Only You (Adair Family #5)(79)

The stairs creaked beneath his heavy footsteps as he followed me up.

With a glance over my shoulder as I walked across the hall, my stomach somersaulted at the heated intensity etched harshly across Brodan’s face. He almost seemed like a stranger, and yet his expression excited the hell out of me. Goose bumps scattered down my spine, and my breasts felt suddenly heavy.

My breathing increased as I moved into the bedroom and crossed to the window to close the blinds. A soft light filled the dark room, and I turned to see Brodan had switched on one of the bedside lamps.

I felt nervous. It wasn’t like traveling back to when we were eighteen and I couldn’t believe all my teenage dreams were coming true. Too much time had worn over us like sandpaper, reshaping us, changing us into something made from the same material as before, but … different. Corners had been shaved off, and experiences had rubbed away the polish of youth and naiveté.

And yet, I still wanted this new version of Brodan as much as I’d ever wanted the boy I’d loved all those years ago. Tears swam in my eyes as I gazed across the room at him, seeing my thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

“It hurts,” he whispered hoarsely. “How much time we’ve lost.”

I nodded. “I know.”

Brodan let out a shuddering breath as he crossed the room to clasp my face in his hands and pressed his forehead to mine. “I don’t want to lose anymore,” he said raggedly against my lips.

“I … I can’t make promises,” I told him with quiet honesty. “But I want to try. I’ll regret it for my whole life if I don’t.”

He lifted his head to stare into my eyes. “We don’t have to … tonight. If it feels like too much.”

I gave him a wry smile. “It always feels like too much with you, Brodan.”

The corner of his mouth tilted up. “Aye, with you too.”

Then, before I could stop the words, I blurted, “What do you see in me?”

My cheeks heated with embarrassment that I’d allowed the insecure question to escape. However, I’d harbored it for months. When we were kids, I never really blamed myself for Brodan supposedly not returning my feelings. I think I’d known him so well that deep down, I’d always believed he kept a distance romantically because he was afraid to love me like that. That I wasn’t the problem. But now … knowing he was used to traveling the world, experiencing extraordinary things, and having endured the stupid and painful task of googling him and all his glamorous casual women, I couldn’t help but feel that a petite primary school teacher who had only ever traveled out of the country once didn’t exactly measure up.

Brodan’s eyebrows rose at my query.

“Never mind.” I laughed, embarrassed. “Stupid question. I’m awesome, of course. Why wouldn’t you want me?”

He saw through my false bravado, his hands sliding down my neck and across my shoulders. “I see a woman who has endured pain since she was a child with a strength that humbles me.”

I tensed.

But Brodan forged ahead, his tone growing more passionate. “I see a woman who protects those she thinks can’t protect themselves, who finds genuine pleasure in molding the minds of children who would test most people’s patience if they had to be around that many on a daily basis.”

I chuckled because that was true.

Brodan smiled at the sound of my laughter, but he never lost his intensity as he continued, “I see a woman who has put herself before others to the detriment of her own well-being. I see a woman who is the greatest friend, the most loyal friend, who can talk about the weird and wonderful for hours, or, if you need it, can create the biggest shoulder to lean on out of the tiny one she carries.” He leaned down to press a kiss to said shoulder, and I had to blink back tears at his tenderness.

When he raised his head, he whispered, “I see a good woman I don’t deserve … but then I’ve always been a selfish bastard, and when I want something, I rarely care if I deserve it.”

“Brodan.”

“Now let me show you all the ways I want you, my love.”

Anticipation flooded my belly, and I nodded mutely.

He searched my face and bent to press the gentlest kiss to my forehead, then the corner of my right eye. “You have new freckles on your forehead and one right there on the corner of your eye,” he whispered hoarsely, sounding almost pained. “It bothers me more than I can stand that I don’t know when they first appeared.”

“Brodan,” I whispered tearfully. “Stop making me cry. It’s not sexy right now.”

He laughed against my lips and lightly brushed his mouth across mine. I reached into it, wanting more, but he held back. “I noticed the ones on your stomach are still there.”

“What?” I murmured, feeling pulled into a daze of imprisoned lust.

“Your freckles on your stomach. When we were teenagers, sometimes your top would ride up, and I’d see those freckles and think about exploring every single one. Fuck, you have no idea how many times I had to hide a stiffy from you.”

I gave a bark of laughter. “I didn’t know.”

He grinned. “I know. You were adorably innocent.”

My smile felt almost sultry. “If you move this along a bit, you might find I’m not innocent anymore.”