Playing It Safe(32)

I shoot a confused look at Lisette. “I thought you said you told her?”

“I didn’t give her all the details,” she says.

I roll my eyes while Lisette then proceeds to fill Sarah quickly in on everything that transpired with Alex over the weekend. When she’s done, she adds, “So now this one”—she nods toward me—“doesn’t know how to not screw this up.”

“Hello, I’m sitting right here,” I say, annoyed.

“Well it’s true! That’s pretty much what you said before Sarah got here.”

I sigh in exasperation and cover my face with my hands. When I look at them through my fingers, they are practically bouncing in their seats with glee.

“This was a bad idea,” I say quietly. Neither of them answers; I didn’t expect them to. I think mostly because they can tell I’m at my wits’ end.

“Ladies, how old are we? Seriously, I mean it. We’re behaving like a bunch of teenyboppers. I’m almost thirty. Lisette, who knows how the f*ck old you are, but I bet it’s old enough to remember where you were when Kennedy was shot. And Sarah, well you’re too cute to know any better, no offense.”


“None taken,” Sarah chirps with a wave of her hand.

“Well, I’m offended!” Lisette shouts. “I’m not old enough to remember that, but I am old enough to tell you to keep your skinny ass in that seat and listen to us for a change. You wanted help, dammit, so you’re going to get it.”

“My ass isn’t that skinny,” I point out while lifting one butt cheek off the seat to look at it. It’s not, I swear. It’s a size six, sometimes eight, depending on what store I go into to shop. You all know how that goes.

The room falls silent again after Lisette’s outburst. When they start to chatter amongst themselves, I take the opportunity to grab my mug of coffee, and I notice the time. I’ve been at work for all of forty-five minutes and have not accomplished a single thing.

“Okay, I’ve brought her up to speed,” Lisette says. “Now we’ve got a few questions for you, and you have to answer them truthfully.”

I reluctantly nod.

“No, not good enough,” Sarah says. “You have to swear.”

“Ha! Like this one?” I laugh while pointing to Lisette. “She swore she wouldn’t tell anyone, yet here you are.”

“Like I wasn’t going to tell Sarah about all of this? Por favor, Julia.”

I give Lisette the evil eye and at the same time swear that I will answer their questions honestly. They look at each other and mumble over who’s going to go first. “Seriously, ladies, I don’t have all day. Can we move this along?”

Lisette speaks up. “I’ll go first then. Do you like Alex?”

“Really? Is that the best you got? Will you pass him a note in study hall for me if I say yes?” I mock while clasping my hands together under my chin and batting my eyelashes like a lovesick teenager.

“If you want me to, I will,” Sarah answers seriously. Poor kid, she’s just along for the ride.

Lisette chuckles before clearing her throat. “Just answer the question for us, if you don’t mind.”

“Fine. I do. I like him, okay. Are you happy now?”

“Not yet,” she says. “But at least we’re getting somewhere.”

“My turn.” Sarah’s voice goes all giddy. “Why didn’t you sleep with him yesterday?”

“Sorry, I can’t answer that. Next question.”

When they finally figure out I’m not budging on this, Lisette puts her hand up as if she’s in a classroom, and the idiot that I am points at her like I’m the teacher keeping these two in line.

“Then answer this one instead. Do you want to sleep with him?”

With a nonchalant eye roll, I answer as unaffected as possible. “Yeah, so? Have you seen him? I bet anyone within a five-mile radius who has a pulse and a vagina would answer that question in the same exact way. So that doesn’t prove a damn thing.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Lisette singsongs.

Sarah raises her hand quickly in the air, and I point at her. “Well, I for one would definitely sleep with him.”

“Thank you for that information, Sarah,” I acknowledge with a smile. “I’ll be able to sleep a little better tonight knowing that.”

Lisette smacks Sarah’s arm and tells her to shut up, then looks in my direction with a determined grin. “You can say whatever you want, Julia, but we all know that there’s more to this thing with Alex than you’re letting on. And you know what? That’s totally fine, but between me and Sarah, we’re going to make this happen.”

They give each other a high five as I’m bringing the heels of my hands to my eyes. I rub them hard, probably ruining my slack-ass makeup job that I did this morning in a rush to get out of the house. When I pull them away from my face, I mumble, “You sound just like Alex.”

“What did he say?” Sarah asks, and they both lean forward, waiting on bated breath for me to explain.

“He said that whatever it is between us is going to happen, and then he said … I can’t tell you what else he said.”

“Bullshit, you can’t!” Lisette almost roars.