Lead (Stage Dive, #3)(47)
“You’re hung up on Anne.”
“Yeah.” His hands tightened around the bucket of popcorn. “How about you and Jimmy?”
“Ha. Yes. My affections are likewise unwanted and unreturned. Aren’t we a pair?” I stared unseeing at the hustle and bustle of the people flocking through the theater doors. So many people just going about their lives, experiencing similar heartache and despair. We weren’t unique in the least and yet the pain, it felt so damn big, like it consumed me. How perverse that it should be such a common, everyday occurrence.
Good god, love sucked.
“Why don’t we just be friends?” I suggested.
Reece sighed, shuffled his feet. “Friends … yeah. Still feel like going into see a movie with me?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“The violent one?”
I managed a smile. “Sold.”
# # #
Curtains swayed in the front window. Someone was snooping. For a man of reasonable intelligence, Jimmy Ferris hadn’t been acting particularly rational of late. Of course, my own actions where he was concerned were nothing to boast about.
Reece waited until I’d opened the front door to drive away and I stood in the cold, watching until his taillights disappeared from view. Date two over and done. Go team Lena. We’d had a nice enough night, but we wouldn’t be doing it again. Funnily enough, sharing tales of unrequited love and rebuffed offerings of one’s heart did not lift the spirits. Ignoring such things worked better, I think. If ever I’d been tempted to throw my no-alcohol rule to the wind, tonight was the night. But I hadn’t. I don’t know, it sort of seemed as if I was on this journey with Jimmy and neither of us could afford to fail. Silly but true. Alcoholism was not my burden to bear, and symbolically, I couldn’t lighten his load, I couldn’t do shit..
“You can come out.” I shut the door, put my coat and purse on the side-table. “I know you’re there … lurking.”
“It’s my house. I can lurk where I want.” He appeared out of the darkness that was the living room, black clothes blending into the shadows. “And don’t just dump your stuff there, take it up to your room.”
“Yes, sir.”
“How was your night?”
I smothered a yawn. “Okay. Yours?”
One shoulder rose and fell. “Watched some TV.”
“Mm.” I picked my belongings back up again. So ridiculous, only Jimmy would have furniture and not let people use it. Like a perfect appearance made more sense than actually utilizing something as per its designed purpose. The man was plain ludicrous. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“That’s it?”
With one foot on the step, I paused. “I arrived home in one piece thereby disproving the axe murderer theory and removing the need for you to replace me just yet. What else do you need from me?”
“Did you not have an okay time?”
“The movie was fun. Lots of explosions.”
“Get along with him all right?”
“Sure, he’s a nice guy. He’s in love with Anne though so not prime dating material.”
“Oh.” Face contemplative, he came up beside me, leaning on the railing. He hadn’t shaved today and the urge to run my fingers over the prickle of his stubble seemed insurmountable. My fingers dug deep into the leather of my purse, fighting for control. Everything about him called to me, the guarded but curious look in his eyes, his rarely seen softer side.
Maybe if his mom hadn’t messed him up when he was a kid he’d have been different, less world weary and damaged, more open. Or maybe if I was more super-model, less cute and cuddly. What would it take, how many changes would have to be made for him to see me differently? Because he stood less than two feet away from me but it felt like forever. My heart broke ever so slowly and I felt every piece of it shatter and fall.
Nothing I could do about it, not a single damn thing.
I fixed a tired smile to my face. “It was still an okay night.”
“Does Anne know?” he asked.
“I doubt it or she wouldn’t have suggested I go out with him.”
“True.”
“I don’t really think we should say anything either.”
His brows rose. “Why not? Wouldn’t she want some warning?”
“He’s harboring feelings for her, Jimmy, not planning a surprise attack. It’s not our secret to share and it’s not like it’s going to change anything.” I hugged my coat and bag to my chest. “Reece doesn’t stand a chance. She’s just not interested in him that way. He’s been friend zoned and he knows it.”
The poor schmuck.
“I don’t know if I’d feel right not telling Mal,” he said.
“I think it would only cause trouble. Though honestly Mal probably already knows. It’s not like Reece is particularly effective at hiding it.”
He stared over my shoulder at the wall. “Stupid of him, hanging onto a thing for Anne when he hasn’t got a chance.”
“Who ever said the heart was smart or that it followed directions?”
Jimmy just shook his head. “That’s f*cking dumb. He needs to wise up and get over it. It’s pathetic, no wonder Anne doesn’t want him.”