Jesus Freaks: Sins of the Father(82)

“I’m sorry.” Eden wipes her nose on her sleeve as she pulls away. “I should have known…”

“How?” I exclaim through ragged breath.

She shrugs, and Bridgette speaks up. “I was so worried about getting you saved that it didn’t occur to me you might have bigger things you were wrestling with.”

Bigger than my salvation? Is that a little bit of human peeking through Bridgette?

“Did you guys know what Joy was planning?” I ask both of them. The question seeped into a dream at some point last night, and I’ve been wrestling with it ever since.

“No!” Eden gasps, eyes wide. “Are you kidding? She doesn’t talk to us except during Bible study.”

“Really?” I’m surprised. “I thought she was all in your clique or whatever.”

Bridget shakes her head. “No. She’s been kind of a loner, or hanging around a few older kids. She spends a lot of time in her room reading, her roommate says.”

“We’d have never let her hand out those flyers, Kennedy.” Eden’s chin quivers and she looks down.

“I know,” I whisper, touching her shoulder. “I mean…I think I know. I guess everything I think and know are up in the air right now, Eden. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you.”

“Anyway,” I start after a huge breath, “what happened after I left the dining hall?”

A lot, judging by the looks on their faces. Bridgette and Eden look at each other as if to decide who should go first.

“It was kind of a mob scene,” Eden begins. “We followed you out for a few steps, but Matt told us all to stay away. When we turned back to the cafeteria, Joy had disappeared. She’s basically been in her room since. Her roommate has been staying in another room, too.”

“Really? That seems awfully…I don’t know…cowardly of someone who was so bold about the affair.”

“Well,” Bridgette enters, “she did have a few choice Facebook posts trying to justify her actions. Saying that you can only take people at face value, and she had no reason to believe you were the daughter of Roland, but every reason to believe you were on shaky moral ground.”

It stings. It’s completely valid, given all of her presuppositions coming in, but it still stings. The only thing I’ve done to her is stop her from condemning a coffee-goer to hell. And that was just once. Certainly nothing worthy of what she dished out to me in front of the entire university.

“She lost her shit,” Eden says dryly, causing me to gasp.

“Eden!” I cover my mouth.

“What?” Eden shrugs. “She did. She, like, needs meds or something.”

“Eden…” Bridgette says cautiously.

Eden turns to Bridgette. “Come on, Bridge. We’ve seen this stuff at camps hundreds of times over the years. Who is indecent with whom? Who pretends to pray but doesn’t, who has porn tucked in their Bible? Sometimes people need help, for whatever reason. I think she’s one of those people.”

“Porn in their Bible?” My eyes widen.

They nod at the apparent ugly counterculture of Christian teens.

“But…” Eden claps her hands in an apparent attempt to refocus the conversation, “Roland—”

I put my hand up. “What I said was true. He and my mom dated in college, and…well…the rest is kind of an eighteen-year old story. Ending right here.”

Bridgette puts a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe starting right here,” she whispers.

“I need your help, guys,” I admit. “With…everything.”

I tell them about The Today Show plans and the blogs Matt showed me last night. We talk about the ones that mentioned me, and even the ones that didn’t.

“I had no idea being a PK was such a…hot button issue,” I admit. “Do the parents know about these blogs?” I think about the possibility of Matt’s dad stumbling across the writings of Matt’s fellows, condemning the life his dad had chosen for his family. Then I wonder if Matt has his own blog.

Eden shakes her head. “Probably not. A lot of them don’t use their real names or identifying church information. They’re angry, and a lot of other things, but they don’t want it taken out on the rest of their family. Or the congregation.”

“So you, like, know about these?” I ask.

Bridgette nods. “And I know lots of PKs. Sometimes it’s peachy, a wholesome life filled with prayer and all that. But most of the time…” she trails off and Eden picks up.

“Most of the time it can be a nightmare. Especially for a teenage PK. They’re like, not allowed to question things, even though that’s what we’re supposed to do as teenagers, right?”

I nod. “Why do you want to marry a pastor then, Eden? Why do you want to risk all of that?”

A sad smile crosses her face. “Because it doesn’t always have to be like that. Sometimes it can be good.”

It seems like Eden is interested in rewriting someone’s history. Then my mind flashes to Jonah and his obviously strained relationship with his dad. Is she trying to save him from his childhood by recreating a “good” pastor’s family?

I keep all of those thoughts to myself, but take some time to share my story. My true story. I spend most of the time telling them about my time on campus this semester, and everything that’s gone on with Roland, including storming out of his house during our first attempted lunch of the school year. I end with waking up this morning to him and my mom in the same house.