One To Watch(21)

Ruby:

Gasp!



Cat:

I know. But tonight is the premiere of a new season, and this year, Main Squeeze is tackling some of the most thought-provoking questions about body image I think we’ve ever seen on TV. And maybe doing so in a completely unethical way? Because this year, for the first time, a plus-size woman is going to be the star of Main Squeeze.



Ruby:

Whoa. Daring.



Cat:

Right, as if the idea that a woman who isn’t a stick figure deserves a shot at love is somehow controversial. So this woman is named Bea Schumacher, and she’s one of the more popular plus-size style bloggers out there. Even though Bea looks how a lot of American women look, for a viewing audience, it’s really unusual to see someone who looks like her at all, and it’s almost nonexistent to see someone who looks like her portrayed as a romantic lead instead of a sidekick or best friend or mom.



Ruby:

Right, and that’s where the so-called controversy comes in—if Bea were just the main girl’s best friend on this show coming in to give advice or whatever, no one would care at all.



Cat:

Well, people would still be terrible to her on the Internet, because a lot of people find the existence of a fat woman something to get worked up about.



Ruby:

Sure, in the immortal words of Taylor Swift, haters gonna hate—



Cat:

I don’t think she coined that.



Ruby:

Okay, you’re proving my point.



Cat:

Anyway, another question is how gendered the discourse around this season is going to be, because we don’t know yet whether Bea’s suitors will be plus-size too.



Ruby:

Oh, that’s interesting! Do you even call men “plus-size,” is that a thing?



Cat:

Technically, you do, but it’s not a phrase you hear a lot—society doesn’t really feel the need to divide men according to their body size the way we do with women. The point being, there are a LOT of outstanding questions about how this season is going to play out, and I, for one, am really excited to watch, but also kind of dreading what the producers might have planned.



Ruby:

Right, because on the one hand, we have the potential for this very mainstream show to do something really subversive, but on the other hand, we’re talking about a reality show! Do we think they’re actually going to do something feminist and empowering, or do we think they’re going to exploit and humiliate this woman for ratings? Which option sounds more likely?



Cat:

The only way to find out is to watch the live season premiere tonight on ABS, which I’m certainly going to do. Ruby, have I convinced you to give it a shot?



Ruby:

Well, I’m feeling pretty invested now, so I think I am going to watch tonight to see what happens. And speaking of investments, it’s time for us to hear from our sponsor for this episode, LadyVest, which is not a purveyor of ’90s lesbian fashions. No, LadyVest is an online service that helps women learn how to invest their money to secure their financial independence, which the women of The Handmaid’s Tale can tell you is a really smart move. Go to LadyVest.com/boob—that’s slash B-O-O-B—to get a free consultation and learn more about their services. We’ll be back right after this.





——Forwarded Message——

FROM: Beth Malone <[email protected]>

TO: Squeeze Main-iacs <[email protected]>

SUBJECT: TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!



Hi, everyone! As you know, tonight is the premiere of the new season of Main Squeeze, so for those of you who haven’t created your brackets yet, PLEASE DO SO NOW or you will not be able to participate in the league this year. Colin, you’ve been saying for three years that you want to join the league, but you never fill out your bracket in time, so if you don’t do it this year, I’m going to remove you from this email list, okay?

For those who are new to the group (hi, Jenna!), here’s how it works: First, you create your bracket on MainSqueeze Bracket.com before 8pm ET tonight—just click the league invitation I sent last week to log in, pick a username, and you’re good to go. Then, you’ll have until NEXT Monday at 8pm ET to fill in your picks for the WHOLE SEASON. So watch tonight, get to know the men, and then make your predictions for who gets cut each week and who wins it all! The brackets all LOCK before episode 2 airs, so again, Colin, if you don’t fill in your brackets by next week, you won’t be able to participate all season. I can’t even change that as league commissioner, that’s just the way the website works, okay?

Okay! Hope you’re all as excited as I am for the new season!

xx, Beth

P.S. Did you guys hear Cat talk about our league on her podcast today?? We’re famous!



——Forwarded Message——

FROM: Colin Whitman <[email protected]>

TO: Beth Malone <[email protected]>

SUBJECT: Re: TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!



Jesus Beth, I made a bracket, are you happy? You’re the one who cares about this idiotic show, not me.