Playing It Safe(27)

Oh, shut up! I already know, and you’re right, I should have known better than to take the tour that would lead to his bedroom. Don’t you think I know that I was about five minutes away from showing him the granny panties? Trust me, I do, I soooo do.

“Julia?” Alex calls out to me from the living room.

“I’ll be right there.”

Fuck shit, f*ck shit, f*ckity f*ck shit!

Okay. I’m just going to go back out there and play it off as a moment of weakness, have dinner with him, and then I’ll get the hell out of here.

I start toward the bedroom door, giving myself a quick pep talk before reaching the hallway: Julia, you CAN do this. You will NOT sleep with him.

Yes you will.

No I won’t.

Yes you will.

“No, I won’t!”

“Did you say something?” Alex asks, stepping into the hallway just a few feet away from me.

“Nope, I’m coming,” I lie, quickly recovering and striding with fake confidence right past him.

You bet your ass you will. In more ways than one.





CHAPTER TEN


I’m not used to being this anxious. Men in general don’t usually make me nervous. Dating has always been a natural progression kind of thing for me. Perhaps it’s from growing up outnumbered in the male department that helped shape this part of me—two brothers and my dad, versus my mom and me. However I got to be so comfortable around the guys has been a blessing in the past. I’ve been able to hold a conversation and be charming and funny without a second thought. So this thing with Alex that I’m feeling is something entirely foreign to me.

Let me paint a picture for you.

He’s sitting to my left at the kitchen island. Open Chinese food cartons are lined up in front of us, and we’re eating straight out of them. When we decided that, I have no idea because I was too busy scheming in my head how I was going to get out of here unscathed. For once, I thank the Lord above that my hair can act as a veil and covers the side of my face that he’s currently boring holes into with his eyes. On top of all of that, I’m having the worst time with these goddamn chopsticks, because guess what, I grew up eating with a freaking fork and spoon.

“Are you going to ignore me the rest of the night?” Alex asks while reaching over to grab an open carton.

I manage to get some rice onto my chopsticks, and it slides right off just as he’s sitting back down. “Who, me?”

“Yes, you,” he says.

I’m about this close to stabbing myself in the eye with these things, so I chuck them into the carton and put it down on the countertop. Under my breath, I let loose a couple of curse words in frustration that cause him to laugh. Oh, this is funny, is it? Actually, I’m sure he thinks all of this is rather amusing, judging by the smirk on his face and relaxed demeanor that I can see from the corner of my eye.

“I’m so glad you find all of this funny,” I say.

“I wouldn’t say funny so much as fun watching you get all frustrated because you’re nervous. To be honest, it’s quite endearing,” he says.

No better time than the present to get it all out in the open between us. Because this, whatever the hell this is, can’t go any farther than a kiss.

I pivot in my seat, and he puts down his chopsticks to give me his undivided attention.

“Alex, this is a very bad idea.”

I know, so original, but it’s sweet, short, and to the point.

He puts his carton on the countertop and turns so that he’s facing me with a confused look on his face. When he opens his mouth to say something, which I know will be something along the lines of “You’re wrong,” or, “This is a very good idea,” I raise my hand to get him to stop before he even starts.

“God knows we’ve been flirting and dancing around each other for months toward something, and by something, obviously I mean f*cking each other’s brains out. And as much as I’m dying of curiosity, I can’t go there with you because I don’t want it to ruin our friendship. Secondly, there’s that little thing you’ve got going with Marisa. Your niece did tell me that she’s not your girlfriend or anything, and that’s great news. Because I have to be honest, as your friend, she is so not your type, and you could do a hell of a lot better. But regardless of all that, she clearly thinks there is something other than friendship between the two of you, and I don’t want to be the catalyst for having her figure out that there isn’t. Thirdly, I don’t really know much about you other than what you let me see. I mean, today is the very first time I’ve gotten any kind of glimpse into outside-of-work Alex. Don’t get me wrong, at-work Alex is a real turn-on, and so is outside-of-work Alex for that matter, but that’s beside the point. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t really know enough about you to jump into bed with you.”

He looks completely unfazed by my mini rant. If anything, he looks even more amused by everything that came flying out of my mouth.

“Is that all of it?” he asks.

“You know what,” I add, a little irritated by his casual response, “no, it’s not all of it. I forgot to mention how you once tried to hook up with my best friend. Without going into details of how strange it is to make out with someone who has made out with my best friend—yeah, she tells me everything—I don’t want to be anyone’s sloppy seconds.”