One To Watch(22)

——Forwarded Message——

FROM: Beth Malone <[email protected]>

TO: Colin Whitman <[email protected]>

SUBJECT: Re: TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!



Yes, Colin, I am happy. Thank you!





——Forwarded Message——

FROM: Ray Moretti <[email protected]>

TO: Bea Schumacher <[email protected]>

SUBJECT: wow



Hey, so, you’re on the cover of People magazine. And you’re going on TV, to find a husband? Bea, what’s happening?

I know I haven’t responded to your emails. I’m sorry, that’s on me. It’s just, I’ve been trying so hard not to think about you, which is impossible enough on its own, but now with your face staring out at me from all over the internet, and TV, and even the grocery checkout line … I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.

You look incredible, by the way. You should know that. I hope you know that. When I see these assholes talking about you, I want to fucking kill them.

I’m sorry, I know I’m not being articulate here. You’re one of the most important people in my life, Bea. When my mom got sick, you’re the one who got me through it. Every good thing in my life, every bad thing, you’re always the person I want to tell. I love Sarah, I really do. I want to marry her. Or, I don’t know, I thought I did. But seeing your face everywhere … I don’t know. Can we talk, Bea? I really want to talk.



——Forwarded Message——

FROM: Bea Schumacher <[email protected]>

TO: Ray Moretti <[email protected]>

SUBJECT: AUTOMATIC RESPONSE re: wow



Hi there! This is a weird thing to say, but I’m off filming a television show right now and have no access to my phone, email, or social media (or daylight, probably). If this is business-related, you can reach my agent, Olivia Smythson, at smythson [email protected]. If this is personal (or a hideous death threat!!), I look forward to digging through my inbox and getting back to you once the shoot wraps at the end of April. Have a great day!





“What do you think?”

Bea was standing before an oversized mirror in the wardrobe room, where Alison had placed her in a navy Zac Posen jumpsuit with long sleeves, flowing legs, a ruffled collar, and a plunging neckline, all woven through with sparkling thread that gleamed copper and silver and gold, making Bea shimmer like a galaxy. With her makeup soft and romantic (and caked on thick enough to withstand hot lights and high-def cameras) and her hair in glossy waves, Bea almost felt like the television star she was about to become.

“I think you’re a magician,” she said breathlessly, and Alison beamed.

“Okay!” Lauren clapped her hands as she strode into the room. “Let’s see our Main Squeeze.”

Bea did a little twirl for Lauren, who grinned with approval. “This is perfect!”

Lauren herself looked game-day ready in her uniform of skinny jeans with a white tee, black blazer, and heels, her auburn hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail.

“You good to go?” she asked Bea. “Time to head to set!”

“What happens if I say no?” Bea’s heart started pounding as it sank in that this was really happening. Had she been completely insane to say yes? What if the whole adventure was an unmitigated disaster?

“It’s gonna be a piece of cake,” Lauren assured Bea as she guided her toward the makeshift studio the crew had constructed on the mansion’s front lawn. “I know it’s your first time doing anything like this, but this is my fifth season running this show, and Johnny could host a Main Squeeze premiere in his sleep.”

The host of Main Squeeze, Johnny Ducey, was an erstwhile teen heartthrob (he’d famously mauled hearts in the fantasy Shakespeare crossover Whither the Werewolf?). After several public bouts with addiction and subsequent stints in rehab, he’d settled into his lucrative and unchallenging work on Main Squeeze, where, it was rumored, he’d slept with female contestants more than once. After so many years watching him conduct earnest interviews with assorted reality stars, it was wild for Bea to contemplate that, in a matter of minutes, she’d be the one sitting opposite him.

“Let’s run down the schedule one more time,” Lauren continued. “Act 1 is the video package introducing you to America, then your interview with Johnny—that’s eight minutes total. Then we cut to commercial—”

“And then we intro the first five men,” Bea broke in, reciting the call sheet she’d memorized by rote. “Another break, another five men, another break, and so on until I’ve met all twenty-five of them. Then they all put on noise-canceling headphones while I give my impressions of them, then I put on noise-canceling headphones while they give their impressions of me.”

Bea paused here as she tried to stave off a wave of nausea—why exactly had she agreed to let a bunch of strange men judge her on live television?

“You’re sure these men are what I asked for?” she asked Lauren. “Diverse, smart, open-minded?”

“Bea, absolutely.” Lauren gave Bea’s arm a squeeze. “There are a couple of villains in the mix—we’re still making a television show—but I don’t want you to worry. You’re going to love spending time with these guys.”