Not Today, But Someday(31)

“I didn’t expect you to say any of that,” she admits.

“I could lie. They all probably do–”

“I said that’s enough!” Her shout startles me. I take a step backwards toward my closet. Jen stares at the floor, nervously taking her heel out of her stiletto and setting it back down, over and over again.

“I need to get dress–”

“I dumped him, alright?” She finally meets my eyes. I blink at her in shock. Just last night, she delivered news of an impending marriage and baby, and now she broke up with the guy who was giving her this future?

I close the door, assuming she didn’t tell anyone else her news last night. “What about the baby?”

“This all happened so fast,” she whispers, sitting down on the bed she just made. I lean against the bedroom door so I can listen for Mom or Chris. “I’m just a few days late,” she says. “We went out to dinner the other night, and he said he wanted to talk. And I panicked. I didn’t want him to break up with me, so I told him my news first. I just wanted it to be something that kept him around while we worked through some of our fights. I didn’t expect him to propose.”

“Why’d you say ‘yes?’”

“No man has ever asked me that before,” she says. “I said what I thought I was supposed to say. And if I’d said anything other than ‘yes,’ it would have been another fight, and I’m so tired of those fights. He says awful things...” She starts to cry. “He said awful things last night.”

“I’m sorry, Jen.” Ignoring the cold from wearing nothing but panties and a towel, I sit down next to my sister. She grabs my hand with hers and holds on tight.

“I stood up for you,” she says, her throat tight with choking sobs. “I stood up for you, and why? All you’ve ever done is judged me–”

“You broke up with him over me?”

“I broke up with him for a million reasons, but that was what pushed me over the edge.”

“What’d he say?”

“I won’t repeat it,” she says “It was horrible. And he said it in front of Mom, too. If I hadn’t dumped him, she may have killed him,” she chuckles lightly.

“What could be so bad?”

“Remember that word you asked me about last year?” I’d overheard a guy call some girl at school a name in the hallway. I’d never heard it before, but I could tell by the reaction of the teacher nearby that it was not an appropriate word, even for an insult.

“He called me that?!” I can’t imagine how I offended him so much to warrant such a name.

“Yeah, but the context was even worse. Emi, I don’t want to say anymore, but it was completely disrespectful, and I can’t be with a guy who talks about my family that way. Especially my little sister.”

“Jen, I’m sorry I called you a whore,” I tell her as I put my arms around her. She hugs me back.

“I know in your mind, I must be. I date a lot of guys, but Em, I don’t sleep with them all. I swear,” she says, as if she has to justify her behavior to me. “But I like their attention. They make me feel good about myself.”

“You should feel good about yourself on your own, though,” I tell her. “You’re pretty, and smart... when you try to be, anyway.” She has a way of acting ditzy around guys. It’s always driven me crazy, because she really isn’t. It’s rare that anyone gets to see the girl I grew up with. I know she’s there. I like that girl. I’m proud to call that girl my sister. “You don’t need a guy.”

“I might now,” she says, pulling away and putting her hand over her stomach.

“Not even for that.” I shake my head. “You know Mom and Dad would help you. They’d be mad at first, but they would help. You know how Mom is around babies anyway,” I tell her with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. Jen smiles just a tad. “How late are you?”

“Five days,” she says.

“Sometimes I’m that many days late,” I say. “And I’ve never had sex.”

She nods her head at me. “I’ll pick up a test. Maybe Chris can drive me to the train station. We can stop on the way.”

“Did you tell him?”

“No. And maybe I won’t have to,” she says, standing up. “You should put some clothes on, sis. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Okay. I’ll be downstairs in a minute.”

“You know, Em?” she asks, pausing in the doorway. “I really hope this is a false alarm, but if there’s anything I’m certain of... it’s that I know you’ll be a good aunt someday. You’re a bright girl. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders.”

“Thanks,” I tell her.

“Don’t ever let a guy tell you any differently. Even cute ones in leather jackets who put you up for the night without taking advantage of you–”

“I wouldn’t,” I try to stop her.

“He didn’t take advantage of you, did he?” she tacks on quickly.

“No. Nate was just being a good friend.”

She smiles sweetly. “You should keep it that way. For awhile, at least.”

“I plan to, don’t worry.” She shuts the door softly and leaves me to get dressed. Is Nate a good guy? Because aside from my brother, I’m really not sure any exist. Josh is just one more confirmation of that.