Nocturne(32)

Even though he’d kissed me back.

“Thank you, Miss Marshall,” he muttered without looking up from his papers. That made my stomach turn. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes. Couldn’t, maybe. If he’d had any respect for me at all through the semester I’d made quick work of erasing it with a single kiss.

“You’re welcome,” I whispered, turning slowly from his desk, fighting tears all of a sudden.

“Savannah,” he called softly. Of course, a few heads in the front row popped up, undoubtedly studying our interaction.

I cleared my throat and turned back toward him, where I found his piercing blue eyes scanning my face. “Yes?”

He squared his shoulders a bit and I watched him swallow before he said, “Good luck.”

I nodded and left the classroom quickly, without saying thank you. I’d intended to wait for Nathan, but I was too big of a mess. I sprinted back to my dorm, tears streaming down my face.

Bursting through my door, I was relieved Marcia was still in her exam and I had the room to myself. I tossed my backpack on the floor and collapsed, facedown on my bed, sobbing into my pillow. The rumors didn’t bother me. The school year was over and before anyone realized it, something else would happen to get people talking. I’d survived a class with the notorious Gregory Fitzgerald and was pretty sure I’d end up with a decent grade.

If he could even objectively grade my exam at this point.

I gripped my comforter as the tears came harder, at the realization of their purpose in the first place. I was going to miss him. I was going to miss Gregory. Not his broody, insufferable, uptight exterior, but what I knew was inside of that. His passion, his musicianship. It was the music. It was him. They were one and the same, even if he couldn’t see it. I was going to miss the times he brought his cello to class to illustrate his lectures with music. Those moments where I felt like there was no one else in the room, because as soon as his bow slid across the strings I felt like it was just me, and him, and the music. God, the music.

His lips.

I’d only tasted his lips once, and the thought of never again curled me into the fetal position. I needed another way. Another way for this end, other than goodbye.

There was none. This was it.

Sitting up after several minutes, I forced myself to take a few deep breaths as I dried my tears. It was for the best that the year was over. I still had another year left at the conservatory and was bound to run into him at one time or another. I needed to learn to behave in a professional manner if I was ever going to get into a symphony when I left here—if that’s even what I wanted.

My phone rang, interrupting my spiraling train of thought. I smiled, seeing it was Madeline White. I couldn’t wait until fall, when I could resume instruction with her.

“Hello?”

“Savannah, dear, how are you? You sound like you’ve been crying.” She sounded genuinely concerned.

“Oh, you know,” I tried to sound nonchalant, “just finished my music theory final.” I laughed a little.

“That would do it to me, too.” She echoed my laugh. “Anyway, I’ve been waiting for you to finish up the last of your finals so I could talk to you about something.”

I sat up a little straighter as her tone brightened. “Yes?”

“As you know, I instruct at the Tanglewood Institute every summer.”

“Mm-hmm.” I nodded, and started pacing around my room, clearing all the Gregory clutter from my brain.

That’s where I first met Madeline, when I was a freshman in high school. The Institute is open to students entering ninth grade through those entering their sophomore year of college. I’d attended every year I was eligible to, and, frankly, missed it greatly last summer.

“Well, this is very unusual, and I had to make lots of noise and jump through several hoops to make this happen, but … I want you to shadow me there this summer, Savannah. I’d like you to work with me and instruct with me at the Institute.”

“What?” My pulse raced as I tried to piece her words together in an order that made sense. “Is that … how did you?” Words fell rapidly from my brain and landed on the floor around me.

She laughed sweetly. “You’re incredibly talented, Savannah. No one can deny that. I wouldn’t normally share this information with any student of mine, but you’re the best flutist at the conservatory right now. And, frankly, the best we’ve seen in years. This will provide you an opportunity you simply wouldn’t get anywhere else. I hope you’ll consider—”

“Yes!” I squealed before she could finish her sentence.

“Oh fantastic! Stop by my office sometime today and I’ll go over the details with you. I’m thrilled, Savannah, really. I think this will be a fabulous opportunity for you.”

Happy tears washed over the old ones. “Thank you, Madeline. See you this afternoon.”

I tossed my phone on the bed and stretched my arms over my head, grateful that my summer would be filled with nothing but music and sunshine.

Grateful for something to distract me from the love I felt for Gregory that I knew he wouldn’t return.





Gregory


As my theory class went through their final, I went through the music I’d given Robert to study this week. Somehow, despite my objections, I’d been drawn into guiding his curriculum, even if one of my former students was handling the lessons. For only two months of practice, he was coming along surprisingly well.