In the Stillness(53)

Chapter 26





The sound of a four-hundred dollar phone hitting the floor is the only thing that pries Eric away from the mouth of the woman sitting on his desk . . . with her legs around him. I’m temporarily satisfied by the look of sheer horror that plasters itself on both of their faces as it registers they’ve been caught. By the last person either of them should want to be caught by. Eric’s wife. The fact that I don’t want to be his wife has little bearing on the technicality that I still am, and he was holding her neck as he kissed her with what looked like more passion than he’s ever given me.

I don’t look at the woman. She doesn’t matter. Eric wishes I would look at her, I know he does. That way he’d get a break from the look I’m giving him.

I speak first. “You left your phone at home.”

I slide his destroyed phone toward him with my foot. When it hits his, I turn on my heels and walk carefully down the hallway as my heart pounds through my ears and bile swirls in my stomach.

“Natalie, wait!” Eric’s steps are uneven as he chases after me.

Um. No.

I don’t turn around. “Stay the f*ck away from me, Eric,” I pull a calm voice from the recesses of betrayal.

He has the audacity to grab my upper arm as I open the door to head down the stairs.

“Please, Natalie . . .”

I stop and study the bastard fingers pressing into my skin before slowly meeting his gaze. The rage boiling inside me is frightening.

“What are you going to tell me? What could you possibly have to say? That this was the first time? That I just happened to walk in the first time you ever kissed her? That looked a little cozy for a first kiss. Though, I can’t remember that far back since my last first kiss was with you.”

He opens his mouth, but I put up my hand.

“How long has this been going on?”

In exasperation, he runs his hands through his hair and opens and closes his mouth a few times to try to say something. It doesn’t work.

“That long, huh? Let me ask you this,” I finally let the door to the stairwell close as I cross my arms in front of me, “why? Why would you string me along—string our family along—while you were off f*cking someone else—”

Eric cuts me off. “We didn’t have sex, Natalie.”

“Ha!” I can’t control the clinically hysterical laughter. “You expect me to start taking you at your word? At least tell me you used protecti—you know what? It doesn’t matter, I’ll still have to get tested.” I tilt my chin in the direction of his office before giving him a disgusted once-over. “I hope she was worth it.” I push the door open and race down the stairs.

I’m briefly concerned that he’ll chase me, but let’s be honest, he wouldn’t dare. I’m three nanoseconds away from causing a huge scene and he must sense it. He wisely stays secured on the other side of the fire door.

Driving with student-driver cautiousness, I navigate myself off of campus and take a left to head up Amity Street. Divine intervention has opened a parking spot directly in front of Judie’s, so I slide into it and turn off the car before crumbling into a sobbing mess. No matter how I’ve felt about Eric over the last several months, I never dreamt of having an affair. I would never do that to him. To us. To our family. I should be thrilled that his actions give me a glaring pass to leave without guilt, instead I just feel dirty. Used. Rejected.

Pounding on my passenger-side window pulls me away from the steering wheel. Tosha’s knocking like a crazy person. I unlock the door and she climbs in.

“Natalie, what the f*ck? What’s going on? Eric’s called me like fifty times in the last five minutes. He asked me if I’d seen you. What the hell?”

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I lean over the center console and lay my head on her lap, still unable to form words.

“Are the boys okay?” she asks as she runs her hands over my head.

I nod. After a few minutes I sit up, take a deep breath, and tell her what I saw. Her eyes try to stay in their proper places as she lights a cigarette.

“What a f*cking prick.” She exhales and hands me the cigarette. “Do you know how long it’s been going on?”

I shake my head. “Doesn’t really matter, though, does it?”

She shakes hers. “Nope. So, I trust you’ll be staying at my place tonight?”

“Yeah. I’ve gotta go home and get my stuff. Like, all of it. I’ll pack a bag and toss the rest in my storage unit.”

She gets a small grin. “You still have that thing?”

“Of course I do.”

When Eric and I decided to move into his apartment, I took most of my furniture and a lot of my boxes of undergrad memories and put them in a storage unit to save for when we moved into a bigger place. A house. With our family. I’ve avoided sifting through boxes of the person I used to be, so I haven’t been there in a couple years. I just pay the bill every month and keep myself locked behind a garage door.

“Do you want me to come with you in case he’s there?”

“Sure.”

“Are you going to call your parents?”

Christ.

“Not yet,” I sigh, “the boys will be there for an entire week. I’m sure he’s smart enough not to call them, so I need to have a few days to sort some shit out. Let’s go.”