My So-Called Sex Life (How to Date, #1)(36)

We’ll slumber in separate rooms, elephant-free.



The next hour is spent in icy politeness in our compartment as we get ready for dinner. Squeezing awkwardly past each other with excuse mes and thank yous, we navigate suitcases, and the bathroom, and the anteroom that connects the bedroom and bathroom. Alone in the bedroom, I text TJ. I need a distraction, so I update him with the news that my life is so meta, I’m living in a book and will he please press control-alt-delete to set me free.

He replies with gifs of people cackling. He can be such an asshole. I love him to pieces.

But the chat only distracts me for so long. As I button my blouse in the bedroom, behind the closed door, I picture Axel changing for dinner in the anteroom.

Tugging on a shirt. Buttoning it up. Zipping up slacks. I fight off the desire to peek.

Maybe the elephant isn’t gone. Maybe it’s growing.





17





ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE


Hazel

Dinner could be a scene from a Merchant Ivory movie. I eat with the VIPs in the elegant dining car as the Italian countryside rolls by under the stars. The hum of the engine and the rattle of the wheels soundtrack our meal while servers in old-timey uniforms bring sumptuous dishes on silver platters, presenting them grandly.

It’s so turn of the last century, and I adore it.

But I feel like I’ve gone back in time for another reason—because Axel and I are frosty again.

All the good will from our time in Rome yesterday remained parked in the Eternal City.

We’re only two tables apart in the dining car, but I feel like there are miles between us. He’s talking to Steven the Nikon Man, his curly-haired wife—who I learned cut her reading teeth on cowboy romances as a girl before graduating to the red-hot chili reads, as she calls them—and the redheaded college girl, along with some other travelers. I’m seated with the Book Besties, finishing my meal.

“The sleeping compartments are so great,” Jersey Jackie says as she sets down her fork.

“We’re all sharing a compartment,” Alecia adds, gesturing to their friend Maria, who joined them at the station in Rome. She turns to me, brows lifted in curiosity. “I hear you are too?”

Word got around quickly. “Yes, we are. But we’re not together. It’s just a temporary thing tonight.”

That’s the truth, but I also don’t want to be shipped during this trip. We’d just disappoint readers with the fact that we are not together and will never be together. Lord knows we’ve already disappointed them enough, leaving Lacey hanging in our unfinished series. Readers were dying for her to finally get together with the sexy, broody guy in the suit who lived down the hall. Poor Lacey will be hanging on a cliff for all time.

Jackie frowns, patting my hand there, there style, like I’ve shared something sad. “Want to stay with us, hon?”

I’m touched she’d offer. But I don’t want to horn in on their bonding time. And I don’t want them to think I need to drown any sorrows. “I know how precious girls’ trips are,” I say. “I don’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense,” Maria says, jumping in. “You’d be an esteemed guest.”

Great. Now I’ll be a dick for turning them down. But I don’t want to put them out. “I truly appreciate it, but we’re fine, and it’ll all be sorted out tomorrow.” Time to change the subject, stat. “The seared tofu tabbouleh is amazing,” I say, pointing with my fork to my nearly finished dish. “I might need to put it in an upcoming story.”

Then Jackie adds, “And can you have a gal pack named Jackie and Alecia and Maria?”

I give them a conspiratorial grin. “I already wrote them into the work in progress.”

Jackie lets out a high-pitched sound.

Alecia rolls her eyes as she pats Jackie’s hand. “You are such a squealer.”

“I know. I’m just excited,” Jackie says, but she doesn’t care. She owns her excitement.

“Obviously,” Alecia adds dryly.

“Maybe the Jackie in my story can make dog bandanas,” I suggest, meeting the blonde’s gaze. “You could show me the ones you make, and it might help me with inspiration.”

The look on Jersey Jackie’s face is pure delight as she grabs her phone.

“Show her the one with the skulls,” Maria says. She’s the bossy one in the crew.

Jackie nods enthusiastically then shows me a seriously cute design of sassy skulls. We talk more about her fledgling business, and when the dinner service ends, I say goodnight. Axel’s already taken off, so as I head to the compartment, I brace myself for more cool politeness.

I knock before I open the door, listening for his voice.

No answer. I head inside, racing though the anteroom and into the bedroom. If I get ready for bed quickly, I can burrow under the covers, pretend I’m asleep when he returns, and avoid any more awkward niceness.

As I grab my toothpaste and toothbrush, the main door swings open with a creak.

So much for my big plans.

“Are you decent?” he calls out.

That’s the Axel I know, not wasting breath on hi or hello. But with all these new feelings jockeying for space inside me, I’m at a loss for a clever response, so I simply say, “Yes.”