Playing It Safe(88)

“Right. Sorry, I forgot. Anyway, as I was saying, I never thought I’d feel this way again. But it’s different.”

She tilts her head to the side and asks, “Different how?”

“Well with Alex … shit, I don’t even know how to explain it to you. He just is. He’s …”

“He’s what?” she asks and then leans forward so that her face is consuming my screen and not in a cute way.

“Dude, back up, you’re freaking me out.”

She does and immediately asks the same question.

“He’s amazing, Sabrina,” I admit with a sad smile. “I don’t know if it’s because we were friends for a while before we started dating or what, but whatever it was between us was pretty goddamn perfect.”

Her mouth drops open in shock, so I lightly tap the screen with my finger. “Close your mouth; you don’t want flies going in there.”

The initial shock wears off, and Sabrina is all smiles now.

“Why are you smiling like that?” I ask her even though I can already imagine what the hell is going through her head.

“You’re so head over heels in love with him.”

I all of a sudden become interested in a small string hanging from the hem of my T-shirt. Here’s the thing—up until this point, I’ve been telling myself that maybe I’m in love with him, maybe I’m not, back and forth like I’m on a seesaw. However, in the deepest recesses of my mind and heart I know the truth. I am in love with him—head over heels, dedicating songs to each other, in love with him.

“Hey,” she says, trying to get my attention again, “stop trying to ignore me.”

“I’m not ignoring you.”

Then Sabrina’s lips morph into a sneaky smile. “Julia, I’m going to ask you a couple of questions, and you must answer them honestly with the very first thing that comes to mind, okay?”

Rolling my eyes at her attempt to play psychiatrist, I wave my hand at her and tell her to go on. Can you guess what she asks me? Yeah, pretty predictable.

“Are you in love with Alex?”


“Oh, Sabrina, aren’t you the clever one?”

“I learn from the best,” she says sarcastically. “And answer the question.”

I take a quick breath and then exhale, and in a rush of words I say, “Yes. I’m truly, madly, deeply in love with him.”

“Yes!” she exclaims with a fist pump. “I knew it!”

“Shhh, keep your voice down. I don’t want Tyler to come and—”

Too late.

Tyler comes in behind her dressed all in black from head to toe, leaving no room for interpretation of what his favorite color is still. He’s smiling his signature “I’m hot as hell and I totally know it” smile at us. Well, he probably doesn’t call it that, but to me that smile should be branded and is all kinds of trouble.

I wave to the screen halfheartedly. “Hey there, Tyler, I see that you’re still trying to bring sexy back.”

“Julia,” he tries to say with a straight face, “I see that you’re still as blunt as ever.”

Sabrina rolls her eyes and laughs. “Don’t encourage her.”

He bends down and kisses the top of her head. “I only came in because I heard you yell. Is everything all right?”

“It’s far from all right, Tyler,” I say. “In fact, I’d say it couldn’t get much worse.”

He knits his eyebrows together and looks at Sabrina. She shakes her head in a dismissive fashion and then says, “Don’t listen to her. She’s being dramatic because she’s heartbroken, but she won’t be for long.”

“Would you stop with that?” I say to her. “You’re embarrassing me in front of your man.”

“You have got to be kidding me. You’re telling me to stop after the countless times you’ve embarrassed me in public? Oh, hell to the no!”

Tyler looks between us and shakes his head. “Okay then, I can see that I’m not needed here.”

He turns on his heel and leaves the room as quickly as he appeared.

I start to laugh because she’s totally right. Me, Ms. Big Mouth herself, telling her to stop embarrassing me is definitely a sign that things are changing in my life. So what do I do? I let her bask in the glory that for once she has the upper hand on me.

She stops her gloating as I come down from my laughing fit. “Seriously, Julia, you need to talk to him. Be honest and don’t hold back. Tell him what you told me, and I guarantee you everything will be fine.”

“You really think so, Sabrina?”

“I know so,” she says. “I pinky swear.”

She raises her hand to the screen and wiggles her pinky finger at me. I smile in spite of myself and do the same thing back at her, hoping that she’s right.

After we disconnect the session, I pick up my cell phone. Alex’s name is the first one that shows up on my contact list, but I’m probably the last person he wants to hear from right now. Even after Sabrina’s pep talk, I’m still too much of a coward to reach out to him. Then again, something like this should be done face-to-face.

Yes, that’s it. That’s the excuse that I’m going to go with for yet again tucking my tail and running away from the very best thing that’s ever happened to me.