One Indian Girl(93)

Neel didn’t have an answer.

‘Neel?’ I said.

‘I believe in equal rights. You know that, right?’ Neel said.

‘Did you realize that perhaps I did not want to fool around? Perhaps equal rights means giving women the same rights, not the same things? Equal rights to get what they want, rather than equal rights to the same things men want.’

I noticed Debu scratch his head as he also heard and tried to figure out what I said.

‘Meaning?’ Neel said.

‘What do you want? Career? Home?’ Debu said. ‘I am really confused.’

‘Yeah. What do you want? Choose whatever you like, Radhika,’ Neel said.

I took a sip of my lukewarm coffee.

‘Ah, choose,’ I said and sneered. ‘Choice. The benchmark word of feminism, right? I become a great feminist if I give women the choice of home or career.’

‘What do you mean? Isn’t that how it should be?’ Neel said.

‘Yeah, why not? Isn’t that fair? Giving women the choice?’ Debu said.

‘No. It is still unfair. Because here’s the deal. You know what women really want? We don’t want to choose. We want to fly and we also want a beautiful nest. We want both. Do male birds tell female birds to choose? “Hey honey, choose. Either fly or sit in the nest.”’

‘I don’t get it. Really,’ Debu said. Even Neel looked confused.

‘From a man’s perspective, men want a career, right? In general?’

‘Yeah,’ Debu said.

‘Men want sex, right? No judgement, but they want sex, right?’

‘Yeah,’ Neel said.

I collected my thoughts before I spoke again.

‘Let’s say, in the name of male rights, men are given a choice. Come on guys, choose. You want a career? Go for it, just give up sex. Oh, you want sex? Just worship women all day and give up your career dreams. So choose, we are giving you equal rights. Choose now. Sex or career?’

‘Sorry but that is a ridiculous choice to make,’ Neel said.

‘Exactly, Neel. It is indeed a ridiculous choice. Just as ridiculous as the choice given to women—fly or nest. You want and get both. But a woman must choose?’

I had three sips of coffee before Neel had something to say.

‘I get it. Women want everything. To have a lovely home and be a great mother. To also have a chance to shine in their careers,’ Neel said.

‘Not all, maybe, but for many, yes,’ I said.

‘How is it practically possible? Career means long office hours. Home means kids, responsibilities,’ Debu said.

‘Exactly! Have you thought why it’s not practical?’ I said.

‘Why?’ Debu said.

‘Because men designed this world. They decided office timings, 9 to 6, five days a week. Women weren’t in the workforce then. They are now. These office timings work well for men. They don’t work for mothers, for instance. What are we going to do about it?’

‘We as in us three?’ Debu said.

‘No, we as in the whole world,’ I said. ‘When will we say, let’s rejig this to ensure it works for women? Forget rejig, when will we even acknowledge the issue?’

I paused to catch my breath, then leaned forward as if to listen to them. Debu finished his orange juice in one quick swallow.

‘You have a point. Conceded. I didn’t realize your strong need to have a family too. That is why I made a mess last time,’ Neel said.

‘I imposed my notion of motherhood on you. Ignored your desire to have a good career alongside. But forgive me and come with me. I will support you,’ Debu said.

‘No,’ I said, my voice coming from somewhere deep within me.

‘You are making the right choice with me, Radhika,’ Neel said.

‘No, Neel, not with you either.’

‘What?’ he said.

I checked the time. It was 5.28.

‘I am not coming with you, or with you. There are fundamental things about both of you that won’t change. Debu, you say you will be supportive, but the fact that you couldn’t handle even a bit of my success means it’s an intrinsic part of you. You can’t change that. And I plan to be a lot more successful than what you saw. So, sorry, no.’

‘But Radhika. . .’ Debu began.

I placed a finger on my lips to shush him right there.

‘And Neel, you are amazing, no doubt. The chartered plane, tempting, of course. Now with the divorce and everything I know you love me too. But you know what, you love only half of me. My other half is Kusum, the woman you left. You want a party girl. Someone young, who allows you to cling on to your youth. The same youth you work so hard in the gym for. Well, I won’t be this young girl forever. I don’t know what Neel Gupta will do with me then. He likes Radhika, his young vice president, but will he like Radhika, the diaper-changing wife and mom?’

‘Of course, I. . .’

‘Shh. I am not going to compromise and settle for less. I have made up my mind. Thank you for listening. Now, no more lectures. I will simply tell you the action plan.’

‘What?’ Debu said.

‘Both of you, I need you to leave, right now. This hotel, Goa and my life. You will not bother me, my family or my guests. No messages, no calls. You are my past, but guess what, I am done with my past. So please,’ I said. I pointed to the exit.