My Summer in London (My Summer #1)(40)

After Aaron had played me for a fool, I would be stupid to let that happen to me twice. Cruz would eventually discard me once he’d had his fun. Then he would eventually go back to dating the women who were more suited for him.

I had to guard my heart, and I was doing just that. He couldn’t fault me for that.

“Very well. As you wish.” Briskly getting up from his seat, he gave me a stiff, courteous nod before bidding me good-bye.

Our eyes battled for a few minutes until he broke contact, readying to leave.

I didn’t know why I was in pain watching him walk away when it was what I wanted in the first place. The matters of the heart always battled against the mind. Maybe that was why nothing made sense anymore.

I hated being in limbo, but I didn’t have much choice. I would just have to learn how to live with it.

Finishing half of my lunch, I left the sunroom half an hour later, still reeling. I sought the safe confines of my bedroom, hoping to spend the rest of my day relaxing so I would have enough energy to push through the next five days working alongside Cruz.

Instead of calling Aaron back, I thought it was a better idea to email him. That way, I could thoroughly think through what I would say to him without getting my emotions involved like they had when we first broke up. I had written him lengthy text messages, left foul voicemails, and always yelled into his face whenever I saw him in school or at a party.

Recalling my hurtful past made me realize how important it was to build up my walls against Cruz so the past wouldn’t repeat itself. If he was only after sex, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. After all, he was amazing in bed, so as long as we kept our relationship physical, then it wouldn’t be a problem, now would it?

I wasn’t sure where my mind was leading me to, but I couldn’t deny that I was actually looking at this whole thing in a larger scale. Maybe it was time to get the details into perspective and spin it into my favor, one where I had the power to halt and disengage whenever I wanted.





Chapter Twenty





When Monday rolled around, I had to call work and speak to Denise, explaining my situation in school and apologize for not making it to work. The school had invited a guest speaker that I couldn’t miss. Not to mention, upon attendance, I would also be earning an extra credit for my Economics class, so it was really imperative I went. Though I had to admit, it was a rather convenient excuse to avoid work, too, since I hadn’t made a decision yet, and once I encountered Cruz, he would inevitably press on that subject, so it was best to be prepared for when that time came.

Throughout the afternoon, I kept checking my phone, half-hoping Cruz would eventually call, perhaps just to see if I was fine and see where I was, but that call never happened.

That night, I got home with a sinking feeling that maybe my irrational response to his invitation was a mistake on my part. Like I had said before, I was in limbo. This very line of thought proved just how frustrating the tug of war of emotions was driving me crazy.

Knowing how my mind was already not making any sense, I went to bed, convincing myself I could very well ponder this the next day. Trying to solve my heart’s dilemmas wouldn’t do me any good when I was exhausted. Tomorrow, after all, was another day, another chance.

The next day at work, I found myself high on nerves as I prepared the refreshments I normally wheeled into his office. I knew it had only been a day since he had left me in the sunroom, so I wasn’t sure how he would likely greet me: with a cold aloofness or with a warm smile. Somehow, I found myself hoping it was the latter.

Before taking the snacks to him, I made a quick stop at my desk to pull out a mirror from my purse just to make sure my hair was in place and my teeth were sparkling white. Satisfied with my appearance and armed with a smile and enthusiasm, I made my way towards his office. I took a shaky breath as I stopped right outside his door before finally deciding to knock a few times and let myself in.

Cruz looked up to watch me come through, and our eyes met.

Nervously, I caught my breath as I softly nodded in his direction. “Hello, Mr. Elliot.”

“Serena,” he immediately threw back, waiting for me to do or say something.

Since I wasn’t sure how to approach him, I resorted to doing what I was there for—serving him his nibbles. Once everything was set, I quietly spun to face him and was startled to find him with his eyes trained on me, as if he was still waiting for something.

Fidgeting with my fingers, I cleared my throat. “About yesterday—”

“I was already told,” he fluidly provided, unblinking as he watched me like a man would admire something from afar. His face was stern with no smiles, but his eyes … his beautifully expressive eyes were aglow with warmth and something else. “Care to share some tea with me? Coffee perhaps?”

Um … yes? Should I say yes? Maybe I should. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, but people would talk if I did. Office gossip would ruin this entire internship for me.

“No, thank you. I really should get back to work.” I was a coward, and I wasn’t proud of it.

Cruz threw me a challenging look. “Come here,” he commanded smoothly.

“Why?” I questioned timidly.

“Because I want to look at you.”

“You can see me fine from here.” It was one of those mind games he liked to play, but I wasn’t going to let him have his way.