One Indian Girl(73)

‘Keep up the good work.’

‘I am humbled,’ I said.

‘You deserve it. Your deals made a lot of money for the group,’ Neel said.

He smiled at me. I kept a straight face.

I came back to my desk. I called my mother. She gasped at the number, especially when I converted it into rupees. My father went into shock.

‘Of course it’s all legal, dad. What are you saying? I promise it’s legal. Goldman Sachs is a reputed firm,’ I said.

‘But three crores a year?’ he said.

‘That’s your little girl,’ I said.

He laughed.

‘You want to move to a new house in Gurgaon? One of those apartments with swimming pools and gyms?’

‘No, beta. We are fine here,’ dad said.

‘If you need anything, just anything, let me know,’ I said.

‘You visit us soon,’ he said.

‘I will,’ I said. ‘Love you.’

Josh finally left Neel’s office at 6, after finishing all bonus announcements.

I knocked at Neel’s door a little later.

‘Hey, come on in,’ he said.

‘Tired?’ I said.

‘Busy day, yes,’ he said.

I sat down in front of him.

‘Happy with your number?’ he said.

‘Yeah. I just wanted to be sure of one thing,’ I said.

‘What?’

‘How much of this bonus is due to my work?’

‘What?’ Neel said, surprised.

‘How much is due to my work and how much is due to what we have?’

‘Are you kidding me, Radhika? This is all your good work. You know the profits on your deals.’

‘Yeah, you said I deserve it. I just want to be sure,’ I said.

He shook his head.

‘I don’t believe it,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘You are paid because you are good. Actually, you deserved more. However, there are limits to what first-year VPs can be paid. I could have asked New York to override the limit,’ he said as I interrupted him.

‘Please don’t do things like that.’

‘Well, I didn’t. And it’s hurtful you think I would. I don’t need to pay you more to get your love. Okay?’

‘Okay,’ I said. ‘Thanks then.’

‘Stop presuming things. I am trapped in a marriage. I don’t have answers. I wish things were different,’ he said, his voice agitated. He paused and continued in a calmer voice, ‘But I love you. That is why I am with you. I am proud of you. You deserve it. You deserve more.’

‘I am sorry,’ I said.

‘It’s fine,’ he said.

‘How was your bonus?’ I said.

‘I am not supposed to tell you that.’ He grinned.

‘You are also not supposed to do a lot of other things with me, mister,’ I said.

‘Three,’ he said.

‘Three what?’

‘Three bucks.’

‘Three million dollars?’ I said, my eyes round.

‘See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. It sounds like a lot, I know.’

‘It is a lot. You made three fucking million dollars in bonus?’ I said.

Somehow, life has a way of making you feel inadequate about a 350,000-dollar bonus.

‘I told you. You deserve more. Dream bigger, girl.’ Neel winked at me.



‘You made so much money last year. You are a vice president. What else do you want career-wise?’

‘Mom, it’s not just career. I am not ready.’

I had surprised my parents. I had come home for the Chinese New Year four-day weekend in Hong Kong. Aditi didi had also come over. Dad, Mom, Aditi didi and I visited India Gate. We took a walk along the lawns. My mother walked with me. As always, she talked about her favourite topic.

‘You will never be fully ready. It is already hard to get a boy for you. You are too successful, beta.’

‘Is there such a thing? Too successful?’

‘For girls there is. What to do?’

‘Let’s not start again, mom. I am only here for four days.’

‘What is the use? At least chat with a few good ones? I will find NRIs, okay?’

‘No, mom. I don’t want to.’

‘Do you have someone?’ mom said and looked at me. Her direct eye contact made me uncomfortable.

I have someone, yes. Someone only five years younger than you, mom.

‘Not really.’

‘Not really means?’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘So? Don’t you need a man? Every woman does.’

‘I don’t think so. I do fine on my own.’

‘There is an age, beta. You get the best matches then. After that, a girl’s appeal declines. You are twenty-six already.’

‘So I am like a car model? Depreciating over the years.’

‘You are impossible! I am not talking to you.’

My mother sulked for the next half-hour, which meant thirty minutes of peace. We walked along Rajpath all the way to Rashtrapati Bhavan. Her tough and sullen expression matched that of the security guards on duty.

‘What do you want, mom?’ I said finally.