One Night to Risk It All(48)

“You love him,” Leah said, in the knowing tone of someone who had been afflicted by the same thing.

Her heart sank, and a burst of joy popped inside of her at the same time. It was terrifying. And wonderful. And horrible. Suddenly it was like the walls had come down, and there was no New Rachel or Old Rachel or Rachel With the Walls of Steel Behind her Heart. There was just Rachel.

Rachel Holt, who loved Alexios Christofides more than anything. No matter what.

“Yes. I do. I love him.”

* * *

“Hello, darling.”

Alex walked into his bedroom, well, the bedroom he usually shared with Rachel, and stopped. She was standing there in nothing but a short lace nightgown, her expression nothing short of seductive.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, undoing the top button on his shirt. He’d been conducting most of his business via Skype for the past couple of months, when possible, so even though he didn’t leave the house, the video chats made it so he still had to dress up.

But he wasn’t wearing a tie in his own home.

“Of what?”

“The seduction. Because that’s clearly what’s going on here.”

“I told them. My sister, my father. About the baby.”

He paused, squeezing tight on the button he’d been about to push through its hole, the blunt plastic edge biting into his finger. “And?” If they’d hurt her...if they’d said anything to her to make her feel like she’d dishonored them in some way...he feared his actions would be less than noble. Possibly less than legal.

Because Rachel was his. And no one was ever to hurt her.

“They were...surprisingly calm. But I think relieved because I explained why I did what I did. I mean, it’s awkward having to say to your dad ‘I met a man and I was overcome by attraction to him’ but I managed. To be honest, I think he preferred it to ‘Dad, I put the car in a ditch while I was drunk’ or ‘Dad, I gave some guy a BJ and he videoed it.’”

“I’m certain he did,” Alex said, his throat tightening. He wished he could get his hands on the scumbag who’d done that to her, that was for sure.

But then he really would do something illegal.

“Yes, well...I feel like I can’t worry anymore. About letting everyone down.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes. I need to worry about me. And us. And the baby.”

“Not so scared of the baby now?”

“Oh, no, terrified. Utterly terrified. But I feel a little bit more like I can breathe again. Actually, I feel like I can breathe for the first time in a long time. Because... Because if I really am okay—as I am, I mean—if I really don’t just have to be a clone of my mother? Well then maybe I can focus on being a good mom because I won’t be working so hard to keep my fa?ade in place. Does that make sense?”


“As much sense as any of our issues make.”

She laughed, so sweet and beautiful in a lace nightgown, blond hair spilling over her shoulder, a seductress. Giggling. There was something so perfect about it. Something so free.

He wanted to capture it, hold it forever.

But then...then she wouldn’t be so free. Then she would be in a cage fashioned by him, rather than one built by Ajax or her father.

The thought unsettled him. And yet it didn’t diminish the need to hold her to him. To claim her.

“I guess that’s true. I mean, none of it makes sense to anyone but ourselves, right? In here, though—” she put her hand on her chest “—it’s been the realest thing in my life. Trying to deal with that critical voice, trying to best it, to be better. While secretly dying of boredom. I haven’t even been able to be myself inside. I haven’t even had emotions that belonged to me because...I was told so often I was wrong.”

“I let go of emotions because it was the safest thing.” Except he hadn’t let go of them, not truly. Anger, rage and that impotent longing of a young boy for some kind of affection...it was all still there. And he hated it.

Silence fell between them, the light in her eyes changed. She looked fierce. Angry. “You should never have been subjected to the things you saw. It makes me want... I want to go back and protect you and I can’t. It hurts to know that I can’t.”

He felt like she’d reached straight into his chest, taken his heart in hand and squeezed tight. “I do not need protection.”

“Maybe not now, but you did. I wish someone had done that. I think it’s wonderful that you love your mother, in part because no one else did. But I wish, so much, that someone had stepped in and protected you.”

“You...care about me, Rachel?” he asked. They were hard words to speak, and yet it was harder not to say them at all.

“More than that, Alex. I actually... I wanted to say—and I was going to wait until I had you all sex-sleepy, but—I love you.”

Alex froze. “Say it again,” he said.

They were the words he’d wanted from someone all of his life. Words that had never, not once, been directed at him. Not by his mother, not by his father, not by a lover. Now that he’d heard them he wasn’t sure what they made him feel. It was something deep. Something hot and cold. Something that made him want to pick up a car and throw it into the ocean, or just pull her into his arms and kiss the hell out of her.