Protecting Her(42)

I roll the ball to Garret and it hits his leg. He laughs and bats at the ball, rolling it toward me.

“Good job!” I roll it back to him as the phone rings. “I’ll be right back.” I run to the kitchen and grab the phone, taking it back to the family room. “Hello?” I roll the ball to Garret again.

“Rachel, it’s Shelby. Guess what I’m craving now?”

Shelby is four months pregnant. She and Logan got married last spring. They started dating again last November and by December they were engaged. I was shocked when she accepted his proposal. She was so adamant about staying single forever, and then all of a sudden, she agreed to marry him. I’m glad she did. Logan is so good to her. And he’s so excited about the baby. They both are.

I laugh. “I don’t know. I’m going to guess pickles mixed with mac and cheese?”

“No, but close. Pickles spread with peanut butter.”

“Shelby, that’s disgusting.”

“I know, right? I mean, it sounds disgusting but I tried it and it was sooo good.”

“What does Logan think of this? Maybe he should be running tests on you. Maybe you have some kind of nutritional deficiency.”

“He said it’s normal to crave weird combinations of foods, although he was grossed out by the pickles and peanut butter.”

Garret crawls over to me, annoyed that I haven’t pushed the ball back to him. “Mama!”

“Yes, honey, just a minute.”

“Is that Garret?”

“Yes. He wants me to play ball with him.” I’m sitting on the floor and he climbs on me and hugs me.

“He is so cute,” Shelby says. “I love how he gives everyone hugs.”

“I know. He’s a hugger, just like his mom.”

He lets me go and crawls over to get his ball, then bats it toward me, making noises as he does.

“I can’t believe how much he looks like Pearce,” Shelby says.

“Yeah, he looks more and more like him every day.”

“Is Pearce there? Logan wanted to ask him something.”

“No. He’s still at work.”

“What time will he be home? Or should I just have Logan call him at the office?”

“Tell him to call the office. Pearce won’t be home until…” My voice trails off as I watch Garret rolling his basketball back and forth as he says ‘dada’ over and over. He misses his dad. Tears fall down my cheeks as I’m suddenly hit with an overwhelming sadness.

“Rachel, are you still there?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She hears my shaky breaths. “Rachel, what’s wrong?”

“Everything,” I say, sniffling.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…I just…I feel like I’m losing Pearce. And I don’t know what to do about it.” I wipe my tears, but more keep falling. “He works constantly. I never see him. He never sees Garret. This has been going on for months. I can’t keep doing this, Shelby.”

“I didn’t know it was that bad. Have you talked to him?”

“Yes, and he keeps saying he’ll be home more, but then nothing changes. He’s always at work.”

“I’m sorry, Rachel. I don’t know what to tell you.” I hear someone talking in the background. “Logan just got home. He brought dinner. Can I call you back later?”

“Let’s just talk tomorrow. I have to feed Garret and get him to bed.”

“Okay. I’m really sorry, Rachel. Maybe you should try talking to him again.”

“I will. Bye.”

We hang up and I set the phone aside. I shut my eyes, tears pouring down my cheeks.

I feel tiny legs crawling on me as tiny arms go around my waist. “Mama.”

I open my eyes and see Garret hugging me, his eyes sad, a frown on his face. He doesn’t like seeing me cry. And seeing him showing so much compassion at such a young age makes me cry even more. He’s so small, yet he has such a big heart.

“I love you, sweetie.” I pick him up and hug him and kiss his head. I wipe my face, trying to pull myself together. Then I stand up, still holding him. “Mommy’s going to make us some dinner, okay?”

For dinner we have grilled cheese sandwiches and fruit. I cut Garret’s sandwich into mini dinosaur shapes and tell him about dinosaurs as we eat. He may not understand, but I tell him anyway. We have milk and cookies for dessert and then I read him some stories. At eight, I put him to bed.