One Day Soon (One Day Soon, #1)(94)

“Di took losing Bug really hard. She blamed herself for not making sure he got out. She relapsed. It was bad.” Yoss took a deep, shuddering breath and stared out the window. “I hate that I don’t really know what happened to her. Right before I got my apartment I tried to get her help. I even took her to the hospital so she could check herself in. She was hooked on some messed up shit. I had never seen her like that. Not even before.”

“Oh my god,” I breathed. “I should have come back to check on her. I should have made sure she was okay,” I berated myself.

Yoss’s eyes flashed in my direction. “What happened to Di isn’t your fault. We all make choices. We have to deal with the consequences.”

I pulled into the parking lot of a small Italian restaurant and turned off the engine. “Di was my friend too, Yoss,” I reminded him.

“I know,” he sighed. “But Di became self-destructive. There’s not anything you, or anyone, could do to help her.”

“Where is she now?” I asked with a lump in my throat.

“I’m not really sure. I can only hope she went somewhere to get clean. I looked for her after I was evicted from my apartment and ended up back down by the river. No one could tell me where she was. Most didn’t even know her. It’s a new crowd out there now. A lot of the people we knew are gone.”

“Including Manny?” I dared to question.

Yoss’s eyes darkened. “Manny was busted almost ten years ago. The police picked him up and he was convicted of pandering and bunch of other shit. I haven’t seen him since.”

I tried to hide my smile. But it was impossible. Karma was wonderful.

“Maybe we could try to find Di,” I said.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start. And—” He stopped, staring down at his clenched hands in his lap. “And sometimes when people leave they don’t want to be found.”

“Like you?” I asked sharply.

Yoss glanced up at me, his eyes boring into mine. “Yes. Like me.”

We sat in silence for a little while. The moment deserved it. But my stomach erupted in a loud groan, causing both of us to laugh. “I’m guessing that’s why we’re parked outside of an Italian place,” Yoss said.

“Yeah, if that’s okay with you.” We got out of the car and headed towards the restaurant.

“That’s fine. I just…well, I don’t have any way to pay.” Yoss hunched his shoulders and wore that all too familiar look of shame. I hated that look. It ruined his beautiful face with concerns he shouldn’t have.

“I can pay. It’s no problem,” I replied delicately.

“I can’t sponge off you indefinitely, Imi. It’s not right. I’ll find a way to make it up to you. I promise.”

We went inside and took a booth towards the back. The waitress came and took our drink orders. A soda for me, water for Yoss.

“Do you want to share a pizza? They make a great Hawaiian here,” I suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Yoss agreed, putting the menu away. When the waitress came back with our drinks, I ordered the pizza. Then we were left alone again.

Yoss tapped his fingers on the table nervously. He seemed to be full of pent up energy and it was putting me on edge. He finally looked at me and flattened his hands on top of the table.

“I thought about this a lot,” he said more to himself than to me.

“Having pizza?” I joked.

Yoss gnawed at his bottom lip, his eyes roaming over my face. “Being with you again.”

Every word he spoke took the air from my lungs. He left me completely weak. “Well here I am,” I responded.

“Here you are,” he smiled. “Old Imi is still there. I’m happy to see her, but I think I like new Imi just as much.”

“What about new Yoss? Are you happy with him too?” I asked, taking a long drink of my soda.

Yoss seemed thoughtful as he picked at his pizza. I noticed he hadn’t eaten any of it yet. “I think I could be. He has a lot of shit to sort out first though.”

“Like what?” I pushed.

“Like a job. Like a place to live. Oh and a new liver would be nice,” he smirked.

“I think you need to focus on one thing at a time,” I told him.

“Sage advice. I can see why you’re so good at your job,” Yoss said. “It’s obvious you found something you really enjoy doing. I don’t know if you realize that your face lights up when you’re filling out forms,” Yoss teased and I laughed.

“I’m not that much of a nerd, but yeah, I really like my job. It gives me something to focus on. To feel like I’m making a difference. I like to feel needed, I guess.”

“I suppose it’s not hard to figure out what made you get into social work.” Yoss finally took a bite of his pizza but seemed to struggle to swallow it.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked with concern. Yoss took a drink of water and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“I’m fine. It’s just been a long time since I’ve eaten greasy food. It’ll take my body some time to remember how much I like it,” Yoss said, taking another bite.

I frowned, not quite believing his answer, but he was eating, that was the important thing.