Naked Love(77)

I nod slowly.

“And Jake’s uncle.”

My eyes widen, lips parted, words muted as my brain pieces things together. Jake’s uncle. That means Deedy is Jake’s aunt. She’s going to marry my dad. That will make me … Jake’s cousin? No, that’s not right. But it feels like there’s a family tie that makes what we’ve done even more wrong.

“You have a disgusted look on your face. Is it the coffee?”

“No. It’s just that makes Jake …”

“Gavin was his father’s younger brother—a lot younger and nothing like his father. Jake and Gavin were more like cousins or brothers than uncle and nephew. After Jake’s mom died, he lived with Gavin because—”

“He didn’t want to live with his father. He told me that.”

“Yes. Gavin is the one who helped channel Jake’s anger into a better outlet. Fighting. He trained him. Jake was like another brother to me. I never thought of him as a nephew after Gavin and I got married.” She shrugs and gives me a soft smile. “Jake’s my family. He always will be family.”

“Well, clearly he thinks a lot of you because I can’t tell you how many times his mumbled mantra ‘do it for Deedy’ kept him from literally killing me on our trip.”

Deedy grunts a laugh. “Jake feels indebted to me. He feels guilty … responsible for Gavin’s death.”

“Why?” My head cocks to the side a bit.

Deedy takes a slow breath. Then she bites her bottom lip, eyes focused on the blank table space between us.

“They went to a fight to watch a mutual friend. I stayed home to pack for a mission trip we were supposed to take the following day.” Her gaze meets mine. Time hasn’t erased the pain. It’s red in her eyes, very much still alive.

“After the fight, there was a dispute. Some guy who Jake fought years earlier wasn’t happy to see him again. He was one of Jake’s opponents who left on a stretcher.” Deedy blows out another breath and returns her gaze to the table and three years earlier.

“Gavin started to argue with the guy. Jake tried to keep things from getting out of hand, so he pushed Gavin back to put himself between them. Gavin tripped on something and fell backward. He hit his head on a concrete ledge of the next level of seating.”

Deedy shakes her head slowly. “No cut. No bump. He didn’t lose consciousness. Got up on his own and dusted himself off like it was no big deal. Seemingly unscathed. Jake suggested he get checked out by a doctor, but Gavin said he’d taken much harder hits to his head when he was a fighter.”

She’s The Deedy. Stealer of my father. Haunter of my Jake fantasies. Yet, I can’t keep my hand from reaching for hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Deedy smiles at our hands. “He came home. Showered. I looked at his head, but it looked fine. He was fine. Fine …” Her face contorts into a grimace. “Until he wasn’t. He got this severe headache and felt dizzy. His words were confusing. I called Jake and told him I was going to take Gavin to the hospital. He told me to call 9-1-1.” Her words come out shaky. She clears her throat. “He died later that night. It was an epidural hematoma caused by blunt impact.”

I don’t speak or even move. What’s there to say?

“So…” Deedy pulls her hand from mine and wraps it around her cup of tea “…there you have it. Jake’s endured a wide array of trauma in his life. He carries guilt like an inoperable tumor attached to his conscience. Working with food. Caring for the environment. These things have helped him deal with his suppressed emotions. But he’s not without triggers.”

I laugh through the pain. “I’m clearly a trigger for more than one of his traumatic moments in life. But … that’s over. Doesn’t matter now. However, I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

“Gavin was my first love. I believe Tommy is my last love.”

Tommy. I grin, but I fear it might look like a cringe.

“Sorry. Your dad. Tom? Thomas? What works for you? I don’t like it when you’re uncomfortable with our relationship. I want us to be friends, not just family by marriage.”

The Deedy and I forging a friendship? I’m not sure about this, but it feels like the odds are in her favor now that I know for sure there was nothing sexual between her and Jake.

“He’s going to be your husband.” I smile. “Call him whatever you want to call him. I’ve just never heard anyone call him Tommy before, but maybe that makes it even more fitting for you to call him that. I think had my mom called him that, it would feel wrong in a bad way, not just in an unfamiliar way. Does that make sense?”

“Perfect sense.”

This is awkward. I had my mind set on hating Deedy for no particular reason. Immature? Sure. But I’ve got my own baggage. “So …” I stand before the silence gets too weird. “Tell me about the wedding.” I busy myself with the dishes again.

“We’re out of here. Sure you don’t want to come?” Sydney peeks her head into the kitchen.

“I’m good, but thank you.”

Deedy gives Sydney a wave just before my sister and her family head out the door. “Well, I assume we’ll have the ceremony as soon as we return to Milwaukee. Everyone is invited; we just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it or have anyone feel like they had to make the trip, so that’s why we said we’d get married then come out here for a family reception of sorts.”