Left Drowning(28)

“Precisely.”

He stands up. “Salt?”

I nod and lick the top of my hand between my thumb and forefinger, and Chris sprinkles salt for me. I do the salt/tequila/bite-the-lime routine. I suck on the lime for a second and then say, “It fits perfectly. All that planning was worth it.”

“I have an eye for these things.” He winks just before he licks and salts his own hand.

It’s a good thing that he can’t read my thoughts, because watching his tongue sweep over his own hand nearly makes my knees buckle. Apparently, I have forgiven his disappearing act over the past few weeks. When we are together, that’s easy.

He downs a decent gulp, coughing as soon as he swallows. “God, Sabin drinks some cheap crap.” He sucks his lime wedge nearly dry.

“You’re not kidding. This stuff is pretty bad.” I pause. “Wanna do another one?”

“Totally.”

So we do.

After we’ve both coughed our way through another round of too-big shots, we stand side by side and watch the crowd below us that is progressively getting louder. A group of girls by the front of the stage begins hooting and chanting as someone comes onstage. I squint. “Hey, is that… .”

Chris follows my gaze. “Oh my God, yes. That’s Sabin. He and Estelle must’ve gone down the back ladder. I didn’t even notice.”

We watch as Sabin struts across the stage and waves to the crowd gone wild. “This one’s for the newest member of the clan. I love you already, B.!” he yells into the microphone.

“Oh my f*cking God.” I close my eyes. “What is he doing? He sings?”

“He can do anything.”

“I know you’re up there, sweet girl.” Sabin looks in the direction of the rooftop as he swings a strap over his shoulder and begins to run his fingers over the strings of an acoustic guitar. “No more worrying, okay?”

When he sings, there is a beautiful, deep rasp in his voice, and I am nearly gutted by what he is singing to me. I don’t know what this song was originally intended to be about exactly, but I know what Sabin is telling me. He is telling me to protect my heart. He is telling me about timing, and dreaming, and surviving. And mostly, he is telling me to abandon my worry. To find joy and to live again.

The tears that fill my eyes are, for the first time, happy ones. I blink them away. Sabin shields his eyes from the lights and peers up to the rooftop. He waves and then does a ridiculous champion-boxer move where he punches the air and then throws both hands up in the air while he takes a victory lap around the stage. He is too much in all sorts of wonderful ways.

“Sabin’s a good guy, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” Chris agrees. “He is. He’s incredible.”

I keep my eyes on the stage. “You are, too.” Tequila is making me brazen with the truth.

Before I have a chance to regret my words, Estelle rescues me. “That’s your brother, not mine! And, hey, where’s my lime?”

Chris cuts another wedge, this time using the wall instead of going down on bended knee. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” he says affectionately.

Estelle takes the bottle with one hand and smoothes down her still-perfect hair while she catches her breath from her rushed climb back up the ladder. “Too much to list. But look at him. He’s awesome.” The shot of tequila makes her wince as much as it did Chris and me. “Jesus, this is bad booze. No lime could save us.” She takes a spot next to us, and we stand silently watching as Sabin continues his onstage reign. She rubs the cross that hangs around her neck. “I wish Eric had stayed.”

“Me, too.” Chris rubs her back briefly. “He’s with Zach. He’s fine.”

“I know. I just wish he’d hang with us more. Anyway, Blythe, I’m glad you came out. Drink what you want, guys, and then let’s go down. Sabin has a spot for us by the stage. I think we’re in for a long night.”





CHAPTER TEN


The Course of An Eternity


Chris holds open the door to our dorm. “After you, ma’am.”

“Thank you.” I walk by him into the dimly lit entryway. As much fun as I’ve had tonight, I’m glad to be back here. The crowd, the music, the noise, the social interaction… . It has all been a lot for me, and I’m ready to decompress. The noise from the speakers by the stage has left a good ringing in my ears, and my voice is raw from having to yell over the music. I feel grateful, though, that Sabin was my home base tonight. He let me come back to him as often as I needed to ground myself. When the noise was too much or the social interaction felt overwhelming, he remained my rock. Chris? Chris was more of my risk. Gravitating to him took more bravery because he could see that the evening was more than I could handle. He must have asked me fifty times if I was all right and if I was having fun. He seems to know me—and knows what to worry about—more than he should. Maybe that was why he’d offered to walk me back after Sabin ran into Chrystle, and Estelle took off with her giant purse after getting a text.

Chris and I pause after stepping into the dorm, knowing it’s time to part ways. I’m tired, but I’m not ready to leave him. At least I am clearheaded since we abandoned that vile tequila on the top of the architecture building hours before. I know that I won’t do anything horrifying like throw myself at him. Despite the massive appeal that holds right now.