My Summer in London (My Summer #1)(39)

“Do you want to talk about last night?” His question threw me off balance as I tried to read his mind and failed miserably.

About last night … I wasn’t ready to break it down and what it all meant. It was too much, too soon.

I slowly shook my head. “No, not right now.” Someday maybe, but not the day after …

“Some other time, perhaps.” He made a solemn nod, as if understanding where I came from before he cleared his throat. “I should get going and let you be. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

Wait, what?

“Oh, you’re going? Like, right now?” I asked, jolted by the fact that he was ready to leave so soon after I had arrived. “You’re heading home or … somewhere else?” I had to know. Maybe he had prior plans …

He seemed thoughtful for a moment before shrugging. “I’m not so sure yet.”

“Oh … okay.” My insecurities came back with a vengeance, and all of my thoughts were directed towards his ex Ivy. f*uk.

“Go on. Tell me,” he urged.

Cruz’s word made me snap back to reality.

Blinking, I glowered at him. “Tell you what?” I wasn’t playing coy; I didn’t know what he meant.

“What’s making you frown at me like that?” He didn’t hesitate to call me out.

Um, f*uk, like I would seriously tell him the whole theory behind my worrisome expression.

“I just didn’t expect you to leave so soon.” Half-truths were better than lying in my book.

Cruz considered me for a moment, as if he didn’t believe what I had just fed him.

“Afraid to miss me, Serena?” he asked.

I had to admire his punch lines. That shit got me every single time.

Thrown off by his question while I simmered in my own redness, I still tried to portray what little confidence I could muster up. “No. I …” I began to say, sounding unsure of myself.

His eyes sparkled, basking in my evident discomfort. “Do you know how arduous it is for me not to kiss you right now?”

“No, not here, not when someone could see us,” I immediately protested.

He had already risked too much earlier by kissing me. I didn’t want to give the household staff any reason to see this as anything other than playful banter between friends. God knew what they would think of me, most especially since Cruz hadn’t broken the news of his newly single status. The moment the word got out, I didn’t doubt there would be a lot of women wanting to catch his attention. Would he still want me then?

“Come with me. I want to spend my day with you,” he said.

“Doing what exactly?” The very idea made me nervously choke on my own saliva. If I spent the rest of the day with him, I would never come down from my high. I could kiss my sanity good-bye.

He shrugged, loving the idea he had suggested. “Whatever your heart wishes. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t hesitate to bury myself inside of you again … and again … and again.” The sultriness in his voice was noted unmistakably.

The images of him doing just that made my pu**y clench from yearning for the same thing, but as much as I would love to have sex with him again, I was still sore from last night. Moreover, as much as I hated to admit it, I knew he and I needed some space from each other to breathe, to think, to fully understand what in the world was going on. After all, if I just threw caution to the wind and spent the day in bed with him, I would be in for the grandest of heartbreaks. I already knew that.

The impact Cruz already had on me was tremendously powerful compared to how it all had begun when I first dated Aaron. What I’d had with him didn’t even come close. Cruz possessed me like no other man ever had, and that was terrifying to think. If I gave him more of me, I would lose myself, and once this thing we had was over, I would have nothing left.

Making a skittish face, I braced myself to answer. “It’s tempting to say yes … but I’m afraid I have to skip on that. I guess I’ll be seeing you at work tomorrow.”

His face darkened, as if he hadn’t expected to hear my disinterest. “Are you quite sure?”

“It’s just too soon … I don’t want to rush into anything,” I reasoned, trying to convince him just as I tried to convince myself that I had made the right decision.

Cruz seemed to see through the bullshit I was feeding him because he looked far from convinced. “You’re weighing your other options then, I see.”

No, I wasn’t necessarily weighing my other options, more like being cautious of my heart. As a man, I doubted he could see that. To him, this was more likely about ego than anything.

It was surprising that this was what he thought of me, yet he was willing to keep pursuing me. Why on earth would he do that? Was this all just a stupid game, a challenge to win against his brother? Anyone with eyes could easily see how those two competed, so that was highly plausible.

My thoughts were making me sick to my stomach. If I were any wiser, I would guard my heart against Cruz. For some odd reason, I had an awful feeling in my gut that he would eventually crush it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Cruz.”

Something dark flashed in his eyes, drawing me into his silvery gaze. Though I could see frustration and puzzlement all over his expression, I didn’t let it persuade me to undo my decision.