Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness, #2)(18)

“What is it you want to talk about, Makenna?” The words came out more clipped than he’d intended, but he was hanging on by a thread right now. Very thin and fraying in the middle.

“Come sit,” she said.

“That’s okay.” He forced a deep breath and stayed planted right where he was.

She frowned, her gaze studying his face like she was trying to solve a puzzle. “We fell asleep so fast last night that we never had a chance to finish the conversation from the bathroom.” Makenna gave him a little smile, clearly trying to coax some reaction from him. “So.” She sagged onto the edge of the bed. “The short story is that three years ago, Cameron and I were engaged for about five minutes. It ended when he gave me an ultimatum. I’d landed the job I wanted in DC and he had fellowship offers from hospitals here and in DC. It all could’ve worked.”

Hearing her talk about the life she might’ve been leading right now—a life with another man—settled a weight onto Caden’s shoulders. And the reason why was clear—he was all in. All in love with Makenna. Whether he wanted to admit it or not. Whether he wanted to face it or not. Whether he believed that meant certain doom for her or him or both of them, or not.

For fourteen years he’d been alone, purposely keeping others out, purposely living life as a loner, purposely avoiding relationships except with a select few friends. He’d hooked up with women over the years, but he’d purposely distanced himself from the ones who seemed to want more with him. Building a wall around himself had been a survival mechanism after his family had been destroyed, and then it had become a habit, one he’d never even tried to unlearn until Makenna.

“But Cam decided that the fellowship at Penn was more prestigious,” she said, staring up at Caden. “And he said if I really loved him, I’d stay in Philly and find another job. Because he wouldn’t do a long-distance relationship, so if I wouldn’t stay in Philly, the whole relationship was off.” She waved a hand. “We had a big fight. But it made me realize he wasn’t the right man for me, because the right man would never ask me to give up my dream for his, especially when he had another great and still very prestigious option that would allow both of us to have what we wanted. So I took the job and moved to DC and we just sorta ended.”

“Okay,” Caden said.

“So that’s the backstory.” She heaved a deep breath.

He frowned. “The backstory to what?”

“To a conversation I had with Cameron last night that I want you to know about.”

Caden swallowed. Hard. As much as he’d wanted her to tell him, now he was scared to hear what might come out of her mouth. “Which was?”

“Cameron asked for a second chance,” she said, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “And said he wants to try again and that he still loves me. I wanted you to—”

“Do you still love him?” he forced himself to ask.

She flew off the bed and came right up to him, one of her hands settling on his crossed arms, one cupping his face. “No. Not for a long time. I told him that I’m with you, that I’m serious about you, that it’s too late and too much time has passed.” Makenna shook her head, her eyes pleading. “You’re the only one I…that I have feelings for. I care about you so much, Caden. Please tell me that you know that.”

“Are you…are you sure that you don’t want to consider what he’s offering?” Voicing the question made Caden nauseous, but if he didn’t ask her, he’d just wonder about it. Better to get it all out in the open. His anxiety needed to hear her say the words. “He’s a high-powered specialist. He’ll be able to give you a good life. And he’s known your family forever.”

Makenna blanched and her whole face frowned. “Oh, my God. I don’t want to consider his offer. I don’t want him. I want you. I have a great life with you right now. Caden.” She forced his arms to part and pressed herself against him, both of her hands cupping his face. “You’re the only man I want. You.”

For a moment he didn’t say anything because he couldn’t. Relief made his throat go tight and his chest ache with pressure.

“Do you remember the night we met, before we went to bed? I mentioned how late it had gotten and you thought that was me trying to tell you to go?” Caden nodded. That night had been so amazing with her that he hadn’t been able to avoid wondering when the other shoe would drop. He’d thought it had been that moment. “Do you remember what I said?”

“You called bullshit on me,” he said, the memory pulling a little of the heaviness off his shoulders.

Makenna smiled. “I totally did. And I said, just so there’s no more weirdness or uncertainty, I like you.” He nodded, the memory tugging at the corner of his lips. “Well, I’m saying it again right now. Just so there’s no more weirdness or uncertainty, I like you. A lot.” She nailed him with a stare, her blue eyes blazing.

“Shit. I get caught in my head sometimes, Makenna,” he said, throwing out a lifeline.

She caught it. “Oh, Caden, I know you do, but it’s okay. I hated to even dump all this on you, but I also didn’t want to keep it from you. That didn’t feel right.”

Knock, knock.

“Yeah?” she called, not letting him break the embrace.