Only You (Adair Family #5)(23)

Arran and I were as close as any brothers could be, and I missed him, too, but it was different with Roe. At least I knew Arran was there, keeping an eye on her.

He wasn’t the only one, though.

I sipped at my beer, looking casual to the outside observer, when, in fact, my heart was fucking racing, every nerve end screaming. All because Monroe had invited some friends of hers from the University of Highlands and Islands where she studied in Inverness. One of them was all over her. Roe wore jeans and a tight-fitting Killers T-shirt that molded perfectly to her body. My girl might be short, but she had curves that had been driving me crazy since we were fifteen. Everything about Monroe was beautiful. Not just her body, her masses of red hair, or those gray eyes … but her soul. She was the kindest, strongest, most loyal person I’d ever known. Too good for me, or anyone, for that matter.

Including the arsehole she’d brought from uni who kept touching her hip, even though Roe stepped away every time he did.

“You sure you two are just friends?” Arran’s voice yanked my attention from Roe and the arsehole.

I frowned at my brother. “Of course,” I lied. Well, it wasn’t really a lie. Was the day I’d made her come in the castle turret burned in my brain? Aye. Every bloody detail. It had taken every ounce of control two summers ago not to make love to her that afternoon. Sometimes, that day plays like a masochistic film over and over in my mind. Sometimes I fantasize we had sex.

But I hadn’t lied to Roe that day. I couldn’t be with her like that. If I thought it was painful to be away from her now, imagine what it would be like if she was mine completely, and then something took her away.

I rubbed my chest at the thought.

“You sure?” Arran pushed. “Because you’re staring at Luca like you want to rip off his head.”

“Who?”

“Luca. The bloke she’s talking to.”

I studied Arran. I forgot he knew all of Roe’s friends because he got to spend more time with her. To our dad’s displeasure, Arran had decided against university and was instead flailing, directionless. To be honest, I was worried about him. But at least he had Roe in his life. I had hoped she’d keep him from getting into too much trouble. “Roe and I are just friends,” I reiterated. “Christ, I’ve known her since we were five. It isn’t like that between us.” The image of her flushed, her eyes bright as they stared up into mine in wonder as she climaxed around my fingers, flashed through my mind. My skin heated at the memory, and I chugged back more beer.

“So why do you want to kill Luca?”

“I know Roe.” I shrugged. “She doesn’t want this guy’s hands on her. I’m keeping an eye. I would do the same for Arro.”

“You have done the same for Arro and worse,” Arran reminded me, chuckling.

It was true.

Thane had put me and Arran in charge of intimidating our wee sister’s would-be boyfriends when she started dating. One, we thought she was too young to date, but since we couldn’t be hypocrites and stop her from dating at the age we started having sex, we took the other path. We didn’t want her seeing anyone who wasn’t strong enough to stand against the disapproval of her four big brothers. I grinned. “Anyone new we need to intimidate?”

“Nah. She seems to have given up for a while. Focusing on school.”

“Good.” My gaze drew back to Roe. I hadn’t seen her in weeks. I wanted her over here with me. She said something to Luca the Arsehole and then disappeared out of the room. Probably to use the bathroom. The urge to follow her was real, but with Arran watching me, I didn’t want to give him proof that I’d lied earlier.

Instead I turned to talk with him and the group of friends he’d invited to the castle. Our dad never cared when we had people over, and even though he hadn’t seen me in weeks, he’d barely made an appearance. He greeted me last night when I showed up and then fucked off.

I couldn’t say it didn’t hurt, but I was used to it.

I knew my dad loved me. Loved us all. He just … it was like this huge part of him died when Mum died, so only half of him was here with us.

That was messed up.

Which was exactly why I planned to avoid that ever happening to me.

I felt it the moment Monroe came back into the room, and I willed her to come over to me. When minutes passed and she didn’t, I chanced a glance over my shoulder and searched the crowd. Luca had her practically pinned in the corner.

Was she seeing him, then?

Was that why she hadn’t come near me?

A rush of red-hot indignation and hurt flushed through me.

Jealousy.

Aye, it wasn’t the first time I’d felt the burn of that emotion.

In fact, it was jealousy that had driven me to touch Monroe when we were seventeen. When she told me she’d lost her virginity to Phil Forrester, I honestly wanted to hunt him down and rip off his goddamn head. It was bad enough she’d been dating the prick, every second torture, but to know that she’d slept with him …

I was still impressed with how calm and cool I’d acted when she told me, considering the turmoil going on inside me.

Then, when she explained how he’d treated her, I was pissed off for a different reason. I wanted to show her that sex was supposed to be great. The problem was, I’d learned a huge lesson I couldn’t seem to shake—I’d never been with someone I loved before. It was better than great. With Monroe, it was a rush unlike anything I’d experienced. She was all I could see, feel, think about. It was the sexiest moment of my life. In fact, it had taken more willpower than I knew I had to pull myself away from her.