One To Watch(101)

“I don’t know why you keep doubting this,” he said tensely. “I’m not sure what else I can do.”

“Asher, you have to understand,” Bea pressed, “this whole time, it’s been so hard for me to know what’s real. I just—I have to know that we’re on the same page, that this isn’t me wanting something you’re not ready to give.”

Bea knew Asher had a right to be frustrated, but the truth was that she was getting pretty aggravated herself. Sam had no problem expressing his devotion to Bea—hell, even his love for her—so why was it so damn difficult for Asher?

He exhaled heavily, like he was reading her thoughts—or maybe just her face.

“I know.” Asher smiled. “I know how hard it’s been for you. And I want you to know how excited I am for us to live our lives outside of this. No cameras. No pressure. Just us. Okay? That’s what I want.”

He leaned down so she could kiss his cheek, and she lingered near him, breathing in his assurances, hoping they would steel her for what was coming next.

“Luc, I’m sorry.” Johnny affected his most serious tone. “That concludes our ceremony. Please take a moment to say your goodbyes.”

Walking toward Bea, Luc looked, if possible, even more handsome than he had that first night of filming. He looked worn now, more tired, more sad. But he wasn’t a stranger anymore, Bea thought. She knew him, and he was much more beautiful for that. No matter what he’d done, it was going to be terrible to say goodbye.

“I know I let you down this week,” he murmured, “and for this, I cannot forgive myself. You must know that our night together was perfect; for me, this is one of the best nights of my life. I hope you believe it’s the truth?”

Bea’s throat felt too tight to speak—but she nodded. Luc took her in his arms and hugged her close; over his shoulder, she saw that Asher’s face was stony, and her nerves started churning again. Was he thinking of Vanessa? How angry was he to learn she’d spent the night with Luc?

“My Bea,” Luc said, brushing a loose curl away from her face. “I still believe you should have everything you want. I am only sorry I cannot be the one who gives this to you. We both know why I must be the one to go today. But I wish I did not have to.”

Bea smiled at him sadly. “It should honestly be illegal to be that charming.”

Luc laughed softly, his great, throaty laugh, and it hit Bea how much she was going to miss him.

“I have to say goodbye to you now,” she whispered.

“Don’t say goodbye,” Luc teased gently. “Say ‘adieu.’”

“Oh my God.” Bea laughed. “You are so fucking French.”

“Mais, bien s?r.” Luc grinned, and with that perfect familiar glint in his eye, he walked off and disappeared into the hotel.

Bea sighed—that was it, right? The hard part was done; it was time to wrap the ceremony and load the vans to drive to Paris for their final week of filming. But the cameras were still rolling, and everyone held their marks.

“What’s going on?” she asked. “Aren’t we finished?”

“Not quite,” Johnny said, and paused dramatically. “Because we have one more man we need to bring out.”

“What?” Bea blurted. “Who?”

Bea looked wildly around, but she didn’t see anyone—and Johnny was still talking.

“Bea, all of us at Main Squeeze admire how brave you’ve been in your search for love. We want you to find the right man to be with for the rest of your life, so even though it’s unorthodox, when we heard we might be depriving you of a serious option, we felt that bringing this man here was the right thing to do.”

Johnny gestured toward the hotel doorway, where Bea saw that a figure was approaching. It wasn’t anyone she recognized from the show—but there was something familiar about his height, his gait. As his features slid into focus, an unspeakable dread took hold of Bea.

It was Ray.

Bea’s insides seized up and contracted—she couldn’t breathe. There he was, walking toward her, the first time she’d seen him since they’d slept together nine months ago, a ghost, a bomb, the shrapnel of him still radiating pain throughout her body.

“Asher, Sam,” Johnny was saying, “I apologize for this unusual turn of events. This is Ray, a man from Bea’s past, and he believes he may belong in her present.”

Bea tried to read Asher’s and Sam’s expressions—Sam’s face was shocked, Asher’s frighteningly dark—but then Ray was in front of her, taking her hands.

“Hiya,” he said, and she could see that he was a mess too; his hands were shaking.

“What are you doing here?” She fought for breath.

“I was trying to get in touch with you for weeks, but none of my messages went through,” he explained. “I finally emailed the producers and told them I had to see you.”

“Even though you’re engaged?” Bea asked before she could stop herself—shit, she shouldn’t have said that on TV. But if Ray was here, then surely … She looked into his eyes for confirmation of the thing she’d wanted so much for so many months, the unspoken, fervent wish that had made her feel so disgustingly guilty.

“I broke off the engagement,” Ray confessed. “I moved out last week; I should have done that a long time ago. And I know—listen, I know how bad this timing is, it’s not how I would want to do this for you, for us. I wish we could have more time. But they told me you could be getting engaged next week, and I just—I couldn’t let that happen. I had to come and see you. So, here I am.”