But in those few blissful moments, I felt closer to him than I had ever been with anyone else.

I had been right. What we shared was so much more than sex.

It was an intimacy that came from baring your heart to someone you knew would take care of it.

And he looked at me. Really looked at me. He didn’t hide his face. Our eyes connected and clung to each other just as our bodies clenched together tightly. There was no disappearing. There was no denying what this was.

It was love.

Pure and simple and completely complicated love.

The need to tell him burned my throat; my eyes glassing over with unshed tears as he pressed into me.

But I kept silent. Because words weren’t necessary. The truth was in the way we touched. The way we moved. The way our eyes never looked anywhere but at each other.

Speaking it out loud would only encumber the honesty that couldn’t be communicated with words.

“Flynn…” I said on a sigh, handing him my soul on the breath of his name. He rested his lips in the hollow of my throat, his hands gripping me tightly; sweat drying on our skin as we came back to earth.

I loved him.

I did.

I had never loved anyone before but now I loved with my whole being.

It split me open.

My guts spilled out on the floor at Flynn’s feet.

He owned me. Completely.

There was no coming back from this.

Flynn had reclaimed me.





-Flynn-

Many years ago…



I didn’t talk to Ellie anymore.

She was trying to say something to me in English class and I told her to shut up. Her hair was blue again.

I hated it.

I hated her.

She hurt me.

Her friends called me tard boy when I got to school this morning.

Ellie laughed too but then she said she was sorry to me later.

She always hurt me.

I was tired of feeling sad.

Mom said she wasn’t a real friend and this time I didn’t get mad.

Ellie wasn’t my friend.

She was mean.

I didn’t like mean people.

Why did my chest hurt?



“Please, just talk to me, Flynn!”

I didn’t want to talk to Ellie.

But she was looking sad and I didn’t like her to be sad, like I was sad.

I had to go to the cafeteria and eat my lunch before Stu took it. I was hungry. Mom had packed me chicken salad. It was my favorite.

“I’m sorry! Can I come over?” she asked.

I liked her coming to my house. It made me happy. She wasn’t mean when she was at my house.

“There’s the freak! Freaky Flynn!” Dania yelled and Ellie laughed. She looked at me and her face looked funny.

I got mad.

“You can’t come over! I hate you!” I yelled to Ellie and turned around and ran down the hallway.



I was sad when I went home. I didn’t eat any banana bread and Mom said she was worried about me.

I told her about Ellie and she got upset. She said she was going to call the school and make them do something.

I told her not to.

I didn’t want Ellie to get into trouble.

I told Ellie I hated her but I didn’t hate her.

She still made my stomach feel funny but now she made me sad all the time.

She never laughed anymore.

Mom said she wanted to call the principal. That maybe he could help me. That he’d make sure Stu and Dania and Ellie couldn’t be mean to me anymore.

I liked the sound of that.

I didn’t want Ellie to get into trouble but I didn’t want them being mean to me either.

I said okay. And Mom smiled. She said she’d handle it.



Mom was yelling at me to get up. She was shaking me and I hit her to make her stop.

“Flynn! We have to get out of the house!” she yelled.

I opened my eyes and my room was full of smoke. I started coughing and my eyes stung. It smelled bad. Like when Mom would burn the pot roast.

“Hurry up, Flynn! The house is on fire!” she yelled, shaking me again.

I didn’t like her shaking me but I was scared. The house was on fire. The smoke was bad. I couldn’t breathe.

I coughed and coughed and coughed.

Mom pushed open my door and the smoke was worse in the hallway.

I started crying.

“Where’s Marty?” I yelled but Mom kept telling me to go down the stairs and get outside.

Where was my dog? Where was Marty?

I cried harder and yelled at Mom to find Marty.

She was crying too. We ran out of the house. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes burned. Mom hugged me and I let her.