NOCTE (Nocte Trilogy #1)(62)

As soon as it’s a decent hour, I head for Dare’s cottage. He answers his door shirtless, and it takes great effort to ignore that.

“Have you talked to Finn lately?” I ask him without greeting, my eyes frozen on his, never traveling south of his chin.

He looks at me oddly. “No, why?”

“Because I was reading his journal last night and he wrote something that you said. Verbatim, Dare.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “And what piece of wisdom was this?”

“I’m not kidding,” I snap. “He said, ‘Secrets. Everybody’s got ‘em.’ That’s exactly what you said to me. Why would you be talking about secrets with Finn? Has he told you what’s going on with him?”

Dare seems utterly confused now, and he gestures for me to come in. I hesitate.

“Please,” he urges. “I should get a shirt on.”

I follow him in and wait on the sofa as he pulls a shirt on. When he comes back out, he sits next to me, picking up my hand.

“To answer your question, no. I haven’t spoken to Finn about any secrets. Is it possible that he overheard us talking? I think we were discussing secrets here on the property one time.”

Maybe.

That actually makes sense. Finn does have a way of quietly slipping around.

I relax, my shoulders slumping. Dare stares at me.

“Did you really think Finn would get into a deep conversation with me?” He eyes me doubtfully. I shrug.

“No. I guess not. I’m just… frustrated. He’s hiding something. It’s making him worse and he won’t talk to me about it. He’ll never be able to go to college alone at this rate.”

Which means that I won’t be able to, either.

It’s something that makes me feel panicky, guilty and dejected about at once.

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” Dare presses me. “I thought you wanted to go with him.”

“I do,” I say quickly, too quickly. “I mean. Yes. I do. But at the same time, I guess I was warming up to the idea that he wants some separation. I thought it would give me an opportunity to maybe have a love life. With you, for instance.”

I feel sheepish now, ashamed, embarrassed. What kind of sister am I?

Dare lifts my chin with his finger. “Don’t feel guilty about that,” he tells me. “You have the right to a life of your own, too, you know. That doesn’t make you a bad person.”

I nod, not believing him.

He grins at me, and for a second, just one, I feel like everything is fine. “Let’s get out of here today.”

I nod immediately. “Ok. Where?”

Dare stares out his window, toward the ocean. “Out there. Where we’re boundless.”

LIVE FREE.

“Ok,” I agree.

We’re in my boat within five minutes. Me in a short sundress and sunscreen, and Dare in his dark jeans and none.

“You’re going to get skin cancer,” I stare at him.

“I’m not,” he answers. I don’t argue because I like his bare chest, and the way the muscles ripple across his shoulders as he moves. I pause on my way to the helm, long enough to run my fingers over the letters of his tattoo. His skin is hot beneath my fingertips, and the friction makes me grit my teeth.

“I’m going to show you someplace new,” I tell him, guiding the boat out of the bay and toward a small rock pier down the beach. It only takes ten minutes to get there, and I urge the boat aground so that we can step out onto land.

I hold my hand out to Dare and he takes it, climbing down next to me. We walk all the way out to the tip of the land finger, where the fingernail would be.

Dare sits, and I sit next to him, our feet splayed out in front of us on the rocks.

We’re surrounded by nothing but the air and water, we’re utterly alone out here, with no one to overhear or watch us like we’re fish in a bowl.

The salty breeze blows Dare’s hair around his face and I turn to him.

“I’m ready to use another question,” I tell him. He grins.

“So soon? It’s only been days since the last one.”

I ignore that. “Why are you such a gentleman?”

Meaning, why are you so resolute to keep your distance until I figure my shit out?

He shifts his weight and crosses his feet at the ankles. “So you’ve noticed.”

His tone is wry. I roll my eyes.

“Seriously. Why are you trying to force me into doing something for my own good that I don’t want to do? All for the sake of being a gentleman? Maybe being a gentleman is overrated and archaic.”

He scoffs at that, shielding his eyes from the sun with long fingers of one hand. I stare at his silver ring glinting in the light.

“It’s not, trust me.” The way he said that is so knowing, so strange.

I raise an eyebrow and he sighs.

“My step-father, while refined and rich, was not a gentleman behind closed doors. From the time I was very small, I decided that I would always be the opposite of him. My mother always gave me lessons on what a gentleman should do. She spoke of those traits with such…reverence that I knew that’s what I wanted to be.” He pauses. “Are you going to make fun of me now?”

He stares at me, his jaw so sculpted, his eyes so guarded. I find all I want to do is reach out and stroke the coarseness of his stubble with my hand. “No,” I tell him. “Not at all.”