Point of Retreat(69)

I look down at my watch. It’s after midnight now. Why haven’t they told me anything yet? I reach into my pocket and take out my wallet. “Here,” I say, handing him some cash. “Bring me a coffee.” Kel takes the money and leaves, just as Gavin walks back into the room. He looks at me for answers, but I just shake my head letting him know I still don’t know anything. He sits down in the seat next to me.

“So Eddie’s okay?” I ask.

“Yeah. She’s bruised up, but she’s okay,” he says.

We’re both quiet for a while. I’m too tired to make small talk. Gavin fills the silent void.

“She’s further along than we thought she was,” he says. “She’s about sixteen weeks. They let us see the baby on a monitor. They’re pretty sure it’s a girl.”



“Oh yeah?” I say. I’m still not sure how Gavin feels about the whole thing, so I refrain from congratulating him. Doesn’t feel like a good situation for congratulations right now, anyway.

“I saw her heart beating,” he says.

“Whose? Eddies?”



He shakes his head and smiles at me. “No. My baby girl’s.” His eyes tear up and he looks away.

I smile. “Congratulations.”



Kel walks into the room with two coffees. He hands me one and plops down in the chair and takes a sip of the other.

“Are you drinking coffee?” I ask him.

He nods. “Don’t try to take it from me, either. I’ll run.”



I laugh. “Okay, then,” I say. I bring the coffee up to my mouth but before I take a sip, Dr. Bradshaw walks in. I jump up and the coffee splashes on my shirt. Or Joel's shirt. Or Gavin’s. Whoever the hell’s shirt I have on, it’s got coffee all over it now.

“Will? Walk with me?” Dr. Bradshaw nudges his head toward the hallway.

“Wait here Kel, I’ll be right back.” I set the coffee down on the table and walk out.

We walk to the end of the hallway before he says anything. I have to brace myself against the wall…I feel like I’m about to collapse.

“She made it through surgery, but we aren’t close to being in the clear yet. She had a lot of bleeding. Some swelling. I did what I could without having to remove a portion of her parietal bone…now all we can do is watch and wait.”



My heart is pounding against my chest. It’s hard to pay attention when I have a million questions on the tip of my tongue. “What is it we’re waiting for? If she made it this far, what are the dangers?”



He leans against the wall next to me. We’re both staring at our feet, almost like he’s trying to avoid looking me in the eyes. I know he has to hate this part of his job. I hate this part of his job. That’s why I don’t look him in the eyes…I feel like maybe it takes the pressure off of him.

“We don’t exactly know the extent of the injuries. We won’t know until we can run scans, but for right now, we’re keeping her under anesthesia. Hopefully by morning we’ll have more of an idea of what we’re dealing with.”



“Can I see her?”



He sighs. “Not yet. She’s in recovery throughout the night. I’ll let you know as soon as they take her to ICU.” He stands up and puts his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. “Do you have any more questions, Will?”



I look him in the eyes. “A million,” I reply.

He takes my response as it was rhetorically intended and he walks away.

***

When I walk back into the room, Gavin is still sitting with Kel. Kel jumps up and rushes to me. “Is she okay?”



“She’s out of surgery,” I say. “But they still won’t know anything until tomorrow.”



“Know anything about what?” Kel asks.

I sit down and motion for Kel to sit down next to me. I pause for a moment so I can find the right words. I want to tell him in a way he’ll understand. “When she hit her head, she hurt her brain, Kel. Until they can do scans, they won’t know if there’s any damage, or how bad it is.”



Gavin stands up. “I’ll go tell Eddie. She’s been hysterical,” Gavin says.

When he leaves the room I soak in the moment. I feel like a weight should be lifted off of my shoulders after finally getting answers, but it doesn’t feel that way at all. It feels worse. I feel so much worse. I just want to see her.