Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(66)

I try to call him back, but he dodges my calls. I text him as I don’t want to leave him a message. I’m surprised he could understand anything I’d say.

Me: I’ve never wanted to make you feel like I’m not telling you what’s going on. I promise I’ll tell you everything once I come back. I still have to process some of the things I found out. I hope you can forgive me and will understand. I love you.

I shoot a quick text to my brother before going back to sleep. I feel like sleep is the only thing that’ll get me through this f*cking mess that my life has become.

Me: Hey Frank, still alive but going back to sleep. I feel like death.

Frank: I’ll stop by tonight after work and make sure you eat something and don’t die. I’d feel responsible.

Me: Alright, see you tonight.

I put my phone to the side as sleep claims me again.

What has my life become?





June 3, 2016

It’s been two weeks since I last spoke to Nate, and I hate it.

Besides a couple of text exchanges, we haven’t been talking, and it’s my fault. I’ve been dodging his calls. When I called him the last time, he sounded weird and was very mysterious. He refused to tell me what had happened to him or when he’d be coming back. He still hasn’t told me where he is, and it’s driving me crazy. I want nothing more than being with him, but f*ck it all to hell, I refuse to let people lie to me and keep things from me again. If he wants to talk to me, he can come and do it in person, hence why I haven’t been answering him. I’ve wanted to, though, and I’ve almost slipped many times, but I’m trying to stay strong because I know that when it comes to Nate, I’ll just cave in after two seconds.

“What’s on your mind?” Haven asks me.

“Same as usual.” I blow out a breath and throw my phone on the coffee table as it rings once again.

“Are you really still dodging his calls?” she groans.

“Yes, if he can’t talk to me face to face then that’s his problem. I’m not going to let him toy with my heart just because he can’t grow a pair and come talk to me.”

“My God you’re stubborn! Maybe there’s a good explanation as to why he can’t speak to you face to face and why it’s taking him so long…”

“And what might that reason be?” I ask, digging into the peanut butter ice cream she brought back from the kitchen.

“I don’t know. You said he had something to solve. I guess for Maddie and the arranged wedding. So he must have gone to his father. Maybe it didn’t go well, and you never know what happened. Robert doesn’t seem to be the type of guy to be quiet and calm once you sit down and talk to him.” She tries to reason.

“I know, but we’ve been so close to the past few months, even before we got together. I don’t get why with just one text he changed his whole behavior with me.”

“You don’t know what people went through. He might not have told you everything. When people go through something traumatizing at a young age, they tend to repress it. I’m sure once he’s back he’ll tell you everything that’s happened. You’ll just have to be patient. I know you can do it, and I know you two will be stronger than before if you’ll just stop ignoring his calls. He’s making the first step, just accept it.” She groans as my phone goes off again.

“Maybe you’re right.” I sigh.

“I know I’m right. I thought with Spencer being out of town for the weekend for his photography course that we’d have some fun like before and enjoy ourselves, but you’re moping around, and I don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way.”

“How do you exactly feel?”

“Like I’ve lost him,” I say, defeated.

“Then why are you ignoring his phone calls? Why aren’t you just accepting the fact that you’re a stubborn ass and have to suck it up and pick up the damn phone when it rings? You want to talk to him, but you refuse to pick up. It makes no f*cking sense to me!” She throws her hands up and takes the container of ice cream from my hands.

“Because I don’t want to do it over the phone.”

“Do what?”

“Fight?”

“Why would you two fight?”

“Because that’s what we did the last time we spoke on the phone.”

“How is that going to make it a reoccurrence if you answer him?”

“I don’t know. He refuses to explain what’s been going on, and I can’t see him wanting to do it this time around.” I shrug.

“You know, for someone as smart as you, you’re really stupid sometimes.”

“Charming.” I glare at her.

“He’s reaching out to you! He obviously wants to talk or at least check on you.”

“Maybe.”

“Oh don’t you maybe me. You’re going to answer the phone the next time he calls, or I’ll do it, and you won’t like it,” she threatens. Haven is always passionate when it comes to her friends and their happiness, and this is no exception.

“Alright, alright, keep your panties on.”

“You know what? I don’t feel like staying in for once. You’re going to go get dressed. We’re going to go to the Vault. You need to relax and have some fun. I really don’t like this sad and unhappy Matt. It’s so not you, and it’s creeping me out.” She frowns looking up at me.