Love Beyond Words (City Lights, #1)(80)

Julian woke up the next morning the same as he had the day before, and the day before that—three days since that awful night at Natalie’s place: with a pain in his heart that slugged him like a mallet. The clock on the side table showed that it was after noon. Always an early riser, this new habit felt alien to him. But then his entire world was different now. His pillows beckoned him to retreat into sleep and he almost succumbed. But the conversation with Natalie replayed in his mind, like a terrible song stuck on repeat. Only this time, at the end, he recalled a different conversation.

Go to Rijeka. Make your peace.

Will you come with me?

Of course I will.

Julian squeezed his eyes shut for he could remember the way she’d held him and how soft her hair was against his cheek. He thought he would have given anything to hold her again.

“I could go,” he said aloud, countering his thoughts. “I could go and when I come back I could tell her…” He didn’t know what would happen in his father’s homeland. But he’d have tried. He’d have done something that might change everything.

Julian threw off his blankets and took a much-needed shower. The headache of a mild hangover thudded dully between his eyes but washed away under the hot water. Yes, this was something he could do. Something he could show her and maybe, just maybe it would be enough.

After the shower, he dressed in a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and a blue sweater that Natalie loved because she said it was the exact color of his eyes. The mallet slugged him again, and he laid his hand on his chest. Keep going. Just keep going.

He packed enough for two weeks, hoping whatever it was he needed to do there wouldn’t take so long, and trundled the small luggage bag into the kitchen. He searched around for his cell phone to call the car service. He hadn’t seen his phone, he realized, in several days. He turned to the wall phone and then realized he had no idea how to get to Croatia. It would surely take more than two flights, lots of connections…

David could help him. He’d planned all his travel to Uruguay when Julian had been researching Coronation and had done a fantastic job. He thought to call David but remembered he was staying right here. Something about his mother being ill and his own apartment was being fumigated for…rats? No, termites.

Julian went to the office and heard nothing from inside. It was late for David to still be sleeping, but Julian didn’t want to barge in and startle him. He opened the door quietly to find it empty and a mess. Two bottles of Jack Daniels, a liter of Pepsi, and a cocktail glass half-filled with both sat on the coffee table beside the couch. The air smelled of sweetly tinged alcohol, and the remnants of fast food meals were strewn about. David’s sport coat hung over the end of the couch like a flaccid tongue.

Julian frowned at the mess then remembered David had told him once that he had always needed to be careful about his alcohol intake; Julian wondered what prompted this binge.

Everything’s all turned around, he thought, leaving the office. He had almost closed the door when he saw his cell phone on the floor near the couch. Odd. I must have dropped it. He took it and left, closing the door behind him.

In the kitchen, he turned the phone on and looked for missed calls from Natalie, messages that said she’d had a change of heart and wanted to talk. There were none. There was nothing, as a matter of fact. His call history had been erased. That was odd too.

He used his cell phone to go online and scrolled through a list of airlines that would take him to Croatia. Lufthansa had a flight from SFO to Zagreb with one layover in Frankfurt. And it left in three and a half hours.

Julian hesitated. He felt unprepared, rushed, unwilling to venture into his father’s territory, afraid of what he’d find or that he’d find nothing. Then he thought of living the rest of his life without Natalie and called the airline.

#

David raced back to Julian’s place, panic streaking through him and making his hands tremble. He’d stepped out to replenish his liquor supplies that had dwindled faster than was safe. But it couldn’t be helped; a mild buzz was the only thing that kept his nerves from feeling like they’d explode at any moment.

In the parking lot of the convenience store he discovered Julian’s cell phone wasn’t in his coat; it must have fallen out. He could be calling Natalie right now…That problem joined the other, constant worry that gnawed on his nerves. How on earth am I going to stage a break-in when Julian’s here all the time?

The plan to steal the latest book was a good one, if only he could leap frog over the actual doing of it and get right to the part where he and Julian lived happily ever after. He snorted a laugh. Nothing was ever that easy for him. Nothing.

At the front door, David heard the sounds of Julian moving about the kitchen. His chest constricted and his ulcer flared in a perfect harmony of dread. He opened the door and tried not to run inside.

“Oh, hello. Good to see you up and about,” he said, injecting false cheer into his tone. Julian was not only up, he was showered, dressed, and tucking his cell phone into his back pocket. Oh my god, he knows he knows he knows…“Who were you talking to?” David asked, forcing his voice into a normal range.

“The car service. I’m going to the airport,” Julian answered, and David watched him stuff his passport into his leather shoulder bag.

“Oh. Where…uh, where are you going?”

“Croatia,” Julian said, and checked his watch. “If I make the flight.” He looked at David with concern. “And how are you, David? You don’t look well, to tell you the truth.”