One To Watch(69)

“Yeah—I know most of the girls on this show are pretty marriage-minded, but that hasn’t been me. At all. And as much as I’ve said I’m ready for marriage, I haven’t really given any man the chance to form a real relationship, let alone get engaged.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Bea shrugged. “The easy answer is that I’ve been focused on my career—and that’s true, I have.”

“And the harder answer?” Jefferson gave her a knowing look.

“I guess …” Bea stopped, then pushed herself to go on. If this could be her only chance to figure out whether there might be potential for something real with this man, she owed it to him—and herself—to try to be vulnerable.

“Growing up, I was always wary of boys. When I was little, kids in elementary school were so cruel—even in high school, they treated me like a joke, you know? I didn’t really date until college, and guys there were happy to sleep with me—just not to be seen with me in public. After that, I think I really shied away from putting myself out there. I would fall in love with these unavailable people, and tell myself it was my own bad luck, but the truth is, maybe I was just trying to avoid finding something real, because it still scared me so much.”

“And now?” Jefferson looked into her eyes. “Are you still afraid?”

“Hell yeah, I am.” Bea laughed softly. “This show is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But also—I see all this potential, and it’s thrilling. Like I’m flying off the side of this mountain and taking it on faith that it’ll somehow be okay.”

“Maybe you’ll land on happily ever after,” Jefferson quipped.

“Yeah?” Bea smiled. “What would that look like?”

“Well”—Jefferson draped an arm over her shoulders as they turned to admire the view—“it’d be you and me, a big house with a yard, a dog for sure—you like dogs?”

“I love dogs.” Bea grinned.

“Thank God.” Jefferson faked intense relief. “So us, the house, the dog, a couple of kids, road trips on the weekend to a cool barbecue joint or a national park. Friends coming over for game nights, smoking wings and brisket for football Sundays, getting old, being happy. You know, life.”

“That sounds pretty good.” Bea leaned against Jefferson’s chest, and he pulled her in to face him.

“So since there are no kids or relatives around,” he said with a grin, “do you think it’d be okay if I kissed you?”

There was absolutely no reason not to kiss him—but something in Bea still hesitated, still didn’t feel quite right.

“It’s okay, Bea,” Jefferson said gently. “You don’t have to stand in your own way anymore. You can let yourself be happy.”

Bea nodded yes, and as he leaned in to kiss her—a gentle kiss, respectful and sweet—Bea still wasn’t sure if she really saw a future with Jefferson, but she did know that she loved the big, solid certainty of him, the way that when he held her, they just fit.

And it felt really, really nice.

After Bea went back to the main staging area, she climbed into another 4x4 beside Asher, who didn’t seem any happier to see Bea than he had that morning. They rode in silence to a spectacular waterfall, water spilling over a jagged cliff and thundering into a deep green pool below, then hiked in equal silence to the edge of a copper-hued rock formation, where soft mist cast in rainbow prisms floated across their bodies. It was one of the most romantic places Bea had ever been, but Asher would barely look at her. She’d spent all week looking forward to being alone with him, reliving their Ohio kiss in her memory, and now he was acting like she’d done something to offend him—only, as she hadn’t seen him, she couldn’t imagine what that might be.

“Hey!” she shouted over the noise of the falls. “Is everything okay?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, his back still toward her.

She grabbed his arm—he turned in surprise. “Can you at least look at me?”

He did, but his expression was hard, his manner guarded.

“Are you stressed about your kids?” she asked. “Whatever it is, can we please just talk about it?”

Asher’s jaw tensed. “Did you sleep with Luc last night?”

“What?” Bea felt like she’d been slapped in the face.

“He and I are roommates in the riad,” Asher said curtly, and Bea’s stomach dropped. “He left the room around midnight, and didn’t come back until four. When I asked where he’d been, he smiled and said he was with you.”

Bea flushed crimson. So not only was Asher furious, now the one private moment she’d had with a man all season long was going to be a major plot point of this week’s episode.

“I don’t like asking you to air your private business on television,” Asher said, “but if you’re going to meet my children, I think I have a right to know what happened.”

“Really?” Bea pushed back. “Because I’m having trouble seeing how one thing relates to the other.”

“Bea, I haven’t introduced anyone to my kids since their mother left. You think I’d let you meet them if you’re not taking this seriously?”

“You think I’d want to? Come on, Asher. I’m not a monster, I don’t want to drag your kids into a limelight you don’t want them in—I would never ask that of you, period, let alone if I didn’t think—”