Magical Midlife Madness (Leveling Up #1)(25)

Stopping, he adjusted his hold so I was balanced in just one of his massive arms, proving that he was much stronger than he looked, and he looked super strong. Moving slowly, methodically, as if he weren’t balancing my weight in one arm, he tucked the knife into my purse and looped the strap over his arm before resuming the two-arm hold.

“Are you magic?” I asked, surprised and very close to passing out. “Because what?”

“What?” he asked, no strain evident in his voice.

“I feel light.”

“You are light.”

“Lies.” I rested my head back on the worst pillow in the history of pillows. It could’ve been a rock for all the give it had. “I didn’t save you, those guys scampered off. Wait—is this you looking for gratitude or an apology or something? Because as I said, those guys scampered off.”

“They scampered off because you are as fierce as you are crazy.”

“Hey, I’m drunk and I have the laws of defense on my side. Screw them.”

His chuckle took nothing away from his sleek, graceful movements as he carried me to Ivy House. “Exactly. You made that easy and—”

“Madam.”

“Hah!” I kicked the air and swung my fist around. Mr. Tom leaned back and my hand sailed through nothingness, right by his head. “Damn it, Mr. Tom. Like…why? Why do you always sneak up on me?” I clutched my chest, then my stomach. It flipped menacingly. “Down.”

“What?” Austin asked.

“Down!” I struggled out of his arms, pushed Mr. Tom out of the way, stopped, turned, kicked him, and then staggered toward the bushes. “Go away. Everyone go away. Things might escalate from here.”

“Who did this?” Mr. Tom asked Austin.

“I did this,” I said, taking deep breaths. Holding my unsettled stomach. “But why didn’t you warn me about the alcohol? Don’t eat the sandwiches, but what about the alcohol?”

“She’s fine. I’ve got her,” Austin said.

“No.” I looked around, seeing Ivy House just down the road. I was almost home. Tonight I would probably get intimate with the toilets. “Just go away. All of you. I’m fine. Honest. Super good. Definitely awesome.” I did not feel awesome.

“Leave,” Austin said, the command in his tone sending a shock through my body.

My stomach rolled. I groaned. “Why?” I asked no one in particular. “Why didn’t I leave the first couple times I said I should go? Why?”

“But Austin Steele, she’s my charge. I will—”

“Go!” he barked.

I sat down on the grass of someone else’s property. I crawled to the side so I was in the weeds and off their lawn. “I’m too old for this.”

“It’s my fault.” Austin knelt beside me. “You’re right. If I’d let things be, you’d be home by now, throwing up in peace.”

“This is true.”

“But I’m selfishly glad I kept you out. I’ve never had that much fun in an almost altercation in my life. You single-handedly scared those boys crazy. I’ve never had that effect.”

“Bully for you. Did Mr. Tom leave?”

“Yes.”

I shook my head. “Why do people always use your whole name?”

He sighed and looked up at the sky. He sat down next to me. “It’s a show of respect. I don’t expect you to understand this, but they aren’t my pack so they can’t technically call me alpha. But they respect me as such, and thus they use my whole name.”

“You’re right, I do not understand that. I am not going to call you by your full name, I’ll tell you that right now. The lot of you are crazy. I’m not climbing aboard that train.”

“And yet, you just debated on the merits of slitting a perfect stranger from neck to navel versus navel to neck, and decided on stabbing and ripping any way you chose.”

“Yeah. That’s just logic. Besides, we were in a battle.”

“Ah.”

“I guess I shouldn’t lie down right here and go to sleep.”

“No.”

“Niamh can really drink. I mean…she’s twice my age. I didn’t realize what I was getting into.” I took a deep breath and swayed. I felt his hand steadying me.

“Not many do.”

“Alpha. Why would someone call you alpha? What kind of an ego trip is that? And why would someone throw rocks at their neighbor? Why would someone create a labyrinth in the back of a house to trap kids? I don’t understand this place.”

“It defies logic.”

He had that exactly right. It defied logic. But then, it was a small town. Clearly small towns had their own brand of weirdness. A big town would probably ring Austin’s bell. A person didn’t stop to confront someone in a bad part of a big town. That was a way to get you shot.

“Tomorrow is day one on the job, and I’ll be hungover,” I muttered.

His sigh was soft. “What will you do first?”

“Yell at Mr. Tom for no reason, probably.” I tried to lie down. His hand stopped my backward motion. I pushed against it. It was like pushing against concrete. I thought of some choice words I wanted to call him.

“Why do you call Earl Mr. Tom?”