Maybe Someday(91)

Then she heads straight to Ridge’s room. I hear

her rummaging through stuff, and she eventually

comes out with a bag in one hand and her car

keys in the other. I’m still standing motionless

with my hands on the door. She continues to keep

her eyes focused on the floor as she passes me

again, but this time, she makes a quick movement

with her hand and wipes away a tear.

She walks out the door, down the stairs, and

straight to her car, never speaking a word.

I wanted her to tell me she hated me. I wanted

her to punch me and scream at me and call me a

bitch. I wanted her to give me a reason to be

angry, because right now, my heart is breaking

for her, and I know there isn’t a damn thing I

504/692

could say to make her better. I know this for a

fact, because I’ve recently been in the same situ-

ation that Ridge and I have just put her in.

We just made her a Sydney.

Ridge

The third and final text comes through when I

pull up to the hospital. I know it’s the final text,

because it’s pulled from the conversation I had

with Sydney less than two hours ago. It’s the

very last thing I messaged her.

Maggie: “Don’t thank me, Sydney. You

shouldn’t thank me, because I failed

miserably at trying not to fall in love with

you.”

I can’t take any more. I throw the phone into

the passenger seat and exit the vehicle, then

sprint into the hospital and straight up to her

room. I push open the door and rush inside, pre-

paring to do whatever I can to persuade her to

hear me out.

When I’m inside her room, I’m instantly

gutted.

506/692

She’s gone.

I press my palms against my forehead and pace

the empty room, trying to figure out how I can

take it all back. She read everything. Every single conversation I’ve ever had with Sydney on my

laptop. Every single honest feeling I’ve shared,

every joke we’ve made, every flaw we’ve listed.

Why was I so damn careless?

Twenty-four years I’ve lived without ever ex-

periencing this type of hatred. It’s the type of

hatred that completely overwhelms the con-

science. It’s the type of hatred that excuses other-

wise inexcusable actions. It’s the type of hatred

that can be felt in every facet of the body and in

every inch of the soul. I’ve never known it until

this moment. I’ve never hated anything or anyone

with as much intensity as I hate myself right now.

Chapter Twenty

Sydney

“Are you crying?” Bridgette asks without com-

passion as she comes through the front door.

Warren follows closely behind her, but he pauses

the second his eyes meet mine.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting mo-

tionless on the couch, but it still isn’t long

enough for reality to have been absorbed just yet.

I’m still hoping this is a dream. Or a nightmare.

This isn’t how things were supposed to turn out.

“Sydney?” Warren says hesitantly. He knows

something is wrong, because I’m sure my

swollen, bloodshot eyes clearly give me away.

I attempt to form an answer, but I fail to come

up with one. As much a part of this as I am, I still

508/692

feel that Ridge and Maggie’s situation isn’t mine

to be sharing.

Luckily, Warren doesn’t have to ask me what’s

wrong, because I’m spared by Ridge’s presence.

He’s barging through the front door, taking both

Bridgette’s and Warren’s attention off of me.

He pushes between the two of them and heads

straight for his room. He swings open the door,

then comes out through the bathroom seconds

later. He looks at Warren and signs something.

Warren shrugs and signs back, but I can’t follow

their conversation at all.

When Ridge responds again, Warren looks dir-

ectly at me. “What does he mean?” Warren asks

me.

I shrug. “I failed to learn sign language

between now and the last time we spoke, Warren.

How the hell should I know?”

I don’t know where my unwarranted sarcasm

is coming from, but I feel Warren should have

anticipated that one.

509/692

He shakes his head. “Where’s Maggie,

Sydney?” Warren points at the counter toward

Ridge’s computer. “He says she had his com-

puter, so she had to come by here after she left

the hospital.”

I look at Ridge to answer but can’t deny the

fact that jealousy is coursing through me at

watching his reaction when it comes to Maggie.

“I don’t know where she went. All she did was

walk in, set your computer down, and grab her