NOCTE (Nocte Trilogy #1)(59)

“Even if he’s a danger to himself?” I demand. “He was on the edge of the cliffs this morning. And then he told me that he was on the edge and it wasn’t a metaphor, Jason. He’s in serious trouble. His hands have been shaking and I’m afraid he’s stopped taking his meds. Has he said anything to you?”

Jason hesitates, then stares seriously into my eyes.

“I can’t say. But what I can say is that Finn hasn’t been to group in weeks.”

Those words slam into me with the weight of a freight train and I stand limply in front of the therapist.

“Weeks?” The word scrapes my lungs. “That’s impossible. I’ve been driving him myself.”

Jason shakes his head regretfully. “You might be driving him here, but he’s not coming in. I’m sorry, Calla.”

He’s sorry. My brother is losing it, and his therapist is sorry.

My blood boils and I whirl around.

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” I demand before I walk away. “You’re supposed to be helping him, for God’s sake.

It’s no wonder Finn always calls out for me. I’m the only one he can count on.

I storm through the hospital and slam my car door hard enough to shatter the half-open driver’s side window.

I’m covered in pellets of safety glass as I sit hunched over the steering wheel.

Perfectus.

To make matters worse, because it’s Oregon, it starts to rain as I drive. I lean away from the door as the rain blows the precipitation in. By the time I get home, I’m drenched.

I slam the car door again, as hard as I can.

It echoes through the yard, or so I imagine.

I take the stairs three at a time, and before long, I’m standing in front of my father again. He’s startled by my drowned rat appearance.

“I just came from the hospital,” I tell him harshly. “Finn hasn’t been going to Group. So if you weren’t worried before, you should be now.”

My father stares at me blankly, something that infuriates me.

“Dad, you’ve got to live in the present right now. I know you’re sad. I know you have gin in that coffee cup.” He looks at his glass and then looks up me guiltily. “Did you wonder why your open bottle was gone the other night? It’s because I drank it and you didn’t even notice. Dare cleaned me up and took care of me, not you.”

My father looks horrified and appalled but I don’t pause.

“Finn needs you. He needs you right now.”

My father’s head drops and he stares at his hands, at the mug in his hands. “I’m sorry, Calla. I’m sorry that you think I’ve checked out. I haven’t. I love you, and I love Finn.”

My heart softens at the sight of his broken expression. “I know,” I tell him softly. “I’m sorry I’m so angry. I’m just… Finn. I’m worried about Finn.”

“I know,” he tells me. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

“Do you know where he is?” I ask as I head toward the stairs.

“No.”

I don’t turn back around, I just leap up the stairs. Finn’s not there. Not in his bedroom or mine or on the top floor at all. I go back downstairs and search every room, even the Visitation rooms. He’s simply not here.

As I stand in the kitchen, trying to figure out where he might’ve gone, my attention is drawn to a pad of paper lying on the counter.

One word is scrawled over and over.

NOCTE.

And with that, I know where I have to go.





32


TRIGENTA DUO



I clatter down the porch steps, just in time to see Dare emerging from his cottage.

Like always, he’s dressed in slim dark jeans and a snug t-shirt. He’s heading for his bike and he looks like he’s going to continue on his way, until he notices my face. His eyes narrow as he sees my state of distress. He immediately changes course and heads for me.

“What’s wrong?” he asks in concern, his hand reaching for mine.

I pull away. “Oh, now you’re worried about that?” I can’t help but ask. The emotions of the day are threatening to overwhelm me.

He shakes his head. “Don’t do that. I’ve already explained. Everything is just complicated.”

I swallow hard. “Finn’s gone. I can’t find him. I think he went to Nocte.”

Dare nods toward his bike without hesitation. “Then let’s go.”

We pull on helmets and are on the road within a minute. My arms wrap around his waist like they belong there, and I suddenly realize that they do. My arms belong wrapped around this man, no matter what. No matter what secrets he might have, or what might be going on with me.

When I’m upset, he calms me. When I’m breathless, he gives me air. When I’m sad, he buoys me. That’s all that matters, right?

I decide that soon, I’ll sit down and tell him all of these things.

But not right now. Because right now, I have to find Finn.

We pull right up outside the hole in the fence and then we duck through it.

I take off at a run through the park, headed straight for the old house of horrors. Dare runs with me, easily keeping pace.

“There isn’t a car here,” he points out to me as we jog. Our wet shoes squeak on the midway.