Make a Wish (Spark House #3)(93)
Avery’s expression is sympathetic. “There are. But that doesn’t mean it’s not fixable. You’re a tender soul, and he’s been battling with his own feelings. I don’t think it’s as simple as the accident setting him off, or the influence of his mother-in-law. I think it’s everything piled on top of each other, and it was too much for him. Especially with the way he reacted to Peyton getting hurt, and him being fixated on it potentially having been worse. When was the last time he was at a hospital? If it was when his wife died, then would his reaction be more understandable?”
I nod slowly. “Yes, it would make a lot more sense. And Peyton’s birthday is soon, which means the anniversary of her death is coming up. Maybe I need to call him.” I reach for my phone, but Avery stops me.
“Just because you realize what’s going on doesn’t mean he does. Give him some time to think. It might take more than a few days for him to get his feelings sorted out, especially since it seems like he’s been keeping them buried for a long time.”
“How long do you think it will take? A week? More? Less? Do you think it will be months like it was for you and Declan?” I can’t imagine hanging in limbo for that long. Although for Avery and Declan, there was ten years of love and friendship as the foundation. They had lots to build on. Gavin and I have a challenging history fraught with loss and guilt. And maybe that’s part of the reason why I’ve been so accommodating. Maybe it isn’t just Gavin who needs to do the work; maybe it’s me too.
Avery gives my hand a sympathetic squeeze. “It’s hard to say. You’re the first person he’s really let in since Marcie died, and the last time the two of you got close, he ended up moving away. That’s a pattern he needs to see on his own. Give him some breathing room. Message in a few days to see how he’s doing. If he’s receptive, ask if he wants to talk. Then leave the ball in his court.”
“Okay. What about Peyton?”
“She’s got lots of love in her life. She’ll be okay.”
I know she’s right, but the question is, will I?
* * *
The next few days suck. A lot. But while my personal life seems to be imploding, the Spark House franchise is taking off. So I don’t have a whole lot of time to wallow in self-pity during my nine-to-five. I save that for when I climb into my bed, struggling to sleep, and wondering if we’ll be able to get past this or not.
“I’m sorry I can’t be at the grand opening this weekend,” Gran says on our biweekly call. Gran’s lips are pulled down in a frown which contradicts her sunny-yellow dress and her equally sunny hat covered in a pink flower print.
“It’s okay, Gran. We know it’s a long trip, and you’ll be back soon enough. Besides, these kinds of things are so busy, we wouldn’t have time to really visit. It’s better for you to wait until the baby is born.” Gran is planning a trip around when Avery has the baby, and we decided that was more important.
“I know, but I still would have liked to have been there for this. You girls have worked so hard to get Spark House where it is. Now, tell me how things are going with you and Gavin. I know you were worried about his mother-in-law the last time we talked. Has that gotten any better?”
I purse my lips and tip my chin up, trying to keep my emotions in check.
“Uh-oh. What happened, honey?”
“I broke it off, but not because I wanted to.” I fill her in on all the details, from the weekend getaway that started out okay but quickly went downhill, to Peyton’s fall and Gavin’s overreaction, and me not being able to handle being second to a ghost. “Did I do the right thing?”
She nods slowly, her smile sad. “I think you already know the answer to that. But if it helps, I can confirm what you already know.”
“It really hurts, Gran. I don’t know what to do or how to make this better.”
“That’s the hardest part, isn’t it? Knowing that you can’t make it better, no matter how much you want to. I felt that way after we lost your mom and dad. And then again after I lost your granddad. My heart was so broken. When I met Luciano, I tried so hard not to like him, and falling in love with him was bittersweet. I’d spent years loving your grandad. It was hard to give myself permission to love again. I wonder if it’s the same for Gavin.”
“What do I do? What can I do?” This is what I need: direction, guidance, a hand to hold, and Gran’s wisdom.
“Be strong, be patient, be empathetic, but don’t allow him to keep stepping on your feelings in a bid to protect his. All you can do is hope that he’s going to be able to let go of the past so he can live in the present. He needs time to sort that out. And you need time to get over the hurt of it all.”
“It’s not just Gavin I miss, it’s Peyton too,” I admit.
“Mmm.” She adjusts the brim of her hat, her smile soft and knowing. “She’s a special little girl, and you have so much in common. I have a feeling she’ll be a great ally for you in the coming days.”
“I hope you’re right about that.”
“Neither of you were in a place to be each other’s person back when you were Peyton’s nanny. Things certainly are different now. I think he’s too smart to waste this second chance.” Gran was the only one who knew why I struggled after they moved and how responsible I felt.