Naked Love(71)

“You’re in deep, huh?” Her hand finds mine, and now she’s the one giving me a squeeze of understanding.

Drawing in a shaky breath, I nod. “So deep it hurts. So deep it scares me. So deep I’m certain I won’t survive whatever this is if he changes his mind. And he’s going to change his mind. They always do.”

“I married the man who looked at me the way Jake looks at you.”

“I’m not you. Had Jake met single Sydney, he would have chosen you without a second thought. I fear we’ve been out of touch with reality—out in the woods—for so long, he thinks he has feelings for me. What if we get to L.A., and I’m no longer the best choice?”

“What if you are?” His voice sounds.

We jump as Jake steps around the corner, pinning me with a look that makes me squirm. He looks offended. Maybe even angry? I can’t tell.

Sydney stands, wiping her eyes. “Hey, I’m going to take a shower before we go. And I need to call home.” Reality seeps back into the moment.

Jake nods and shares a sympathetic smile with her. When she squeezes past him, he returns his attention to me and holds out his hand.

I take it, and he pulls me to my feet, peering down at me like he can reduce me to ashes with his evil stare.

He wins. My gaze slips to his bare chest.

“I’m going to pretend that this lack of confidence you have this morning is just a side effect of grief.”

I shake my head. “It’s just the side effect of being human. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Jake lifts my chin with his finger. I wait for the lecture. I wait for that look that says I’ve let him down. I wait for the flinch of regret.

Nothing.

Instead, he lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me. It’s soft and patient. It’s a reminder of the words that were exchanged last night. Tears find their way down my face.

He pulls away and wipes them with his thumbs. “Swarley?”

I shake my head. “Jake.”

He smiles and it’s real. It’s … real.

“You going to shower?”

I shake my head again. “Showers are overrated. Besides, I like how you smell on me.”

Jake brushes his lips along my cheek, stopping at my ear, eliciting visible chills along my skin. “Me too,” he whispers.

I hug him. He lifts me up and carries me to the bed. Jake’s physical strength is quite possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced with a man. I’ve felt financial security, a strong social standing, showered in gifts, but never just raw, strong, all-man sex appeal. Jake is just …

Sigh …

He sits on the end of the bed. “Are you going to drive back home with your sister? I think you should.”

Biting my lips together, I nod several times. “You’re probably right. She’s going to have Swarley. I don’t want her making the drive alone.”

“I’ll follow you.”

“Yeah?” I can’t hide my spark of excitement.

“Ave …” He shakes his head like my questioning him is somehow ridiculous.

I can’t help it. Wanting something this much is not just scary, it’s impossible to breathe when you’re so close to having everything. Jake’s a world I never knew existed. He’s my favorite surprise. My guiltiest pleasure. The dream that finds a place in reality.

Just as I open my mouth to ask Jake for some reassurance that we will find a way to really be together, a photo on the far wall of Megan’s bedroom catches my attention. “What’s that?” I climb off his lap and take slow steps to the gray-framed photo.

“It’s Ranger. Megan’s husky. She and her ex-husband rescued him from an abusive home. Ranger died a week after their divorce.” Jake presses his chest to my back and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

My dad was wrong. Sometimes God does give you more than you can handle.

“What happened to his eye?” It’s hard to speak without the ability to breathe, but I manage to get five words past my airless lungs.

“Previous owner shot him with a BB gun.”

My hand moves to my mouth.

“Unimaginable, huh?”

I nod. It’s all unimaginable. But nothing is quite as unimaginable as the expensive gold engraved tag hanging from the dog’s collar that I gave him.

“You said Meg’s husband cheated on her?”

“Yep.”

No air. Where’s the air? Why can’t I breathe?

“Did she catch him?” I whisper, gaze affixed to the photo.

“No, Steve confessed at the worst possible time.”

Steve.

His mom had cancer.

I close my eyes.

“Megan was pregnant, and she…” Jake clears his throat like he’s choking on some residual emotion “…miscarried the day after he told her about the affair.”

My eyes snap open. “W-what?”

He wasn’t married. No, no, no … He didn’t have a pregnant wife.

“Fucking asshole cheated on her when she was pregnant. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him and his home-wrecking whore.”

I blink, releasing big, heartbreaking, regretful, angry, God-hates-me tears.

“Anyway … Ranger was a good dog.” Jake gives me a squeeze and kisses my wet cheek. “Ave?” He turns me toward him.