Leo (A Sign of Love Novel)(53)

As much as Mike and Nicole have been successful in distracting me, I know I'm going to have to face reality in the morning, so I borrow a pair of Nicole's p.j.'s and turn in.

I climb into bed and turn on my phone. There are 14 new calls from Jake/Leo. There are four text messages basically begging me to call him, and one voicemail. With shaking fingers, I listen to it.

"Evie, God, I… please call me. I'm going crazy here. You ran and I don't even know if you're okay. Baby, please just let me know you're okay. At least that. Even if you don't want to talk to me… or, even if you don't want anything to do with me <pause and then shaky breath> please just let me know you're safe. I went by your apartment and you weren't there and it's late and I… please be okay." <pause and then click>

A tear rolls down my cheek. What am I going to do? I type in a quick text message to Jake/Leo, 2 words. I'm safe.

I wait for a couple minutes but there's no response. I turn off my phone again and fall into a fitful sleep.

**********

The next morning I wake early and Nicole and Mike's house is quiet. Not wanting to wake them, I write a quick note and sneak out the front door quietly. I catch the bus to my apartment and let myself in. I linger under the hot water, shave everywhere and when I emerge, I feel refreshed and ready to face the day, whatever it may bring. I dress in a pair of favorite jeans and a demi sleeved, cowl necked green sweater that is fitted around the hips and is belted at the waist. I pull on my short brown boots and pull my hair back into a messy bun after I've partially dried it. I put on mascara, a little blusher and some lip gloss.

It's been weeks since I've done a proper shopping trip and so I leave my apartment in search of coffee. I walk to a Starbucks about 20 minutes away and 45 min. later I am caffeinated and have even eaten a half blueberry muffin and feel semi-human.

I turn the corner to my apartment and immediately, I spy Jake's dark silver BMW parked out front. I walk slowly down the block and he's in front of me before I even make it halfway there.

He looks like hell, like he hasn't slept a wink and I can't help it, I want to soothe him. He has his hands in his jeans pockets and he is looking at me, a look of longing and uncertainty, his gorgeous face a mix of insecurity that hits me right in the gut. That look, I realize, the one that made my heart beat faster in my chest right from the beginning, it's all Leo, my uncertain boy.

I know he has lied to me, and I know that I should distrust him right now but I can't help it, my heart is screaming at me, your Leo is back! He's right in front of you! Go to him! Your beautiful boy is here. HERE!

And the love that engulfs my heart is so overwhelming that I almost fall to my knees right then and there.

This is not good.

I want to be standoffish. I want to play cool, calm and collected. I want to remain detached until he explains something to me that will melt my heart. I want there to be nothing he can say that will melt my heart. I am pleading for him to say something that will melt my heart. I am a mess.

And so I run. Again. I try to dash around him, I try to run fast and hard to the safety of my apartment. I try to escape my confusion and my fear, and yes, the love, but Jake steps to the side easily and scoops me up from behind and I fight him, but he's too strong and he carries me to the door of my building and he growls in my ear, "Give me your key, Evie," and like an obedient child, I take the key out of my purse and I hand it to him.

Where is Maurice when I'm actually being manhandled?

He opens my front door and then he carts me inside like I weigh no more than a sack of rice. He uses the same keyring to open my inner apartment door and then he sets me down inside, closing it behind him.

We stare at each other, him breathing harshly and me glaring, for several seconds.

Finally, he drops his head and runs his fingers through his hair. Oh, God don't do that! "Evie, we need to talk and we need to talk now."

"Why do you get to decide when we need to talk? Isn't it my call, Jake? Or should I call you Leo? Do you go by both? Please, clue me in here."

He closes his eyes for a minute like he's really just too tired to deal with my shit. And isn't that priceless! "Evie. Please. Can we talk? Will you listen to me? This has been hell on me. Please. I just want you to tell me you'll listen to me - really listen to me."

"Hell on you? Oh, please, Jake. I don't want to make things harder on you. Please, sit down. Can I get you a beverage? A foot rub?" I glare at him.

He sighs as if he is barely tolerating me. "Sit down, Evie. Now."

I want to rail at him. I want to tell him to suck it. But, instead, I do as he says, sinking down on my couch while he continues to stand above me.

Finally, he exhales and runs his hand through his hair. Again! how many is that now?He's trying to kill me. He drops down on the couch with me, but at the other side.

"If you need something, go get it now. We're going to talk and this could take a while. Get what you need to make yourself comfortable and then plant yourself on the couch."

I stare at him for a several seconds and then exhale as well. "I'm fine, Jake… Leo. Please, let's get this over with." I pinch my nose, massaging away a headache that hasn't even started yet.

He moves closer to me now and suddenly it is all just too much for me. The smell of him, the look on his face, my emotions, and I bring my hands to my face and I sob. Jake/Leo doesn't say a word but I hear him moving closer and suddenly I am on his lap, being cradled in his arms and his face is buried in my hair.