Only You (Adair Family #5)(24)

I had no right to be jealous of anyone Monroe slept with, considering I was pretty much the opposite of a monk. But I was jealous, nonetheless.

She’d always feel like mine.

Even if she’d never be mine.

Fuck.

I chugged back more beer and was about to look away from her for good when I saw her push Luca’s hand away. He pressed her into the wall, and fury overtook me. One second I was standing cool and collected with a beer in my hand. The next I’d shoved the beer at Arran, jumped over the couch, and crossed the room in seconds to pull the fuckwit off my best friend.

“You want him touching you, Roe?” I asked, shoving him so hard he had to stop himself from falling.

Monroe’s face was flushed, her eyes glassy with alcohol and bright with irritation. “That would be a no.”

“Problem here?” Arran appeared at our side.

“Aye. This prick needs an escort off the property.”





We walked Luca and one of his buddies off the estate. The arsehole tried to taunt me into a fight by saying sexual shit about Roe. If it hadn’t been for Arran, I probably would have buried the bastard.

To say my adrenaline was up by the time we returned to the small party was an understatement. Arran strolled back into the room and over to the girl he was chatting up, while I immediately sought Roe. She wasn’t here.

Frowning, I checked the bathroom and couldn’t find her. Then the kitchen at the back of the castle downstairs, though I doubted she was there. The only other room on this floor she was as familiar with was my room, so I headed in that direction.

Sure enough, light poured from under the crack in the door. Our bedrooms in this wing of the castle were pretty massive. They were also difficult to heat, so I knew it had to be bloody cold in there.

Stepping inside, I paused at the threshold to find Monroe sprawled across my bed on her back, her long, loose red curls spread across my sheets. Swallowing hard at the thrumming in my blood, I crossed the room to her. Her tee had risen, showing off her flat stomach. Little freckles scattered sporadically across her skin.

I wanted to kiss every single one.

Dragging my gaze to hers, I found her staring at me through low-lidded eyes. Her cheeks flushed. I smirked. “Had too much to drink, Sunset?”

“Maybe,” she murmured and then giggled.

I loved that sound.

Clenching my hands into fists, I sat beside her and patted her knee. “Maybe you should sit up before you pass out.”

With a groan, she did, but then rested her head on my shoulder. Her perfume tickled my nose, and I rubbed my hands on my thighs to force them to keep to themselves.

“Sorry about Luca.”

I tensed at the reminder. “Just tell me if you have anymore problems with that guy, okay? I know I’m not here all the time, but Arran is.”

“I know.” She sighed heavily and then slurred her words a little as she confessed, “I miss you so much.”

Taking her hand in mine, I laced our fingers together. “I miss you too.”

Lifting her head from my shoulder, she looked up at me, and I turned to meet her gaze. My fingers tightened on hers at the adoring expression on her face. “I love you, Brodan.”

Panic suffused me for a split second until I chuckled, forcing myself to play dumb. “I love you too, Roe.”

Her brow puckered, her nose wrinkling in that cute way of hers. “Nooo.”

“No?” I teased, trying to keep the moment light.

“No.” She rested her chin on my shoulder now, her eyes huge. “I’m in love with you.”

Fuck.

My heart hammered hard, racing toward her all while speeding away, as euphoria and dread filled me in equal measure.

“And I know you’re not ready for that, but I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten what you said … and I’m waiting for you. I’ll wait for you to be ready. To work through what loss has done to you until you’re ready to be brave. To be with me. One day, loving someone like your dad loved your mum won’t scare you, Brodan. And I’ll be here. I want to be the someone you love like that.”

Pain cracked through my chest.

That was what I got for telling this girl everything.

And it hurt that she thought time would conquer my fears.

Before I could say anything, she reached up, cupping my cheek tenderly, before she pressed her soft mouth to mine.

For a moment, I was weak.

Because I loved Monroe Sinclair more than I loved anybody in this world.

I kissed her back. Just one more taste, I told myself.

But then I felt her chilled hands slide under my T-shirt, jolting me back to reality.

In my panic to end this, to stop her from wasting her life waiting for me, I immediately blurted out the lie, “I met someone at uni. I have a serious girlfriend.”

Monroe jerked back in shock, expression wounded and horrified.

Then she promptly threw up at my feet.





9





Monroe





PRESENT DAY





* * *



I always got butterflies on parents’ evenings. When I first started teaching, I didn’t. But over the years, I discovered you really never know what you’re going to get when a parent walks into your classroom to discuss their child. Unless, of course, they were a helicopter parent and were constantly phoning the school to catalogue their child’s needs as if I didn’t have other children in my classroom. I wanted to give all the kids exactly what they needed, but that was impossible when I was one person teaching twenty children all at once. I did my best, and I was proud to say that I really gave them everything I had.