Precious Consequences(36)

Candice’s hand rests on my knee and she scoots closer to me until her head rests on my shoulder. “Cam,” she says softly. “You can’t allow what happened with dad to prevent you from being in a relationship with someone. What are you afraid of?”

Another question I’m not prepared for. “I’m afraid that once Hayley knows what I did she’ll see me for who I am and then leave.”

Candice frowns. “What happened with daddy was an accident, Cameron,” her voice hitches and I immediately feel guilty for upsetting her. “And mom and I never blamed you, but you’ve never forgiven yourself. You have to see that you are still our Cam, the amazing young man with a heart of gold who just had to grow up much quicker than most other kids your age.”

I wish I could believe her, I really do, but I simply can’t.

“And I think if you really care about Hayley,” Candice continues. “And want to give things a shot with her, then you should trust her enough to tell her everything. If she leaves then you know it wasn’t meant to be, but you won’t know until you tell her the truth.”

Exhaling audibly, I resign myself to the fact that my sister is, once again, right. I have to do this.

I squeeze my sister's hand and look at her, her head still resting on my shoulders. Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, I reply, “Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll tell her.”

Today.



Chapter 12

~ Hayley ~

The house is too quiet. With Ari and my grandmother gone for most of the afternoon, I’ve had time to clean my room, put clean sheets on my bed, organize Ari’s toys alphabetically, wash the dishes and organize my underwear by color. But it only stopped me from thinking about last night’s disastrous girls night out with Taylor, and how it ended with me kissing Cameron in an alley.

I sigh. How did my life end up like this? By agreeing to be friends with Cameron with the full knowledge that it was the worst idea imaginable. We’ve spent the past few weeks skirting around our attraction for each other, going as far as avoiding each other just to make it easier. And it’s been driving me crazy. Last night only proved the extent of my idiocy when Cameron kissed me, and I forgot every logical reason why being just friends was the right decision.

I sit down on the sofa, staring out of the living room bay windows, and put my fingers to my lips as if Cameron’s kiss still lingers. I was so angry with him before, but then his lips brushed mine, his hands made themselves at home all over my body and I forgot that I was angry. When I left the bar I felt confused, overwhelmingly so, and the only thing that soothed my emotionally frazzled state was curling up with Ari as soon as I got home. I took one whiff of her baby scent and felt instantly calmer, like she centers me, brings me back to earth.

When there’s a knock at the door, I startle, after being lost in my own headspace. I get up quickly to open the door, and immediately regret not checking the peephole first. The door swings open and Cameron is standing on the porch. He looks damn fine, as always, in his light blue jeans and plain white t-shirt. Only this time he’s wearing a snug leather jacket to keep out the cooler temperatures that have arrived with fall. My eyes trail up his body and stop on his face. I notice the dark circles under his eyes, giving away the weariness on his face. He looks exhausted.

“Hi,” I almost squeak out. “What are you doing here?”

“Hi,” he replies impishly. “I needed to come see you.”

I step onto the porch and allow the front door to shut behind me. His eyes don’t leave mine and I silently wonder what he’s doing here.

“I’m here to apologize,” he says, answering my unasked question. “For last night.”

“If you’re here to tell me what happened between us last night was a mistake then I’d rather not hear it, Cameron. I’ve had about as much rejection from you as I can handle. The only mistake we made was trying to be friends, when clearly, it just won’t work.”

He looks down, and shakes his head. When he lifts his head again I’m taken aback by the expression on his face. He looks hurt.

“I came to apologize for last night. I was wrong to be there, but I’m glad I was. Nothing can ever make me regret kissing you or make me wish it never happened.”

My throat goes dry and my heart starts racing. I don’t know what to say.

When Cameron realizes I have no intention of responding, he continues. “I also wanted to apologize for how I reacted at the hospital after our first date. I was a - ”

“You were an *,” I interrupt.

“Yes,” he breathes out. “I was. I wanted you to know how sorry I am.”

“It was a while ago, Cam. So just forget about it.”

My head drops, and I stare at my feet. I bite my lip, hoping that Cameron can’t see the array of emotions I’m feeling right now reflected on my face. I don’t think I can handle that. I’ve never been good at being vulnerable and when I’m this close to Cameron, that’s what he does to me; he makes me feel vulnerable, exposed.

I feel his finger under my chin and he lifts my face so that we’re looking at each other.

“That’s just it, Hayley.” His voice is soft and gentle and caressing. “I can’t forget it. It’s not that simple with us. I need to explain a few things.”