One Indian Girl(91)

Some people are good at taking decisions. I am not one of them. Some people fall asleep quickly at night. I am not one of them either. It is 3 in the morning. I have tossed and turned in bed for two hours. I am to get married in fifteen hours. We have over 200 guests in the hotel, here to attend my grand destination wedding. Everyone is excited. It is the first destination wedding in the Mehta family.

I am the bride. I should get my beauty sleep. I can’t. The last thing I care about right now is beauty. The only thing I care about is how to get out of this mess. Because, like it often happens to me in life, here I am yet again in a situation where I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

I lay still in bed for another half an hour. I thought about what I could do. I noticed Aditi didi in deep sleep. I stared at the flickering red light of the smoke alarm on the ceiling. At 3.30 a.m., I stepped out of bed. I opened the room curtains. The sea appeared pitch black. The light from a few distant ships flickered in the background. Moonlight filled my eyes.

It’s your life, Radhika, take control of it, a voice inside me said. The voice was calm, unlike the hysterical mini-me who usually yelled.

‘Who is this?’ I said to myself.

It’s me. Your inner voice.

‘The critic inside me? The one who thinks I am a total bitch?’

No, the one who thinks you deserve to be happy.

‘Really? I have a person like that inside?’ I said in my head and chuckled.

We all do.

‘Well, so what do I do? Who do I choose?’

Stay still, Radhika. Stay still. The answers will come.

I did exactly that. I sat still for half an hour, almost in meditation. I kept my eyes fixed on the dark sea outside. Slowly, a weight lifted off me. I knew what I had to do.

I took out my phone. I sent an identical message to Debu, Neel and Brijesh: ‘You there?’

Debu replied first, in a few seconds.

‘Yes, baby, trying to sleep but can’t.’

‘Meet me for breakfast. 5 a.m. Hotel coffee shop,’ I answered.

‘Oh really? That’s great! That’s just in an hour. See you!’

He also sent me a few excited and happy smileys.

‘Thanks,’ I replied, ‘see you.’

Neel responded after ten minutes.

‘Yes, am here,’ he said.

I copy-pasted a line from Debu’s chat to Neel.

‘Meet me for breakfast. 5 a.m. Hotel coffee shop,’ I sent to him.

‘Okay sure,’ Neel said.

Brijesh replied at 4.30.

‘Hey, good morning. You are up early. Did you get some rest?’ he said.

‘I am okay.’

‘Good. What’s up?’

I copy-pasted the line from Debu’s chat with one modification on the time.

‘Meet me for breakfast. 5.30 a.m. Hotel coffee shop.’

‘Really? So early?’

‘Can you? Please.’

‘Of course. See you.’

I put my phone aside. I let out a big breath. Aditi didi woke up.

‘What are you doing on the sofa?’

‘Fixing my life,’ I said.

‘What?’

‘Nothing. Just going for a shower,’ I said and went into the bathroom.





40


I reached the coffee shop at 5 a.m. Neel and Debu had already arrived. They sat at separate tables, unaware of their common link through me. Debu wore a light-blue kurta and pajama that along with his beard and spectacles made him look like a communist intellectual. Neel wore a crisp dark-blue shirt with a buttoned-down collar and a well-ironed pair of beige shorts. I wore a simple light-blue chikan salwar-kameez. It felt ten times more comfortable and lighter than the wedding fineries I had worn all week.

Four IndiGo Airlines crew members occupied another table, sipping coffee before their early morning flight. Apart from them the coffee shop had no other customers. The coffee shop was open on the side, facing the sea. Daylight had just broken. The sky had streaks of pink in it. The morning breeze felt cool in my hair, still wet after the shower.

Neel and Debu stood up at their respective tables as I entered the coffee shop. They walked towards me from two different directions.

‘Hey,’ Debu said.

‘Hi there, you look fresh,’ Neel said.

Neel and Debu looked at each other, surprised and confused.

‘Good morning. Debu, this is Neel. Neel, this is Debu,’ I said.

‘Good. . .morning,’ Debu said, as he tried to figure out the situation.

‘Hi,’ Neel said to Debu.

‘Let’s get some breakfast,’ I said.

I sat down at one of the sea-facing tables. Both of them froze where they stood.

‘Come, both of you,’ I said and smiled.

They sat down hesitantly. The waiter arrived to take the order.

‘I will have a cappuccino and brown-bread toast. With peanut butter and honey. How about you guys?’ I said.

Debu and Neel looked at each other.

‘Black coffee. Porridge, please,’ Neel said.

‘Er. . .orange juice,’ Debu said.

The waiter left. I continued to smile, enjoying their confused state.

‘Is he a friend?’ Neel said, asking about Debu.

‘Yeah, you could say that,’ I said.