My Summer in London (My Summer #1)(23)
“You should live and enjoy life. You’re young and free. I beg of you not to wrap your mind around what might or might not have been.” My voice trembled as emotions ran through me. I let my eyes roam her beguiling beauty for the last time before I softly kissed her forehead, as if she was the most precious thing this world had to offer. She very well could be, for me at least.
Ignoring the tightening of my chest, I tried to make a reassuring smile. I couldn’t shake away the feeling that I was throwing away something that could’ve been special had I given the time to nurture it.
Mirroring the same smile I had bestowed on her, Serena gently detached herself from me. “Goodbye, Cruz.”
I merely nodded, unable to trust myself to utter a damn word. I let her words hang in the air, sounding as if it were a simple good-bye, though it indicated so much more than that. It was as if she was saying it with finality, as though she was releasing the man who could have been with her.
I stared after her, half-wanting to chase her and apologize, and the other side felt as though this was the wisest thing to be done since it had gotten out of control. We were working together, and I simply could not let this temptation derail me from my main goal, my ultimate purpose.
Never had I experienced anything like this, even though nothing really had happened between us except for that one kiss. Who would have thought a mere kiss could wreak havoc in my life? It was all over now.
Working alongside Serena Woods would be a hellish ordeal, but it was one I had to learn how to master. God help me because, if I couldn’t, it would be a bloody disaster. I would have to take all the required precautions to remind myself how closely I was to throwing everything away for a girl who made me feel like I was on the verge of a free fall.
I wasn’t aware of how long I stood there, staring at the front door after Serena had gone inside. Maybe it was exhaustion or madness, but I had to move along, or someone would see me and wonder if I had lost my mind. I took one long breath before retreating back into my vehicle and driving myself back to my own place.
The moment I entered my house, instead of going into my bedroom, I sought the bar where I drank until I was numb within, until I could no longer imagine her tearstained face.
When I kissed you … I knew you felt it. You looked as if you did. You did feel it, didn’t you?
Her words haunted me so much I barely slept a wink. It didn’t help my cause that the dress she’d had on filled my mind all night.
How I managed to restrain myself and not push her against the car and have my wicked way with her left me speechless. Functioning around her without noting how my cock painfully ached was a feat. It was no wonder I was always furious with her. The woman simply made my cock ache like no other in my life. Not even Ivy could elicit such lascivious thoughts.
“Serena,” I hissed out, “how you f*uk with my bloody mind.”
Chapter Thirteen
It was expected that Cruz would do everything in his power to avoid me. Even when I wheeled in his refreshments, he was engaged in a call or conveniently in the bathroom, anything really so he didn’t have to speak to me. As much as it hurt me, I was also grateful he made it easier to work in his presence. After a week, I had gotten used to it. Well, up until I met his fiancée, Ivy, in the flesh.
It was on a Thursday, and I was doing my usual round of refreshments in his office when he emerged from the door with this stunning woman draped on his arm. I was in the middle of rearranging the porcelain pot and the fresh cream when they surprised me with their enamored presence, so I spilled a little cream on the tray. Obviously, I was beyond shocked. I wasn’t exactly the poised kind, nor was I elegant, so I was pretty sure I appeared inexperienced and unprofessional. If it were Steph or Denise, they would have handled it with effortless elegance.
Before I could beat myself up for my major blunder, Ivy decided to take charge of the situation while Cruz remained cool as a cucumber.
“Serena, right? I’ve heard so many things about you. It’s about time we finally meet. I’m Ivy, Cruz’s fiancée.” Ivy was a tall, long-legged brunette who screamed heiress by her practiced smile, the slight tilt of her head, and the soft-spoken voice she addressed me with.
As much as I wanted to study how well they went together, I was more worried about what she had just said.
So she had heard things about me? Uh, such as what, exactly?
“It’s great to meet you, too, Ivy.”
“Why don’t you join us for coffee, Serena? I’d love to know more about you,” she offered, leaving me disconcerted.
“Serena is busy, Ivy,” Cruz instantly interrupted, barely glancing at me. “I’m sure she has better things to do.”
I did, like stomp his balls into the ground for being a coward and a hot jerk rolled into one.
Still donning my awkward smile, I merely nodded in agreement. “Yes, Mr. Elliot is correct. I have all these papers stacked on my desk. You know, work and stuff …” I was rambling whatever else I could think of, anything to get away from this awful situation.
I rapidly bid them good-bye, uncaring how it made me look. The second I got away, I made a beeline towards the bathroom, needing to hide from the shame that seized me.
Someday … Someday, I could look at him without feeling any of these emotions, and I couldn’t wait until that happened. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of how I had thrown myself at him and how he had graciously declined my advances.