Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness, #2)(22)

It was the endings that were different.

In one, no one ever came to rescue Caden from the accident, and he was still there now—a living hell he could never escape, blood still dripping down over his face from the wound on his head.

In another, his brother Sean’s eyelids flipped open in his lifeless face, his eyes sightless in death but so accusing as they stared at Caden. Sean moaned, “It shoulda been me. I shoulda been the one to live,” before disappearing into thin air.

In the one that just had him gasping awake, it was Ian who first showed up on the scene, and when he looked in and saw Caden hanging there, he just said, “She deserves better than you,” and walked away as Caden screamed and screamed.

Jesus.

Caden looked to his side to find that Makenna had turned over at some point. She must’ve been exhausted for his bullshit not to have disturbed her, because he knew his nightmares often woke her up. Just another thing he hated about himself, for her sake.

He blew out a long breath. Caden was so f*cking exhausted. And it was an exhaustion that had absolutely nothing to do with last night’s lack of sleep. It was an exhaustion he carried in his very soul, one that weighed down his spirit with grief and survivor’s guilt and self-doubt, and he didn’t know how he’d ever fix that. Or what it should mean if he couldn’t.

Finally, Makenna stirred beside him. “Hey,” she said, giving him a sleepy smile.

God, she was so very pretty. It struck him dumb every time. “Hey.”

“Did you sleep?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. Some, anyway. If she hadn’t heard his nightmares, he didn’t need to burden her with them.

“I must not have slept enough,” she said, making a face. “I’m kinda nauseous.”

“It’s three o’clock in the afternoon,” Caden said. “We’ve missed two meals. Maybe food will help.”

They threw on clothes and found Mike, Patrick, and Ian congregated around the island in the kitchen.

“Daddy,” Makenna said, rushing up to him. “How are you feeling?”

He huffed out a little laugh. “A little beat-up, but I’ll be okay, peanut.”

“I wish I could stay longer,” she said, leaning her head against her father. With a grimace, Mike put his arm around her and softly hugged her in. The gesture was so casual in its intimacy and tenderness that it stole Caden’s breath. Not because there was anything particularly unique about a father hugging his child, but because after the accident, Caden’s father never once hugged him again.

The accident had left his old man with his own demons, leaving no room for the father-son relationship they’d once had. And it had made a much younger version of himself believe that his own father wished Caden hadn’t survived either. He’d felt like such a burden to the man, for years. It was part of why he’d started donning the armor of his ink.

“Don’t you worry about it,” Mike said. “Collin and I are going to be fine.”

“Do you want to stay and take the train home when you’re ready?” Caden asked. He felt bad that his having to work tomorrow cut the weekend short, but the price of getting the holiday off was a series of back-to-back twenty-four/seven shifts for the next few days.

Makenna blew out a breath and braced her hand on the counter. “I don’t know. I have to work on Monday anyway.”

“Are you okay?” Patrick asked. “You’re kinda green.”

“No sleep and no food,” she said.

“What do you want?” Caden asked. “I’ll make you something.”

“We were just talking about food, too,” Mike said. “We still have plenty of leftovers.”

“Why don’t you two go sit down?” Caden said to Mike and Makenna. “We can take charge of dinner.” He looked at Patrick.

“Absolutely,” Patrick said.

Makenna pressed up onto tiptoes to give Caden a quick kiss as she passed him. “Thank you.” It was the first time they’d done something more than hold hands or sit close together in front of everyone, and Caden braced for a reaction. But there was none. Not even from Ian, who’d been very quiet around him since the accident.

The three of them heated up the food and set it out on the table. And even though Ian’s derisive words were still pinging around the back of Caden’s brain, he liked this family. Despite Ian’s snubs. Mike was loving and friendly and generous. Patrick was a good guy and a straight shooter, and they worked together as well in the kitchen as they had on the scene the night before. Collin was talkative and funny, easy going and accepting. And Makenna…Makenna was everything good and light and loving.

Soon they were all gathered around to eat, including Collin and Shima, who came down when the smells of turkey and stuffing started wafting through the house. Collin was moving a little stiffly and looking a little bleary-eyed but otherwise he’d be fine. And Caden was glad. He’d hate to see anything happen to the family Makenna loved so much. Because she deserved everything.

The meal was subdued compared to the conversation of the day before, but it was real. Real life. And for the first time, Caden actually let himself imagine being a part of it.

*

The past couple of days had kicked Makenna’s butt. First, the unexpected conversation with Cameron. Then, the accident. Then, the stomach virus she’d picked up that had left her queasy and exhausted. And finally, she’d barely seen Caden in the four days since they’d gotten home because he’d had back-to-back shifts that had allowed him to get the holiday off in the first place.