One To Watch(73)

She hated the awkwardness of dismissing only him, especially since he’d been so sweet to her. But she couldn’t deny how much closer she felt with the other four men.

“Can I walk you out?” she asked, conforming to Lauren’s dictates. She was meant to accompany Jefferson to the riad’s entrance, say a brief—and hopefully emotional!—farewell, then see him off as he got into a car that would take him to the airport and out of Bea’s life forever (or, at least, until the reunion show).

But Jefferson didn’t seem very interested in acting according to plan. He was shaking slightly—maybe with laughter?—his eyes hard and narrow.

“Are you kidding? You think you can do better than me? Trust me, Bea, I’ve never had a problem getting a girlfriend—and none of them have ever looked like you.”

Bea shook her head in confusion. “No, I—Jefferson, it’s not a matter of better, it’s about what I want for my future—”

“And what you want is to go live on a farm in Oklahoma? That’s your dream? Please, Bea. You’re a fat hypocrite—I guess that’s half a revelation.”

Bea stopped cold. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me.” He stalked toward her, taking his time, savoring that all eyes were on him. “Now that I’m out of the competition, I guess I can finally be honest with you—good thing, too, since no one else has been.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, her voice unsteady.

“What I’m talking about, Bea, is the fact that none of the men in this room is remotely interested in you. Least of all me.”

Bea shot a glance over at the other men, but Jefferson kept going.

“Sure, they talk a good game, but you’ve never seen them without the cameras rolling. You have no idea the horrible jokes they make about you, the way they laugh at your expense. How could you? You’re so desperate for love that you’ll believe any nice thing a man says to you. It’s sad, Bea. And it’s probably pretty great television. But at some point, you’ve got to wake up and face the fact that you are the only person on this show who actually believes that any of these men could fall in love with you.”

“You’re lying.” Bea felt the first tears coming. “If none of you were interested in me, why would you even stay on this show?”

Jefferson laughed. “Are you stupid? The longer we stick around, the more likely it is that one of us will be the next Main Squeeze! Don’t you think it’s worth it, pretending to like you for a few hours a week to increase our odds of having twenty-five women compete for us? And you made it so easy, Bea, you really did. Honestly, you bought that I didn’t want to kiss you last week because there were kids around? How gullible can you be? I was just putting off getting physical with you for as long as possible.”

“Stop”—Bea was shaking—“please stop.”

“I think in time you’ll come to see that I’m doing you a favor. No one in your life is honest with you—that’s how you ended up on this show in the first place, got tricked into being a national laughingstock. So take it from me: You’re not single because you’re focused on your career, or because you’re pining after unavailable men, or subconsciously trying to protect your heart because some kids made fun of you in elementary school, or whatever bullshit you tell yourself. You know why no man wants to be seen with you in public? It’s not that hard to figure out. You know what’s standing between you and marriage? About eighty pounds.”

Bea didn’t know what to do, where to go. She stepped backward and nearly tripped on the hem of her dress, wobbling in her high heels.

“Bea,” Wyatt stepped forward, “don’t listen to him, it’s not true—”

“No,” Bea yelped, and Jefferson laughed. She hated herself for crying in front of these men she’d finally started to trust, but who could just as easily be using her, same as Jefferson, same as Ray, same as always. She couldn’t be here, couldn’t take this. Couldn’t spend one more second on this set where her existence was one big joke, the setup her fatness and the punch line her loneliness.

“Excuse me, I—excuse me.” She choked out the words and left the living room as fast as her high heels could carry her, then blindly stumbled up the stairs back to her room and slammed the door.





EPISODE 6


“DECLARATION”


(4 men left)


Shot on location in New York, New York,

Boone, Oklahoma,

Middlebury, Vermont,

Newark & Short Hills, New Jersey


TRANSCRIPT OF CHAT FROM #SQUEEZE-MAINIACS SLACK CHANNEL


NickiG: I WANT JEFFERSON TO DIE

Beth.Malone: He will eventually

NickiG: NOT SOON ENOUGH

Enna-Jay: Has anything like this ever happened before?? That was … awful

KeyboardCat: I mean, there’s never been a plus-size person on this show before, so no, not really.

Enna-Jay: Can Bea just leave? SHOULD she?

KeyboardCat: No!! She still has good guys left!!

Beth.Malone: That’s a hot take, Cat

KeyboardCat: I believe!! #TeamAsher

Beth.Malone:

Colin7784: jeez, you guys have been right this whole time

Beth.Malone: Yes definitely. About what?