Hush (Black Lotus #3)(77)

Annoyance paints her eyes. “Yes, Declan. I know. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want you taking care of yourself.”

“I am.”

“Then tell me why your pill is in the bottom of the toilet.”

Her eyes tick, widening for a fleeting second, but I catch it.

“Do you want to explain to me why?”

Her throat constricts when she takes a hard swallow, and she shakes her head slowly. She’s scared.

“How long have you been doing this?”

“I can take care of myself. I don’t need you parenting me,” she snaps.

I harden my voice, demanding, “How long?”

“I’m fine. I don’t need them.”

“How long, Elizabeth?”

She takes a deep breath, steadying herself to take me on when she admits, “Since I got them.”

My teeth grit in an attempt to temper my anger, and when she notices my mood shift, she tries coaxing me. “Declan, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

“I am.”

“I heard you talking to someone the other night, but nobody was here,” I say, calling her out.

“What are you talking about?”

I stand and pace back a few steps as my irritation grows. “You were in this room with the door closed. You were talking to someone. Who was it? And don’t you dare feed me a lie.”

Her eyes dart to the corner of the room, and when I look over to the window where she’s focusing, the truth hits me.

Pike.

I turn back and take a few steps towards her. “What are you looking at?”

Her eyes, now rimming with tears, shift back to me.

“I need you to talk to me,” I plead as I sit back down on the bed next to her. “Is it your brother? Are you seeing him again?”





“Don’t lie to him.”

I’m completely caught. He’s going to run now that he knows I’m crazy and that I’ve been lying to him. Panic pangs through my body as Declan stares at me.

“Trust me, Elizabeth. Trust me enough to tell me.”

He scoops my hands into his, and I can see the worry pouring out of him.

“Is that who you’re looking at? Is he here?”

I close my eyes, scared of what his reaction will be, but I can’t hide from the truth he now knows. My hands tremble in his when I finally nod my head yes.

“He’s here?”

I nod again, and when I get the courage to open my eyes, I confess, “I need him.”

“Baby,” he breathes, cupping my cheek with his one hand. “You can’t do this to yourself. It’s not healthy, and I need you healthy.”

“But . . . he’s my brother.”

“He’s dead.”

I blink and the tears fall. “I know that. But I still need him.”

“Need me more.”

His words expose an insecurity I wasn’t aware of. I look into his eyes—really look—and I see what I’ve never seen before—self-doubt. The green in his eyes brightens in vibrancy, the effect of unshed tears that threaten to fall.

“I do need you,” I tell him.

“It’s not enough.”

“Don’t you dare choose me over him.”

I turn back to Pike as Declan keeps his eyes on me.

“This has to end, Elizabeth. You have to start taking your pills. I need you well.”

I don’t look at him when he says this, instead I stay focused on Pike as my tears fall.

“He’s right.”

“No.”

Pike walks over to me and crawls onto the bed, sitting on the other side of me, across from Declan.

“No!” I repeat fervently as I feel the fibers of my soul shredding apart.

“You can’t keep hanging on to me like this.”

“But I need you.”

“I can’t let you do this to yourself anymore,” Declan says, and when I look back to him, I cry, “But I need him.”

“And I need you. You have to let him go,” he insists. “You have to take your pills and get better.”

I turn to Pike again, and when I do, Declan adds on a severed voice, “As much as you need him, I need you more.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Pike.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“It’s not okay. None of this is okay.”

“It’s time to let me go.”

His request burns pieces of my heart into ash. I can feel it—scorching hot and blistering inside me, and I can’t seem to cry hard enough to temper the flames. How do I let go when I don’t know a day of survival without him?

“Don’t leave me!” I sob frantically.

“Baby, this is killing me to see you like this,” Declan says, breaking by my side.

“Say goodbye to me, Elizabeth.”

My face crumples as the agony of losing my brother for good strangles my heart, paralyzing the ventricles. Tears force their way down my cheeks, cutting me like shards of ice.

“Don’t leave me.”

“You’re the best sister anyone could ever have, and I was so lucky that you were mine.”