Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(61)

“I love you too.” Tears pool in his eyes, and I hate myself for this, but I have to do it.

I walk away from the party and walk back to the hotel, all the while feeling like I’m leaving my heart back on that beach where Matt is. My heart feels like it’s shattering in pieces the further I get from Matt.

I hate myself for lying to him.

I hate them for pulling us apart.

I hate myself for letting them do it.





After Nate left, I couldn’t really enjoy myself. I knew something was playing on his mind despite the obvious, and in result, it was playing with my mind.

As the party died down, we all went back to our rooms. I expected to see Nate or at least a note saying that he left, but I found neither. His stuff was gone. I stood there in the middle of the room speechless, heartbroken, and confused. He said he wasn’t leaving me or breaking up with me, yet he’s gone, and I don’t know where he went or what happened.

I went to check in with Maddie, and she was a mess. She came to stay with me, and we talked all night. I hoped it would help how I was feeling and to understand things, but she didn’t know more than I did.

Nate came to talk to her last night and broke the news to her. He arranged that she and her friends would leave at the same time as me and booked the room for two more nights for them, but neither of us knows why. I’m not sure what Nate is going to do, but it’s worrying me. I hope he doesn’t do something reckless.

Neither of us slept last night until the early hours of the morning, and I was awoken by my phone ringing in my hand a couple of times. I checked it and got a couple of messages from Nate.

Nate: Hey, baby, while I was on the plane, I started thinking about what my life would be had I never met you. The only answer I have is that I don’t want to imagine living life without you. It’s not worth living. I’m sorry I left you. I never meant for things to be this way. For my family to f*ck with us or rather let them f*ck with my head that I take the coward way out and leave in the middle of the night. I have to fix things. If not for me, for Maddie. I refuse to let her go through what my siblings and I are going through. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me one day. If you can, I’ll come back to you, and we can be together. If you can’t, just say the word and I’ll leave you alone and move on. I love you, Matt. You’re the only one who’s ever made me feel like I’m worth something and worth the fight. You and I together is the only thing I’ve ever been sure of.

Needless to say, I was a crying mess after reading it. That was three days ago, and I still don’t know what he has planned to solve the issue they have. But by the sound of it, it can’t be anything good.

Maddie and I had two more days to spend at the hotel after he left, and we really didn’t have the heart to stay there and celebrate anything. Haven instantly caught up on the fact that I was a moody bastard and insisted on staying with me. I had to threaten her that she wouldn’t get any more donuts from me if she didn’t go and enjoy herself and Spencer. She reluctantly accepted and checked on me every couple of hours. If either of us weren’t replying fast enough, she's threatening to come and hunt us down. That’s the only thing that was amusing me while I was still there, and I feel guilty for not being my happy self for the rest of the vacation.

I’ve tried to call him countless times but to no avail. He’s not picking up his phone. Maddie keeps telling me that he’s okay, but I don’t know if I can believe her. From what they’ve both said, their father can be very extreme in his reactions, and I wouldn’t put it past him to hurt Nate.

I’ve been home for a day, and I still haven’t heard any noise from next door, and his car hasn’t been in the driveway since I got home. I’ve texted him that I still wanted us to be together, and he read my messages but hasn’t replied; that’s what confuses me the most.

Where could he be? If he told his parents straightaway when he got back, then surely he’d be home by now.

Did he move out already?

Did something happen to him?

I’m driving myself crazy with those stupid questions.

I’m usually a rather patient guy, but for things like this, when my heart is at stake I’m not patient at all.

The doorbell rings, and I jump to open the door quicker than I ever have. Much to my disappointment, it’s Brody.

“Don’t look so thrilled to see me,” he scoffs.

“Sorry, I thought it was someone else.” I sigh and let him in.

“Still haven’t heard from him?” he asks, worried.

“No.” I blow out a breath and get him a beer.

“Thanks. He’ll come around. Surely it can’t be easy for him to stand up to his parents and do whatever it is that he had to do.”

“I know. I’m just wondering why he’s not answering me at all. He’s reading the messages, but he’s not answering.”

“You’re getting as bad as John.” He chuckles.

“Bitch, please, I have reasons to message him and call him. He didn’t.” I frown.

“I know, I’m just teasing you. I’m sure he’s okay, and he’ll come around. He wouldn’t cut all contact with you if we go by what he said in that text he sent you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”