Leo's Chance(13)

He turns to leave, but when he gets to the door, he stops and turns back to me. "I hope you don’t take offense when we call you ‘The Kid.’" He smiles. "I know we joke about it, but in all honesty, you’ve held your own since the day you took over here and we’re all very impressed. I knew your dad for over thirty years and I worked more closely with him than anyone else did. Jake, I know he’d be proud of you, too." He doesn’t give me time to respond but turns and closes the door softly behind him. I sit unmoving for several minutes. Finally, I stand up and gather my paperwork. I catch sight of myself in the mirror on the wall over a credenza. It’s only then that I realize I’m smiling.

**********

Later that evening, I stand under the stream of hot water, letting the steam from the shower relax my tired muscles. I stopped at the gym after work and worked out until my body was spent and my restless mind was finally quieted, at least temporarily.

As the water rains down over my tired body, my mind goes to Evie and I wonder what she’s doing tonight. I wish I had the right to know. I wish I had the right to call her up and tell her I want her with me tonight. I lean one hand on the tile in front of me as my other hand goes to my head, rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. Then I brace both hands on the wall and stand with my head directly under the spray, fantasizing about what it would be like for Evie to show up at my door… to kiss her hello and lead her to my bed. I feel my groin throb. My hand travels downward and I grip myself. I’m suddenly painfully hard and I hold back a groan as I stroke myself slowly. Pleasure, intense and hot, shoots through my body. I picture myself stripping Evie’s clothes off, one piece at a time and drinking in every inch of her perfect little body. I wonder what she looks like naked, what color her nipples are, what they’d taste like. Sweet, I’m sure. As sweet as her mouth was when I kissed her on our roof all those years ago. I used to think about her naked constantly when I was a teenager, but I haven’t allowed myself to since. It was too painful because I knew I’d never have her. But now… the mere possibility has the blood raging through my veins.

I pretend the water running down my back is Evie’s hands soothing me, caressing me. I pretend that my own hand is hers, reaching around me from behind to stroke me, up and down, her little hand speeding up as the water splashes over both of us. I groan aloud. Her breasts are pressed up against my back, her body slick with the water raining down on both of us. She rubs them against me, moaning at the friction as they pebble against my skin. The sound of the running water mixes with our combined moans. "Fuck, baby that feels so good."

She slides around me and goes down on her knees, taking me in her hot little mouth. I watch her as she moves her head, sucking and licking, the water lubricating my cock so that she slides up and down effortlessly. "Oh baby, f*ck, don’t stop," I grit out. She moans her agreement, speeding up as I run my hands over her wet hair. Fuck, it feels so amazing. I feel my balls pull up tightly, my orgasm swirling through my belly. "I’m gonna come, baby," I choke out. She pulls back, fisting me now as I come harder than I’ve ever come in my life. Her hand continues to milk me slowly as I come down. Holy f*ck.

I wipe the semen off the wall in front of me with my hand and I soap myself up one more time before standing under the spray for a few more minutes. I laugh quietly. Holy shit, if I come that hard just from the fantasy of her, what’s going to happen to me if I ever really have her?

I towel off and collapse on my bed. I marvel at what just happened. Sex, even by myself, has never been more than a release for me. I can’t honestly say I ever enjoyed it thoroughly because the emotions surrounding it have always been so negative for me. I’ve never allowed myself to fully enjoy it. It was always a means to an end for me – whether that end was for numbing purposes, to prove to Lauren that she didn’t own me, or for a physical release, it was never, ever a fulfilling experience. I don’t even know that I recognized that until this very moment. For the first time since I moved to San Diego, I had a good sexual experience and it was jacking off in my f*cking shower to a fantasy of Evie. Holy shit.





CHAPTER 9


I flip blankly through the channels on the television mounted on the wall in front of me, finding nothing of interest. I turn it off and set the remote on the table next to me, as my room door swings open. I turn my head, my brows snapping down immediately. It’s f*cking Lauren. What the hell? The nurses know that she’s on a "do not allow" visitors list. She must have sneaked past them somehow. I grab for the call button but Lauren swoops over and places it just out of my reach. She sits down, grabbing my hands and saying, "Jake, stop. I just want a minute. Please. Do you know what I’ve been going through, not being able to see you? Not being able to comfort you? I love you, honey."

"You don’t love me," I spit out. "What you feel for me is not love. It never was. It was sex. Sex that was wrong and dirty and manipulative and ruined my f*cking life. And then ended Phil’s life, too. Remember him, Lauren? Your HUSBAND? You need to get out of here."

She pauses, then leans over and tries to move a piece of hair off my forehead, I draw back from her hand. "No."

"Oh, Jake, of course I think of Phil. But that wasn’t our fault. He never took very good care of himself… always working." She pauses, studying her fingernails. "It was going to be for the best that he found out about us. We should have told him years ago… What we HAVE, what we’ve always had, is not wrong or dirty. You just need to get over your guilt and you’ll realize that. You don’t have anything to feel guilty for. We fell in love. There’s nothing to be ashamed of there."