Lead (Stage Dive, #3)(90)

He tensed. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” I smiled. “You want my glasses on or off for this?”

“On,” he answered instantly.

“Okay, but no cum on the lenses, that’s not cool. Understood?”

A muscle jumped in his jaw.

“All right, then.”

I dragged the flat of my tongue across the head of his cock, collecting a bead of salty cum for my trouble. Yummy. Give me more. Normally, sperm didn’t set my world on fire, but anything this man’s body made for me was to be savored.

Such was the absolute lunacy of my love for him.

I wanted to make him feel as adored and wanted as he did me. To chase the doubt from his eyes and give him nothing but pleasure.

I took him into my mouth, sucking before laving the underside with my tongue. All due care was given to the sweet spot. I massaged it with the tip of my tongue until he swore quite profusely, his hips kicking forward. My spare hand cupped his balls, rolling them gently, the skin so soft and delicate. His hard flesh stretched my jaw, filled my mouth, and the musky scent of him was all I could smell. I took him in as deep as I could, working him with tongue, teeth, and lips. My hand stroked the rest of him, keeping all of him occupied. Careful of my teeth, I drew back, then forged forward again.

“Fuck, Lena.” His heavy balls drew up closer to his body. “Feels so f*cking nice.”

And he’d used a word I just had to question. His dick came free of mouth with a faint popping sound.

“Nice?” I asked, curling my swollen lips into a smile.

He watched me through hooded lids. “Very nice.”

I fit my lips around the head once more, sucking hard. His hips bucked in response. It was time to finish him off. The muscles in his stomach tensed, his legs went rigid. I sucked with all my might, hollowing my cheeks and taking him deep.

“God damn it, Lena.” Various growling and snarling noises came above me. He was such an animal.

Hot bitter salty cum filled my mouth and throat. I swallowed fast, taking it all. It never even crossed my mind to spit … this was Jimmy. He came and he came as I worked him down gently, stroking his cock and rubbing his balls, cherishing him. His whole body slumped and he panted for air. My work here was done. The man was decimated.

“Help me up,” I said, tugging on his jeans. His eyes slowly blinked open and he held out a hand to me. I took it, letting him doing the heaving lifting involved in pulling me back up onto my feet. “Thanks.”

An arm shot out, wrapping around my neck, pulling me in against him. His whole body trembled.

“You okay?” I asked.

A nod.

“Feeling a little emotional, huh?” I petted his hair. “That’s okay. It was an emotional blow job.”

He snorted.

I gave him a squeeze. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I’m clean, Lena,” he said, face pressed into my neck. “Got tested, everything came up negative, okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I swallowed. Didn’t even think about that.”

The arms of steel around me didn’t falter. “I liked that you swallowed.”

Warm damp lips rubbed against my neck. Such affection from him, I’d never known the likes of it. My head swam with joy and the most disturbing words rose up and up inside of me until they stuck in my throat. And still they pushed and shoved their way out of me with such thoughtless dumb-ass intent. I tried to stop them because I knew better, I really did. But they spewed forth from my tortured lovelorn soul while my brain watched on in complete and utter horror.

“I love you, Jimmy.”

Silence.

Absolute, dead silence.

The man in my arms snap froze, even his breathing faltered.

“I mean, not that it’s a big deal or anything.” My mouth, I wanted to kill it slowly and painfully in many and varied ways. We’d been in a good place, in the moment, and I had to go and wreck it, pressing for more. “You don’t have to say anything. In fact you shouldn’t, it would be better if you didn’t, and we’ll just carry on exactly as we were and pretend this never even happened, okay? Because we’re doing great, just fine, and I really don’t want anything to change.”

Hands gripped my arms and forcibly removed me from him. Every instinct in me said duck and cover, run. Whatever happens, I should not look at his face. Because it was pale and drawn, and his eyes were vaguely terrified. “You love me?”

“Jimmy …”

He looked at me like I was foreign to him, unknown and unwanted in every way that mattered.

“Lena, I can’t … I don’t …”

“No, I know.” Right then, I was dead in all the ways that mattered. My lungs just hadn’t figured it out yet.

From down below came yipping and barking. Little nails scrabbled at my black stockings, shredding them beyond repair. He must have been snoozing under the counter and gotten woken up with Jimmy’s yelling.

“Hey, Killer.” I picked up the small bundle of black-and-white terror. He was the perfect distraction to my strung-out heart. “I didn’t see you in here. Where were you hiding?"

“We better go back out.” Jimmy studied the far wall with great ardor. I guess anything was better than looking at me and my messy, out-there emotions. Such an embarrassment.