Make a Wish (Spark House #3)(102)

“How much glitter did you go through to make this?”

“A ridiculous amount. And it will totally be worth wearing for the next week or more if it means you can forgive me?” I can see the hope and fear written all over his gorgeous face.

I nod once and sweep a tear away. “I can forgive you, Gavin. Love is never easy, and your path has been harder than most. I know Marcie was your best friend and the future you thought you had was ripped away from you. I don’t expect or want you to forget her. But what I do want is for you to open up to me about her. If we’re going to make this work, I want you to talk to me. She was a huge part of your life, and she gave you Peyton. You can’t see her and not think about the person you lost.”

“You’re right. I can’t and shouldn’t try to keep those parts of my past to myself,” he agrees.

It’s the nervous, uncomfortable way he says it, stiffly, like he’s still trying to disassociate from the pain, the joy, and the love that he’s held so close to his heart for so long that makes me wary.

“My biggest fear though, Gavin, is how you’re going to react when things invariably get hard again, or our relationship is tested. The anniversary of Marcie’s death is coming up, and I know that’s going to be difficult for you. Especially with me in the picture. I’m afraid that I’m going to keep putting my heart on the line for you and that you’re just going to run away again. You’ve done it before—” Before he can interject, I hold my hand up. “It’s not the same anymore, I know, because we’ve both grown a lot since then, but this is your pattern, and it can’t keep happening. It’s not healthy for me, or Peyton, or you.”

He nods. “You’re right. But I want this to work, Harley. I want there to be an us, and I understand if maybe you need some time and you need me to prove that I’m not going to cut and run again. I love you, and Peyton loves you. I can see a future with you. Just give me the chance to show you I’m in this.”

I close my eyes and tip my head back. I know we’re only scratching the surface, that there are more conversations to be had. When I open my eyes, he’s chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

“We’ll talk to someone regularly? Like couples’ counseling? And you have to stick with it even if you hate it and it’s hard.”

“I know. Especially if the alternative is not having you in my life. This past week … it hasn’t been good. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on how I’ve handled things, and I don’t want to risk losing you again.”

I take a step forward, bringing me into his personal space. “I want this to work too, Gavin. But if that’s going to happen, we need to have open lines of communication. We have to talk things through, and I need to know when you’re struggling and where that’s coming from. I can handle all your ghosts. I just don’t want to be second to them anymore.”

“You were never second. I just didn’t know how to let go of the past so I could start living in the present.”

“It’s not about letting go. It’s about giving yourself permission to remember all the good things and the bad, to talk about them, feel the love and the sadness and hurt in equal measure, and relinquish the guilt. You don’t need to hold on to things that are going to drag you down, and if you’ll let me, I’m going to do my best to be the hand you reach for when you need to be pulled back up.”

He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, pressing them against my knuckle. “I love you. More than I thought I was capable of. I feel like you’ve put me back together.”

“I love you too. You fill my heart.”

He drops his head, eyes on my lips. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

He tips my chin up and brushes his lips over mine, one, twice, three times before he presses forward, trapping me between my counter and his body. “I missed you so much.” He cups my face between his palms and slants his mouth over mine, showing me with actions and words how much I mean to him.





Twenty-Nine


SNAPSHOTS OF LOVE


HARLEY

“She’s going to love it so much, Harley. You’ve really outdone yourself.”

If I was smiling any harder, my face would crack. “I couldn’t have done it without your help,” I tell Karen and then turn to Judith. “Or yours.”

They both put their arms around me and give me an affectionate squeeze. The maternal, warm kind I’ve missed so much over the past decade and a half. Grandma Spark is an amazing woman, but she wasn’t a big hugger.

It turns out that both Gavin’s mom and his mother-in-law are big on the squeezes.

There have been some significant changes over the past month when it comes to mine and Karen’s relationship. She called me the day after Gavin and I got back together and asked if we could go for coffee.

I warily said yes. If I wanted things to work between Gavin and me, I needed to come to terms with the fact that Karen was always going to be a part of Peyton’s life, and if things went the way I hoped they would with Gavin—mine as well. And that meant finding a way to have a relationship that wasn’t full of strain and animosity.

The apology was exactly what I needed, and it seemed, so did she.

We cried together, and in the end it felt cathartic and gave us the fresh start we needed.