It's All Relative(100)

As he massaged her palm, he whispered into her hair, “I missed you, Jessie.”

Jessie’s heart started racing. She pulled away from his shoulder, and he lifted his head so she could move hers. They stared at each other, their bodies flush together, their faces inches apart. Kai’s tropical eyes searched hers. “I missed you…so much.”

Jessie swallowed; her throat was suddenly dry. She clenched his fingers with her hand, stopping the massage. Holding him tight, she whispered, “I missed you too, Kai. Every day.”

Exhaling, his forehead came down to lightly rest against hers. Shaking his head, he whispered, “It was so hard to be apart from you. Harder than I ever imagined it would be. I wanted to call you all the time. I wanted to see you all the time. It felt like nothing was really happening in my life, since I couldn’t share it with you.”

Jessie’s free hand came up to cup his cheek. “I felt the same way. I hated hearing about you through other people.” He pulled back to look at her; his eyes were sorrowful. “I wanted to hear your voice,” she whispered. “I wanted to see your face.”

Letting go of her hand, he reached up to touch her hair. As he watched the dark curls twisting around his fingers, Jessie dropped her hand from his cheek and ran it down his back. Pinching the end of a lock between his thumb and forefinger, he murmured, “I think about you. About…being with you.” His voice was low and husky, deep with desire.

Jessie’s breath hitched. She knew exactly what he was referring to. They shouldn’t talk about that, not here, not completely alone with very little chance of anyone interrupting them. That conversation would open too many doors that shouldn’t ever be opened. Kai peeked up at her face when she didn’t respond.

“I think about that night…that night we first met.” His eyes drifted over her features as his hand released her hair and touched her face. He ran a finger along her jaw line, then across her lips. “God, I think about it all the time. I can’t stop…”

Dropping his hand, he let his voice trail off. His eyes were sad and wistful as he returned his gaze to the fire. Jessie could see the struggle within him, his painful battle of wanting her and not wanting her. It was a war she was all too familiar with. He suddenly looked so lonely, staring into the flames with moist eyes. Jessie ached for him and with him, and she desperately wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone; she was just as deep in this turmoil as he was.

Tentatively, her fingers came up to his cheek. She gently turned his head, making him look her in the eye. “I think about it too. All the time,” she whispered.

Kai’s soft smile slowly became a frown. “I wish there was a way to go back.” He sighed and shook his head. “To go back to that night, when being with you felt…”

He looked down and Jessie smiled sadly. “When all it felt…was right?”

Returning his eyes to hers, he nodded. “Yeah.” There was so much painful honesty in his expression that Jessie almost couldn’t stand it. She wished they could go back too…but life didn’t work that way. You couldn’t un-know things that monumental.

Jessie ran her fingers through his hair, now dry after their romantic walk through the snow. Pulling him down, she rested their heads together again. “We can’t go back, Kai. We know now.”

He slowly shook his head against hers. “What if we just…forgot?” He whispered that so faintly, Jessie barely heard him. Her heart was hammering so hard she almost couldn’t hear her own thoughts. Did he mean what she thought he meant? Jessie pulled back to look at him; his eyes were downcast, he wouldn’t meet her gaze. To Jessie, that meant yes, he’d meant exactly what she thought he meant.

She cupped his cheek and forced his head up, making him look at her again; the move also brought their mouths closer together. “We can’t, Kai.”

Even though she was saying they couldn’t, with the heat of his breath on her lips, his body tantalizingly close to hers, and no one around to interrupt them, they could. They’d hate themselves afterwards, but with how much feeling was building between them…they definitely could.

Leaning into her, closing nearly every space between them as he rested his cheek against hers, he muttered, “I know.” His hand lifted to her shoulder, and began rubbing a circle into the worn fabric. “I just can’t stop…remembering.” With a sigh, his fingers left her shoulder and slowly started trailing down her chest. Jessie was sure her heart was going to explode it was pounding so hard, and her breath was already heavy with anticipation. She wanted him to touch her again, and she knew how horrible that desire was.

His breath was stuttered, like he was having trouble keeping it even. “I remember the sounds you made.” He whispered it, like he didn’t want to say it, but couldn’t stop himself. His breath brushing over her cheek, tickled her ear, and desire zipped up Jessie’s spine.

She sucked in a quick breath at his words, holding back the erotic groan she dared not make. As she closed her eyes, her fingers returned to his hair. Threading them through the soft strands, she grabbed a handful and tightened. Kai hissed in a breath, then spoke again, a little louder. “I remember your body…on top of mine.”

Jessie dropped her mouth open; just his words were making her weak. Pulling him closer, she buried her face in his shoulder. His wandering fingers finally came to rest over her nipple, his thumb gently swept across the peak, causing waves of pleasure to ripple through her. When he spoke again, his voice came out broken, choked with passion and confusion. “I remember your face when you came.”