Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(70)

“Remind me never to piss you off. You knocked him right out.” I can’t help but laugh.

“Good, now you’ll know not to mess with me again.” Matt squeezes my thigh.

“Sorry again. I really didn’t mean to hurt you. I really had to be away for a while.”

“Why, though?” By now, he still hasn’t seen my face, and I’m afraid of his reaction once he sees it.

“It’s a long story. Can it wait until we make it home?” I ask him as I stop at a street light.

“Really?” He sighs, losing his patience.

“Alright, you asked for it.” I turn on the overhead light, and he sees the state of my face.

“What the f*ck happened to you?” he shouts, nearly deafening me.

“Robert happened.” I turn the light off and start driving again.

“I’ll wait until we’re home, but you better tell me everything. No more hiding the truth.”

“I promise, I’ll tell you everything. I don’t want to hide anything from you, and I wasn’t. I’ve learned so much these past couple of days. It was a lot to take in.”

“Alright, babe.”

We drive the rest of the way home in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence for once. It gave me the time to collect my thoughts and gather up the courage to tell him everything.

Twenty minutes later, and we’re inside Matt’s house. He’s getting us drinks, and I’m sitting on the couch, my nerves building up.

“Relax. I’m not going to eat you.”

“Shame.” I chuckle nervously and take a sip of the beer.

“We’ll save that for later. So care to tell me what happened to you?” he asks, squeezing my hand. And I tell him everything. About my mom, Robert, what he did, what he was forced to do and why. The fact that he’s gay and repressed it all of his life, why he made me pay for it, and for standing up for myself. What I’ve been doing, and where I’ve been these past two weeks. How memories of Robert beating me when I was younger came back; I don’t hold anything back. I want us to start with a clean slate and be able to be happy together and start fresh.

My tears fall freely. I’m crying for the kid who never stood a chance to be accepted by his family. Who had to be someone else because being himself wasn’t acceptable. I’m crying for the teenager who was beaten because of the way he felt and whom he had feelings for. For what Robert put my siblings through, making them miserable just to cover up what he started by raping my mom.

All the rage and hate I have built up inside of me for the past thirty years is coming out through those tears.





Sometimes it takes you losing something to realize how much good it actually did for you.

That’s what I realized when Nate wasn’t around. Despite the physical attraction and connection, we have something that goes so much deeper. It was crushing me to be away from him. I wish I could have been there for him, to help him through the struggle and heartache he was going through. Finding out so much f*cked up shit in one day can’t be good for anybody.

Nate, my poor Nate. I feel for him.

It’s horrible what he was put through and found out about his family. I can’t believe one person is capable of so much evil toward the people he’s supposed to love, his own children. Why get someone pregnant over and over if you don’t want kids? It makes no sense to me or to Nate.

I wasn’t sure how I would feel when he showed back up in my life. He did leave me when he said he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t talk to me about what happened, and I was mad at him. Turns out, I was madder at myself than at him for what I put the both of us through, and I couldn’t hold it against him. I couldn’t be mad at him. The little will power I have to stay away from Nate quickly vanished when he kissed me and held me. I’m home, and I don’t ever want to leave.

No matter what anyone puts us through, I’ll be there for him, and we’ll stand strong together.

We moved to the bedroom an hour ago. I wanted him to be able to relax and feel comfortable and fall asleep if he wanted to as he was pouring his heart out. I was holding him, trying to comfort him the best I could.

Just being together did him good I think. He was on his own for most of two weeks; it’s bound to have some effect on your emotional state.

To my surprise, as I’m holding Nate, he places his hand on my cock, feeling it, rubbing it and getting it hard through my pants. I’m quite shocked by this sudden change, but I welcome it with open arms. His fingers trail the shape of it through the fabric. I can feel it grow, and the fabric is slowly restricting it.

Returning the favor, I stroke him through his jeans. I undo his belt with my other hand and pull down his pants and boxers in one move.

He captures my lips in a heated kiss as he lowers my jeans and boxers. We don’t lose any time and start stroking each other, skin to skin this time. His warm, rough hands giving just the right amount of friction needed.

Nate gets down to his knees and wraps his warm lips around the tip of my cock, sucking it expertly. I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my lips, nor do I want to. He flicks his tongue over the piercing that goes through the tip of my cock, gently pulling on it with his teeth.

“Fuck.” A low groan comes from deep inside of me as I feel my dick twitch.

His warm lips go all the way down my length. When he reaches the tip, he swirls his tongue around the tip. I stroke his hair and neck. He looks up at me with hunger in his eyes. I place my hands on either side of his head and go deep inside his throat. Not staying down long enough to cause him any discomfort but long enough to make me feel like I’m going to explode every single time. He eats me hungrily as my balls hit his chin with every move. If I don’t put a stop to this, we won’t get to play for long. I’m ready to bust already.